How to Kill Two Birds with One Pair of Mutts

Before you ask, no, this post isn’t actually about killing birds. It is about dogs though.

Before we begin, however, I need to explain that PIC loves dogs. He loves them passionately. He spends at least 10 or 15 minutes a day looking at pictures of dogs on the internet; he takes screen shots of them and sends them to me in response to questions like, “Should we go grocery shopping tonight?” and “What do you think of Sister Hazel for our first dance?

Sometimes he and I watch the “Puppy Cam” channel on Hulu (Animal Planet has an entire collection of shows featuring cameras fixed on various types of animals, but the five puppies we’ve been following just sleep all day; Say Yes to the Dress is way more exciting). We’ve even been known to hang around dog parks watching (and conspiring to steal) other people’s dogs.


We had a good 5 minute debate over this photo and whether or not it had been photoshopped until PIC informed me that huskies are known for being “very nimble.”

The reason for all of this is simple: I always had dogs growing up but I know my work schedule isn’t conducive to getting a dog right now.

PIC has never had a dog, but has always wanted one.

I’ve heard various explanations for this:

  • He is allergic to shrimp and his mother assumed, therefore, that he was allergic to all animals.
  • He is allergic to shrimp but not to dogs, however his parents didn’t want a dog so they told him he was allergic to dogs.
  • He was allergic to dogs at one point in time but has since grown out of it.

I honestly don’t know what to believe.

But back to the point of today’s post.

PIC sets multiple alarm clocks in the morning. Sometimes just two, but usually at least three. Then there are the days when his stop watch decides—quite inexplicably—to join the party; it starts beeping for no reason and I’m always to one to go and hunt it down because PIC can’t hear it.

This wouldn’t annoy me so much if I didn’t have to get up so early (I can be up, showered and out the door in 20 minutes if I have to). And if would he would set his alarms for normal, round number times, like 6:30, 6:35, and 6:40. No. He sets them for weird numbers like 6:32, 6:43, and 6:49. WHO DOES THAT???

Dogs, however, don’t take no for an answer. Dogs don’t have snooze buttons. And they tend to go off well before the nice round numbers I crave.

But PIC loves the dogs. So much so that he practically scampers out of bed to let them out, all the while having pleasant little conversations with them about the weather, the fact that they’ve just sneezed, and how he expects them to be on good behavior when they go outside.

This more than anything else cracks me up because PIC is more of a strong, silent type and I always wish he’d be a bit chattier.

Who knew that a pair of dogs could solve all of our problems?

And seriously, how could you not love this face?

And seriously, how could you not love this face?


17 Responses to “How to Kill Two Birds with One Pair of Mutts”

  1. landlord no longer

    Thank goodness you began this post with “not about killing birds” as I thought, “oh no, did they kill some birds?” Yes, who could not love that face, he is by far the most adorable dog we’ve had, and when he does the side tilt thing…but he is also a maniac, as PIC I’m sure now knows. He will have to begin to learn about being the alpha dog, something chauffeur has never quite mastered. Do I see a new toy? LOL

    • Kat Richter

      Oh yeah, we bought him that toy the last time they were here. I also made him a MEGA sock toy (like all the socks and stockings that I got rid of when Kondo-ing) which he has torn apart a bunch of times already. PIC texted me while I was at rehearsal last night (because the neighbors were having a BBQ so the dogs were freaking out every he let them out) to say, “I’ve discovered that when they are going crazy, you just have to hug them.” He loves them 🙂

      • No Longer her Landlord

        yes, hence the “Thunder shirts” we keep at Hooper when it is “high season” there, it really does work!

  2. Chauffeur

    I know that face,… speed bump the dog looks good… but where is door stop? (Or tripping hazard, take your pick).

  3. Zak

    First off, my dogs leap their front two legs onto the bed in the mornings we try to sleep in, but seem to understand “not yet.” Which is great! At least for another 10 minutes.

    Second, I have complete conversations with my dogs, say “bless you” whenever they sneeze, followed by asking myself out loud why I say that because they can’t understand.

      • No Longer her Landlord

        Chauffeur not only has convos with the dogs, but makes up stupid songs…he is waaay too chatty, so the dogs fit the bill.

        • Zak

          Holy smokes! I do the same thing. I literally sing songs to my dogs so often, I sometimes catch myself doing it while walking around the neighborhood (and more than once realized my neighbors heard me…!).

      • No Longer her Landlord

        That is why the “morning blanket routine” began, once we were able to SLEEP IN, they didn’t care, so we enticed them with putting a “dog blanket” on in the AM, and they actually know that means we can come up and sleep on the bed, (which is CRACK for them, as you know they are not usually allowed to do that) so it gives us a bit more time in the AM.

        • Kat Richter

          Yeah, we tried that but our bed it too high up for them and the floor is pretty slippery in there, plus the bed is on wheels… suffice it to say, it was a disaster. I’ll have to buy them one of those lame dog ramps from SkyMall, lol!

  4. marinela09

    My boyfriend does the EXACT same thing with his alarm clock. He explained the odd times to me one time like this: Think about it, if you set it to 6.37 you get an extra 7 minutes (!!!) of sleep, and you’ll still be done on time.
    He also mentioned something about uneven sleep cycles and REM phases … so I stopped asking.


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