Writing left handed

Things I Never Thought I Would Do

girl daydreaming

girl daydreamingUpon finding myself implicated in yet another “Single Bridezilla” debate (this time written by an Australian journalist who contacted me for an interview last week) I can’t help but wonder:

How did this happen?

Right.  I wrote a blog post about my grandmother’s wedding dress.  Then I said yes to Marie Claire, yes to Good Morning America and the rest is history.

But I don’t care this time.  If 204 people want to waste their time calling me and the other “Single Bridezillas” crazy, that’s their prerogative.  Especially because the jokes on them (take a guess who’s traffic has just quadrupled.  Actually it hasn’t even quadrupled.  It’s eight-drupled.  Is there a word for that?)

Nonetheless, I’m amazed.  Becoming the poster child for “Single Bridezillas” everywhere wasn’t exactly the reason I went to college (or went on to grad school to complete my MA in anthropology).

Then again, neither was becoming a writer.  And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m doing tons of things I’d never thought I’d do.

For example:

Start a dance company.  Seriously, me?  I hated my dance composition classes in college.  Mainly because I always got stuck with the wacky professors—the ones who’d tell you to squat down on the floor and pretend you were giving birth.  You had to complete three semesters of modern dance choreography before the powers-that-be would allow you to venture into anything else and by three semesters, I’d had it.  But now I have ideas.  I want to choreograph.  I want to perform.  And the only way to make that happen as a tap dancer in the city of Philadelphia is to make it happen myself.  So The Lady Hoofers are holding our first round of open auditions on Saturday, which makes me the official co-founder of a professional dance company.  Whoddathunkit?

Make my living as a teaching artist.  My mother always told me I’d end up working five jobs to pay the bills, and as much as it pains me to say this, she was right.  I always figured I’d end up in arts administration or museum education, someplace with an actual office, complete with office gossip and long lunch breaks.  Instead I work five jobs.  And since I made the decision to leave The School, I’m actually enjoying it.

Write a blog.  I always thought bloggers were weird, or at the very least obsessed with weird things, like cats or Mormon bashing.  (Or planning weddings.)  But heck, here I am three blogs and 1,500 subscribers later.  (Did you know I wrote a blog before Fieldwork In Stilettos?  I actually started blogging during my junior year at Oxford then picked it up again when I moved to London.  The idea for Blog #3 came along when I was working as a Front End Specialist at The Shop.  Talk about your humble beginnings.)

Date dozens of men.  I thought I was going to meet the man of my dreams in Oxford.  (Didn’t happen.) Then I thought I’d meet the man of my dreams in London.  (Didn’t happen.)  Growing up, I always had this feeling that I’d marry young but I couldn’t have been more wrong.  I had a lot to get out of my system and even now, when The Wedding Date and I are going through a particularly rough patch, I wish I’d dated 30 more men before meeting him.  There’s something to be said for the value of experience—of having been there, done that and already made that mistake.  I do feel like I’m making fewer mistakes with The Wedding Date than I have in any of my past relationships but I’m still a work in progress.  (Then again, aren’t we all?)

Date a man with children.  I can still remember the moment when TWD told me he had children.  It was our first date and it was all I could do to keep from running to that bathroom to text one of my girlfriends.  Actually, wait— no— that’s exactly what I did.  I was shocked.  I’d never dated anyone with children before.  And yet the way TWD is with his kids is one of things I respect most about him, and here we are a year later already planning our next cruise—with the kids this time.

Give online dating workshops.  I ordered new business cards for tonight’s session of Online Dating 101.  They contain the words “dating expert” and I kind of want to smack myself in the face when I see them, but heck, I’ve always been into romance and Jane Austen and Sex and the City.  And it turns out I have a lot to say about dating.  I wasn’t sure I’d be up to the task of three articles a week for HotDateIdeas.com but I’ve written dozens now and there’s plenty more where they came from.

So here’s to life turning out not-quite-the-way-you-expected.  To life turning out better than you expected it, in fact.

(And to all the haters out there, let it be known that this particular “Single Bridezilla” has a hot date with her boyfriend tomorrow night, to see Giselle performed by Pennsylvania Ballet no less.)

Now it’s your turn: what unexpected surprise has life tossed your way?

24 Responses to “Things I Never Thought I Would Do”

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks! Single as opposed to married, I suppose. Although I really do need to get around to changing my email address because I’m definitely not still single in that sense!

    • Kat Richter

      I did an “interview” via email. She left out the part where I said I’ve spent LESS than $50 on wedding paraphernalia and that the invitations I’ve “picked out” are actually the discounted half damaged DIY ones they sell at AC Moore. Also, I love how the response to her question about my current status (“No, I’m not engaged”) turned into “Kat Richter is DYING to tie the knot.” But whatever… that’s “journalism” for you. All of this Single Bridezilla stuff is nonsense… but its make good tv and good “news.”

    • T

      I read the article and for the record I do not think you sound like a Bridezilla! The whole thing is a bit exaggerated really. Great advertising for your blog though!

  1. Landlord

    That article wasn’t so bad with regards to your side, but of course the one line had me going, “oh, oh WTD don’t freak out”. Talk about a badly written/worded sentence (on purpose, no doubt). (the line about a proposal)

    Anyway, I kinda also knew you wouldn’t marry early, and I have always known you have so much to accomplish and lots of creative energy with the administrative skills to back it up. I’m glad that you seem to be more comfortable embracing this chaotic but never boring life you have chosen. So excited about the future of the Lady Hoofers! Both you and tech support were encouraged to be passionate about whatever and wherever life takes you and I am pleased to see you both following that path, even when it has twists and turns and unexpected results.

  2. becky119

    When I was younger, I was a complete goodie-two-shoes. According to some, I still am…but I have rebelled a bit in my ways. I used to put on puppet shows for elementary school kids teaching them about the dangers of smoking–then I took up smoking when I went to college. I never imagined I would open that door, in some ways I’m glad that I did because I was able to learn from my mistakes and althought I still crave one now and then, Adam helped me quit more than five years ago.
    I never really pictured myself living with a guy before we were married, but some things just don’t go according to plan. Now that I’ve experienced it, I wouldn’t want to go into marriage without knowing how a guy will behave in his home. I can count on Adam to be consistant in his refusal to do the dishes, but he will more often than not take care of the laundry and every once and awhile I can talk him into cleaning the bathroom.
    I have another one…I grew up with dogs and was convinced that I was a dog person. Away at college I met Gir, the friendliest cat I’ve ever known. I was hooked. I now have three cats and only recently added a dog to the mix. I’d love to get more cats, but Adam says I’m already teetering on the edge of ‘crazy cat lady’ territory. 🙂

    • Kat Richter

      Uh oh, from what I hear its a slippery slope! (Dog lover to crazy cat lady.) I never thought I’d live with someone before marriage either (heck, I never even thought to consider it) but I’m more to the idea than I used to be… so I guess you just never know.
      PS: I hope Adam at least does dishes if you’re the one cooking? That’s the deal TWD and I have: whoever doesn’t cook cleans up.

      • becky119

        I wish…I have a hard enough time getting him to empty the dishwasher once everything is clean. But, he does take care of the outdoor chores without fail which is great because I hate doing them. Sometimes he puts off mowing the lawn for awhile, but he gets it done. And in the winter he shovels the sidewalk and has been known to dig out my car as well. Very sweet. You know how people say relationships are all about compromise? It is totally true. I’ve made peace with the fact that he doesn’t do dishes.
        And the dog lover to crazy cat lady is totally a slippery slope. I blame Gir, if he wasn’t so damn cute I wouldn’t have gotten two more. 🙂

  3. Jerseyite Lurker

    Good thing the text to your friend didn’t ask her to call in half an hour with a cat emergency!

    There’s “octuple,” except that for some reason it’s only listed as a noun and an adjective, not a verb.

  4. Fred Mirsch

    suprises life tossed my way? My list like yours based on normal assupmtions of traditional way life should unfold. School, work, get married , have kids, grow old, be happy. Tossed my way, my wife fell in love with someone else and I was the last to know, we divorce, my best friend passes away suddenly, his widow and I fall in love, together now six years. The only thing in life that suprises me anymore is not encountering suprises on a regular basis.

    ps -looked at link of Lady Hoofers, no link to support your efforts.
    -Son and I in Box 22 thursday, if see you we’ll say hi

    • Kat Richter

      WOW! Talk about unexpected!!! I’ll keep an eye out for you tomorrow night– you’ll get to see TWD in the flesh 🙂 As for The Lady Hoofers website, thanks for the suggestion! We’re still finalizing the paperwork end of things but I’ll definitely add a link once we’re set up to receive support.

  5. cookiegeisha

    About a year ago, I started a burlesque open mic. There have to date been 14 shows–one each month, raising tons of money for local charities and giving a variety of odd acts a place to perform. At the end of this week, I’ll start the first boylesque troupe in the southeast. I wanted to pull my hair out with frustration with this show last night, when my boyfriend looked at me and said, “You know, our problems are annoying to us, but to anyone else they’re fascinating. Our problems would blow other people’s minds.”

    • Kat Richter

      OMG that is amazing! Of course I have a soft spot for anything performing arts related, but good for you! Best of luck with your new troupe– keep us posted!

  6. A new New Zealander reader

    Just by the way – no complaints that you got mentioned on the SMH. If it hadn’t been for that article I would never have known about you and not enjoyed many hilarious minutes reading of your escapades. From someone who met their partner over internet dating – he was only date #2 in my case – there was loads I could relate to! Awesome work and great writing, I can’t wait to read more.

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂 It’s amazing how many people have online dating stories once you get started, some not so successful but some happily ever after 🙂

      • A new New Zealander reader

        We considered just claiming to have met in a bar, but decided honesty is the best policy – and the reactions are so worth it! For every person who says “but you’re both so normal!” there are at least two who admit to trying it… although sadly not so many success stories. I guess we’re the lucky ones 🙂 Love the blog – and I’m only up to October 2010!

  7. Jill

    Ummmmm. Being the Minister’s Wife?
    I’m late as usual, but your writing keeps well. Do I get points for joining two blogs ago?

  8. thingsbridesdontsay

    Reblogged this on thingsbridesdontsay and commented:
    So I read an article from the Huffingtonpost about “the single bridezilla.” I know a lot of non-engaged people that plan their weddings. Thanks to pinterest and other blogs, it’s hard not to window shop. I can’t really judges based on my post “I secretly stalk my wedding dress.” Whether people want to talk about it or not, I thought it was interesting and worth sharing.

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I don’t this us “single bridezillas” are as crazy as the media makes us out to be. And you’re right: it’s IMPOSSIBLE not to window shop!


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