#MeToo and Matrescence at the Gas Pump
A few weeks ago, while I was pumping gas and thinking through about a million and one different things on my way into work, the man…
I think we might be “Glamping”
“Free wi-fi” doesn’t really mean free wi-fi in the great American southwest. It means if you stand on one foot, cross your eyes, stick out your…
Adventures in Physical Therapy: Why rebuild your core when you can just sit around and eat chips?
My first thought, upon heading into the physical therapist’s office, is “What’s with all these obese people lounging around on recliners and eating chips?” My second…
Weekend Report, Newlywed Edition: An empty pool and a full bladder
Last week, I had my month-out post op appointment with the neurosurgeon who performed my microdiscetomy last month. I was granted the all clear to resume…
Weekend Report, Newlywed Edition: On Closing the Bathroom Door
You know you’ve just about lost your mind when your plans for the day include the spray painting and subsequent bedazzling of a small ceramic dog…
Married People Stories
According to my dad, there’s some comedian who does a bit about “married people stories.” They’re not funny. They’re boring as hell, actually. They entail things…
The Case of the Slippery Wedding Dress (and oh yeah, I got married last weekend)
In the sixth grade, which was my last year attending public school, I took dance as my elective. The gym teacher, who was somewhat of a…
The Anthropology of the Anthropologie Sample Sale
So the thing that nobody tells you about a lumbar ESI is that they comprise a “it’s gonna get worse before it gets better” kind of…
Can Bad Karma Hurt Your Leg?
Well, this one takes the cake: After waiting on hold for 15 minutes with the MRI Department at Penn in order to request a copy of…
Pinterest Made Me Do It
The good thing about having a herniated disc, a “possibly degenerated” disc, and a rather soul-crushing case of sciatica is that you can’t sleep more than…
A Lesson to Macy’s From George Banks
Apparently I have more to say on the subject of the wedding registry. (Who knew such a benign cultural convention would make for such great literary…
The Bare Necessities
It’s been a while since I’ve found myself running anywhere as a dance critic. This is because you learn a thing or two over the years, like…
Fieldwork in Stilettos 