Four Things One Should NOT Do Whilst Single

1) Listen to Train.  Marry Me is going to make me run myself off the road one of these days.  (You should probably stop letting me borrow your car, Mom.)

2) Watch three back-to-back episodes of Wedded to Perfection, followed by Whose Wedding is it Anyway? and finally an entire season of Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress. You know it’s bad when your dad starts to recognize the season’s most memorable bridezillas and can predict which of the fledgling Kleinfeld’s consultants is gonna get the axe (Damn you, Netflix-on-Demand!)

3) Wake up at 4:00am to watch the nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton.  Nothing like a fairy-tale wedding to plunge a single girl into the depths of the despair (especially when you’ve got Princess Eugenie waddling around in that awful Vivienne Westwood number.  Now that was just plain depressing.  And Princess Beatrice—that hat!  What was she thinking?  I’ve seen classier reindeer antlers at the dollar store.)

Beatrice and Eugenie

4) Go shopping.  Three evening gowns, two cocktail dresses and one wedding gown later, I am ready for any number of sophisticated parties and black tie events, including my very own wedding of the century.  Too bad there’s not a groom in sight and I don’t have any decent parties to attend until September

(By the way, in case you were wondering, this brings the Total Number of Wedding Dresses Kat Owns up to TWO.  Don’t ask.)

On an unrelated note, my op-ed in the Baltimore Sun has led to some rather wackadoo emails.  The best, however, was a comment posted on the Sun’s website.  I have pasted it below for your viewing pleasure.

njenk2000 at 1:21 PM April 29, 2011

the writer of this article is a LOSER!

go figure the Sun would publish some garbage like this…and if the author loves england and europe so much then go back! another whiny american thinking that america is so bad and the rest of the world has it right….we don’t want you here anyway! funny cause we are still the only country where immigrants are clamouring to get to….and to mention socialized medicine in an article about this stupid wedding! by the way…universal healthcare will not be free! nothing in this world is…there is a reason why eropean tax rates are through the roof.  nothing but a liberal communist…go ahead and join the weak, spineless europeans…

Nice, eh?  Yeah, I thought so too.

PS: I will be tweeting my way through this weekend’s Starpower Dance Competition, at which my advanced tap students are performing.  Follow me on twitter for hourly bits of snark– not about my girls (my girls ROCK!) but about the rest of them, and about the competition industry in general.  If you’ve ever seen Little Miss Sunshine or read my post on the Susie McSusie dance extravagazna, you’ll know what I’m talking about…

13 Responses to “Four Things One Should NOT Do Whilst Single”

  1. Katie

    So basically the prick who left that comment represents the epitome of how Europeans view Americans and is exactly the type of “representation” who makes more educated, well-traveled, or even just more open minded Americans incredibly embarrassed.

    In other words, just by commenting, he proved your (unspoken) point.

    Oh, the irony…

    Reply
  2. Landlord

    What I thought was really ironic, is that:
    He called it a “stupid wedding”, which begs the question, why was he reading it, when the title clearly had the words, “royal wedding” in it. Clearly though, he is just one of those trolls that sit at their computer composing rants, this one was amusing for me with its pinball, back and forth, crashing against the bumpers, “where will he go next” guessing game feel.

    And for the record, Kat didn’t buy the other “wedding dress” it was her grandmother’s, so she’s crazy folks, just not that crazy 😉 And please someone ask her how much she paid for the dresses she bought!!! Otherwise I do fear someone will be petitioning to commit her to a psych ward against her will 🙂

    Reply
  3. Canti

    Those two princesses are what happens when your mother’s not there to check what you’re wearing before you go out the door … at the very least, Eugenie needed an iron (maybe even for somebody to hit her upside the head with it to keep her from going out like that) and perhaps Beatrice mistakenly thought it was a “Rudolph”-themed wedding and didn’t want to miss the reindeer games. On Anderson Cooper’s show, someone remarked about her hat and the British reporter’s response was, “Englishwomen are so serious in most of their life pursuits, they can pull off a little whimsy in their choice of headwear.” That’s pretty extreme whimsy.

    My “aha” moment of the wedding, that probably only you could appreciate knowing my love of history (please take into consideration that I watched the wedding from bed, too!) … anyway, I was ruminating on William’s uniform, thinking to myself how similar yet how different in little ways were the traditions between our two countries. (emulating my flowing thoughts here) Take that jacket … it’s unlikely that you’d see it here in the US, because it’s so red … such a red … coat. A red … coat. I mean, here in America, it would remind someone of a … redcoat. It occurred to me at that very moment that was pretty much *exactly* what it was, considering Wills is a decorated officer in the British army … :sigh: … At least I was alone in my moment of profound embarrassment; now I just think it’s sorta funny 🙂 I’d been feeling very continental, too, having tea and oatcakes with honey while I watched.

    As for the idiot who ranted on your op/ed piece … a prime example of the power of the “anonymity of the Internet.” Do you really think this person would have said the same things to your face? Unlikely. It saddens me that even the simple civility of discussion is so affected.

    Nice piece, btw … are you now collecting wedding dresses?

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Haha! Thanks. And no– I’m not actually “collecting” wedding dresses, it just sort of happened… (further explanation to follow).

      Reply
  4. mydatingprescription

    Not worried about your love of Europe at all, but, Kat, I am a little worried about what appears to be an obsession with all things wedding. Marriage can be wonderful, but sometimes I think the wedding industrial complex was invented to market the idea of marriage to women as a fairy tale. It definitely is not. All things wedding related should be viewed with suspicion.

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Very true. I’m not as obsessed with all things wedding as much as I am obsessed with making FUN of people who are obsessed with all things wedding. You should hear the comments from the peanut gallery during my Netflix binges 🙂 And in response to previous comments:

      DRESS ONE was inherited from my grandmother. One of my aunts wore it as well and as I’m the only single granddaughter left, it’s come to me. Lo and behold, it actually fits! And I love it, so its quite possible that I’ll be able to skip the whole dress shopping drama all together when the time comes.

      DRESS TWO was purchased yesterday at Jomar’s bargain basement for a whopping $12.99. I couldn’t resist- it was gorgeous and I figured that if I do wear my grandmother’s dress, it might be nice to have something a bit simpler to change into for the reception (not that I really sit around thinking about things… I mean not a lot anyway, lol) and even if I don’t use it for the purpose it’s intended, it would make for a great Bride of Frankenstein Halloween costume 🙂

      Reply
      • mydatingprescription

        That’s lovely that you have your grandmother’s dress and that you actually like it, and, as jaded as I am, I probably would not pass up a wedding dress for $12.99 either.

        Reply
  5. Jill

    Well, the ugly princesses just go to show you that all the money in the world can’t teach you how to work a mirror. And, who is that bride with a much younger William in the sidebar?

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Haha, the sidebar image was one I googled before the wedding just to have something “representative” of the big day. I believe it’s actually one of the Royal Family’s many impersonators.

      Reply
  6. Landlord

    Again, Kat can blame me for her fascination over weddings, events, etc. In a prior life I was a wedding coordinator and still love everything about planning, creating and imagining what might be done ON a BUDGET.
    Secondly a long time family friend is getting married, so we Richter gals are on hyper alert for all things to do with weddings once more. I agree wholeheartedly w/mydatingprescription, the industry has become so different from the one I worked in, everything is about topping your friends wedding, or going into debt to prove something. No longer is it about doing what is reasonable to make your day special and personal while still enabling you to make a down payment on a home 😉 The prices and expenses just make me shake my head.

    Reply
  7. Debbie

    $12.99 for a wedding dress! FABULOUS! JOMAR at its finest… I am so proud!

    Reply
  8. Elise Nersesian-Sole

    Hi Kat! My name is Elise Nersesian-Sole and I’m the Articles Editor at Marie Claire. Please call me. Thanks!

    Reply

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