The First of the Bridal Nightmares…

They’re starting: the pre-wedding nightmares. I’m told this is all part of the process, but still: already?

PIC and I are in St. Maarten for crying out loud. I write this all from a balcony about twenty feet from the beach. My biggest concern this morning ought to be whether its socially permissible to start drinking yet… not wedding stuff.

And yet I had not one but THREE different wedding-related nightmares last night.


In the first, my dad decided to “help” with the table décor by “making” sheer overlays himself. He bought some sheer Ikea curtains and cut them into strips but he cut them all raggedly so they looked like they’d been chewed up by a mouse.

In the second, our bridal attendant (I didn’t even know there was such a thing until I started reading venue reviews on Wedding Wire) completely dropped the ball and as the wedding ended and I realized I hadn’t eaten a single thing.

In the third, the venue we selected had scheduled a second wedding either during or immediately following ours and the next bride’s guests entered the reception space before my guests had left and—worst of all—starting taking their favors!

It probably doesn’t help matters that my reading material for the past week has been a steady diet of bridal porn (aka Pinterest and a bridal magazine bought by PIC’s mom) interspersed with Eric Larson’s Devil in the White City. I’ve been meaning to read the latter for ages and finally finished it the day before last. It’s a fascinating read but if you’re hoping to avoid nightmares, I’d recommend you steer clear.

11 Responses to “The First of the Bridal Nightmares…”

  1. Chauffeur

    To be clear…. I know where my talents are and are not. Table decor us clearly the latter.
    Btw, it is socially acceptable to begin drinking at 10am on vacation (or not on vacation too).

  2. no longer her landlord

    We so HAVE this under control, what do you think I’ve been training for all of these years? I have already made a spreadsheet for where I need staff assistance and my solo tasks…GOT IT! But at least you didn’t show up naked 😉

  3. Debbie

    Please please PLEASE turn your brain off and go dunk yourself in St. Marteen’s beautiful warm turquoise waters. Or at least try. 🙂

  4. Mary M

    Before my wedding, i kept having nightmares about being murdered by hobos after putting my dress on.

  5. ladymeritaten

    I’ve not touched bridal porn and I refuse to touch Pintrest. But I kind of want porn now. But I bet it will be all strapless dresses. Gag.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: