Writing left handed

Hard to Say What it is I See in You…

I know that marriage is about compromise (or finding creative solutions, or win/win scenarios or whatever the current non-compromise buzz words happen to be) and that planning a wedding is going to require some compromise too…

And so, in the spirit of getting used to not always having my way, I decided to loosen my grip on good ol’ Celine Dion and consider some alternatives.

After all, wouldn’t it be nice to have a song that means something to me and PIC, or that at least reminds me of him? I fell in love with My Perfect First Dance Song when I was like 13: nearly two decades before I even met the man in question.

But we don’t have a special song. And we really don’t like any of the same types of music.

Unless you count U2. And Barry White.

But everyone likes U2 and Barry White.

And I really can’t see us dancing to either one of those at our wedding.

At any rate, I started doing some research, googling first dance songs and what not, and although this seems like a bit of a cop out (shouldn’t we have a special song already?), I tell myself that the very fact that sites like these exist is proof that we’re not the only couple having trouble in this department.

Ergo we are normal.

Ergo we are still a good match.

I was rather tickled by the suggestion of All for You by Sister Hazel, which has some slightly-less-than-romantic-but-nonetheless-realistic lyrics. I pulled it up on Youtube and by the time it got to the line about wondering what you see in a person, I found myself practically weeping at my desk in the middle of the work day because there are in fact times when I ask myself this question (like when he makes sarcastic comments or leaves his gym bag in the middle of floor when I’ve just spent 2 hours straightening the entire downstairs…) but in the end I always find myself still wanting him.

Anyway, I texted PIC, feeling all loved up and happy and proud of myself of sacrificing Celine Dion for the greater good and asked, “What do you think of Sister Hazel?”

He texted back this picture:


So I guess it’s back to the drawing board.


18 Responses to “Hard to Say What it is I See in You…”

  1. K.

    It could be worse. With one ex, “our song” was (granted, Ben Folds cover of) “Bitches Ain’t Shit”.

    Other “our” songs I’ve have had which are undoubtedly better (and not necessarily “standard” though may be hard to dance to…):

    1. “Fade Into You”, Mazzy Star
    2. “Sweet Avenue”, Jets to Brazil
    3. “This Will Be Our Year”, the Zombies (easiest to dance to)

    • Kat Richter

      Wow! That’s quite the eclectic list there! My very first boyfriend and I had that terribly unromantic “From the window to the wall” song as “ours.” I don’t know what the hell was wrong with us. I told myself it was unique and ironic at the time, can’t even remember it’s proper name these days…

  2. Zak

    Wait… can I claim I don’t like U2? I don’t, mostly, except some stuff like Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me.

    How about Five Years Time by Noah and the Whale? Except the last part, it’s pretty awesome. You should spend three minutes of your life and watch their video. The choreography is the best!

    I’m glad you’re having so much fun planning everything out. For me, you’re confirming how much I’m glad C and I are eloping. So you should feel even happier – you’re helping others at the same time! 🙂

  3. casespace

    I like U2 and Barry too. Preferably the latter’s “My First, My Last, My Everything.” Although I don’t know how anyone dances to that. It sounds like a disco song.

  4. landlord no longer

    Okay, so I think I’ve told you that the “our song” was actually a song picked out by chauffeur because he was not going to be able to go out with me that night and the DJ on the radio didn’t have his first choice…so NO this was not picked out by both of us, and it was a 2nd choice!!! Back in the day when one would call the local radio and request a song to be played for some infraction or “romantic” moment…it is NOT a BIG DEAL. As long as you can stand it…and U2 Version of “Unchained Melody” WHAT????? gotta youtube it.

    I also told chauffeur I loved Sister Hazel’s song and how it described our relationship and he gave a much less visual but no less clueless response as to what he thought of it. I think it was written for the female sex….I so resonate with the lyrics., oh well, it must go on the playlist for later in the night, so I can at least drag chauffeur out and sing it to him, with much gusto, the lyrics,
    “It’s hard to say what it is I see in you
    If I’ll always be with you
    Words can’t say it, I can’t do
    Enough to prove, it’s all for you”

    • Kat Richter

      Funny you should mention this because he was just telling me that he got them to play what became “your song” after your second date and he was happy so he called the radio station.

      I told him, “That’s not how I heard it. I heard Mom was mad at you because you didn’t go out with her so you called the radio station to make up for it.”

      Which he totally denied… Lol!

  5. Mary M

    When it came to choosing our song, I wanted some random song by some indie artist who didn’t even have an album at the time (and maybe still doesn’t, i’m now inspired to check” but then my husband said “whenever I think of us, I think of Warmness on the soul by Avenged Sevenfold. They aren’t my thing, but i fell in love with that song when he played it for me.

    Now i’m going to listen to All For You

  6. Laurie

    Funniest first song at a wedding: Yakkety Yak (Don’t Talk Back). Imagine how we laughed when the first line sounded: “Take Out the Papers and the Trash!” while the wedding couple boogied. If you like jazz, consider “So Nobody Else Can Hear” by Jimmy Cobb with Gregory Hines and Marilyn Redfield. It’s a beautiful love song.

    • No Longer her Landlord

      Laurie, GH also did a nice song with Luther Vandross, can’t remember the name right now, but it was one of my favorite Luther songs…I didn’t know about this one, will have to youtube it.

  7. How to Kill Two Birds with One Pair of Mutts | Fieldwork in Stilettos

    […] Before we begin, however, I need to explain that PIC loves dogs. He loves them passionately. He spends at least 10 or 15 minutes a day looking at pictures of dogs on the internet; he takes screen shots of them and sends them to me in response to questions like, “Should we go grocery shopping tonight?” and “What do you think of Sister Hazel for our first dance?” […]


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