1) Listen to Train. Marry Me is going to make me run myself off the road one of these days. (You should probably stop letting me borrow your car, Mom.)
2) Watch three back-to-back episodes of Wedded to Perfection, followed by Whose Wedding is it Anyway? and finally an entire season of Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress. You know it’s bad when your dad starts to recognize the season’s most memorable bridezillas and can predict which of the fledgling Kleinfeld’s consultants is gonna get the axe (Damn you, Netflix-on-Demand!)
3) Wake up at 4:00am to watch the nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Nothing like a fairy-tale wedding to plunge a single girl into the depths of the despair (especially when you’ve got Princess Eugenie waddling around in that awful Vivienne Westwood number. Now that was just plain depressing. And Princess Beatrice—that hat! What was she thinking? I’ve seen classier reindeer antlers at the dollar store.)
4) Go shopping. Three evening gowns, two cocktail dresses and one wedding gown later, I am ready for any number of sophisticated parties and black tie events, including my very own wedding of the century. Too bad there’s not a groom in sight and I don’t have any decent parties to attend until September…
(By the way, in case you were wondering, this brings the Total Number of Wedding Dresses Kat Owns up to TWO. Don’t ask.)
On an unrelated note, my op-ed in the Baltimore Sun has led to some rather wackadoo emails. The best, however, was a comment posted on the Sun’s website. I have pasted it below for your viewing pleasure.
njenk2000 at 1:21 PM April 29, 2011
the writer of this article is a LOSER!
go figure the Sun would publish some garbage like this…and if the author loves england and europe so much then go back! another whiny american thinking that america is so bad and the rest of the world has it right….we don’t want you here anyway! funny cause we are still the only country where immigrants are clamouring to get to….and to mention socialized medicine in an article about this stupid wedding! by the way…universal healthcare will not be free! nothing in this world is…there is a reason why eropean tax rates are through the roof. nothing but a liberal communist…go ahead and join the weak, spineless europeans…
Nice, eh? Yeah, I thought so too.
PS: I will be tweeting my way through this weekend’s Starpower Dance Competition, at which my advanced tap students are performing. Follow me on twitter for hourly bits of snark– not about my girls (my girls ROCK!) but about the rest of them, and about the competition industry in general. If you’ve ever seen Little Miss Sunshine or read my post on the Susie McSusie dance extravagazna, you’ll know what I’m talking about…