White Bras Preferred, or How (not) to try on wedding dresses

After two bridal expos, a day trip to DC and five dresses,  think it’s safe to say I am feeling rather wedding-ed out this morning.

This might have something to do with the fact that I didn’t get home from DC and into bed until about 1am (I always forget that DC is further south than Baltimore). It also might have had something to do with the fact that I haven’t been on the DC metro since I started watching House of Cards so I did a lot of wandering around thinking, “Poor Zoe,” and “I hope Frank Underwood isn’t lurking anywhere nearby,” and “If I see anyone in a hat and a trench coat I’m gonna run,” and (finally), “Good thing I have my Crocs on and my stilettos in my bag, this way I can run faster.”

(I think a lot.)

Anyway, we made it to Anthropologie bridal salon around 2pm. I tried on 5 dresses. Online, the first one looked like this:

On the rack, though, it was absolutely hideous. When the sales girl pulled it down, I had to resist the urge to say, “Are you sure I requested THAT? I must have been drinking…”

Things went from bad to worse when I tried it on. So much worse that I didn’t even bother to take a picture. I’m not even into ball gowns but this one had a bit of a Grace Kelly vibe so I figured I’d give it a try… It probably didn’t help that the sample was a size 12.

I then tried on the Valentina, which was much less princess and much more glam: 

Aside from the weird ruffle in the back (that can only be described as a split butt cheak cascade), I liked the overall silhouette and went so far as to get to fully “jacked up” (I was really hoping someone would say “let’s jack ‘er up” with a southern accent like they do on Says Yes to the Dress Atlanta but alas, life is full of disappointments). It looked good with the little bedazzled belt and birdcage veil but not $1,000 good- not yet.

Since I have my grandmother’s dress, not to mention the $12 fit-n-flair I got at Jomar, I decided to turn my focus to reception dresses (because why have one dress when you can have two? Or, in my case, two dresses when you can have three???).

I tried this one with high hopes:

And even though the beading was super pretty (and reasonably priced for a wedding gown), it made me look kind of pregnant.

I will say this: the sales girl was really nice and not at all pushy and she gave us great tips for how to save on shipping, check inventory, and predict when certain gowns will get “retired” (which is helpful if you’re indecisive and not ready to make a decision any time soon).

I will also say this: when the “appointment prep” section of the website tells you to wear “white or nude colored undergarments” you should listen. I went out to Target especially and am very glad that I did, even though I hate buying underwear as a rule (just ask PIC) and have adopted a rather “vintage” attitude towards bras in general (by which I mean I’d have totally been a bra burner back in the day).

Anyway, more tomorrow because I haven’t even started on the expos yet and from an anthropological standpoint, my God, their f*cking fascinating.

7 Responses to “White Bras Preferred, or How (not) to try on wedding dresses”

  1. Landlord No Longer

    After yesterday’s foray into the “trying on” portion of wedding planning, I realized how exhausting it can be, especially since many of the designers seem to assign sizes willy nilly…how can I be 3 different sizes in one day? And the god awful selection of MOB dresses, which is why I didn’t ask for MOB dresses…I think they want to put us on a shelf with a sign that says, “Expired, we are now only worthy of frumpy dresses with no sex appeal or style” Sheesh!

  2. casespace

    Love the last dress, but I also am wary of anything cutting across or above my belly for the very reason you mention. The second one is a silhouette I’d go for too.


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