We’re Rolling! And I’m Twirling Around in my $12 Wedding Dress…

Its 12:05 and the Good Morning America folks still haven’t arrived.  My poor mother has practically glued herself to the kitchen window (she’s keeping watch for any sign of the film crew), and I feel like a high school senior stood up on prom night.

“Maybe they’re not coming?” I venture.

It has, after all, been several days since I’ve spoken to the producer.  I thought we’d settled on Tuesday at noon but I was so busy setting things up for a photo shoot with The Inquirer that I didn’t realize the weekend had come and gone with nary a word from Good Morning America.

“I should have called them to confirm,” I continue.  “But I didn’t even think of it until this morning!”

“It is what it is,” my mother says, “these things happen.  And you can’t even get mad because then you’ll never get another TV appearance.”

“I know…”

I decide, as I always decide when faced with such matters, that I’ll add it to the list.  Not the list of desirable qualities in a mate, but the list of humiliating anecdotes that I’ll eventually work into a speech someday, once I’m truly an accomplished writer and am asked to give a key note address to a crowd of young hopefuls.

“Back when I was 26,” I’ll tell them, “I got a call from one of the producers at Good Morning America requesting an interview for a segment on ‘single bridezillas.’  I spent four hours ironing my grandmother’s wedding dress and practicing my very best sound-bites.  I dragged my poor mother to every Produce Junction within a thirty mile radius and spent a fortune on flowers so that the producers could film her making mock centerpieces.  I bought a brand new cashmere sweater to wear for the shoot and woke up at the crack of dawn to do my hair and would you believe it?  The bastards never showed.”

Fortunately, it didn’t come to that.

“I see cameras!” my mother exclaims.  “They’re here!”

And so begins the slow process of transforming Casa Richter into a bone fide film set: cameras, lights, tripods, microphones, more lights, more cameras… I can’t quite believe how much stuff there is.

Nor can I believe how many people are involved.  There’s the camera guy, the producer (who’s nearly eight months pregnant) and finally “the talent,” a highly made-up blonde who puts my own attempts at proper eye shadow application to shame.

They seem to think I know what I’m doing, probably because I’ve got my very best “Development” face on (thanks to my days in the fundraising office at the Walnut Street Theatre) and I’m offering everyone tea and coffee like I do this sort of thing all the time but really, I’m scared out of my wits and I’d really like somebody to tell me what’s going on like the producer for last month’s CNBC shoot did.

Before I know it, I’ve got a microphone up my sweater, hooked onto my necklace, and I’m holding a white piece of paper towel in front of my face.

“Closer” the camera guy instructs.

I move the paper towel closer.

“Closer!” he says again.

The blonde, who’s to conduct the interview just smiles, but I can tell what she’s really thinking.  She’s thinking “Jesus Christ!  This girl doesn’t have a clue!”

At last, the white balance (or whatever it’s called…) is set and we’re ready to roll.

Three hours later, we’ve finally made it to the finish line.  And I’ve nailed it.

At least I think I’ve nailed it.

Who knows what the editing process will entail—I’ll probably end up looking like a complete lunatic on national television and The Wedding Date will decide that he wants nothing to do with me, but I’ve agreed to finish watching Star Wars with him on Friday and I am, despite my previous aversion to all things intergalactic, quite curious about the ending, so let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

PS: I believe the segment is scheduled to air on Friday… will keep you posted!

11 Responses to “We’re Rolling! And I’m Twirling Around in my $12 Wedding Dress…”

  1. CaptainPhoenixRising

    This is just about as good as the time my friend got to do a segment on Martha Stewart! I need to be keeping track of all of my friends and their national television turns. And find a way to photoshop myself in…

    Reply
    • Landlord

      oooh, I would love to hear the dirt about taping a MS segment–I imagine that is very tightly controlled, just like the madam herself.

      Reply
  2. Landlord

    I just happen to like sitting at the window on a rainy day, watching the kids play hockey, oh, what they were in school yesterday at noon? LOL

    Reply
  3. Zak

    “…I’ll probably end up looking like a complete lunatic on national television and The Wedding Date will decide that he wants nothing to do with me…”

    Here’s the good news: TWD sounds like a great guy. Great guys don’t care how badly someone else makes you look, they like/love you all the same. The like/love you all the same because they already know you. They already know you because you keep agreeing to go out on dates.

    The bad news: if they make you look bad, he might send a nasty email to them. Oh, wait, that’s okay, probably funny, even.

    Reply
  4. Philly Tap Teaser

    I’m still baffled by the appeal of this topic as a ‘trend piece’ for GMA, Marie Claire, etc. Is it more of a commentary that wedding planning and dress shopping has become a freakish obsession here in the US? Or that women like to have their ducks in a row so that they can ensure the best day ever, (even if it never arrives)? Or that men & women in general are committing at much older ages than ever, so there’s more time for women to think about these things…? Kat, you need to do an analytical piece as a follow-up. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Kate Ferguson Writes

    I agree with Philly Tap Teaser… it seems terribly contrived, given that you bought flowers for the event. Very keen to see the clip though, so do share it with those of us across the atlantic once it’s out..

    Reply
  6. Tech Support

    I’m quite surprised the camera guy did not have his own official white balance card. Really, a paper towel, there not even completely white, at least not the recycled awesome ones. Hope it all went well, Mom will have to tape it.

    Reply
  7. Landlord

    I *think* it is about women getting married later AND the fact that the wedding industry has become HUGE, along with “outdoor living rooms”, Sweet 16’s, SUV’s, Hummers, etc. Everything is bigger and just “more”. With our take on it, we are just party people as a family, and since I was once in the biz, (way before it became an industry) we did/do talk about weddings more than the normal person/family. So, with tongue in cheek it has appeared on the blog, and unbeknown to Kat, she was in the middle of a “trend” as you mentioned, who’d a thunk it?

    Reply
  8. Do I Look Fat in this Dress? | Fieldwork in Stilettos

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    Reply
  9. Dress #1, #2, and possibly #3 | Fieldwork in Stilettos

    […] But, if you’ve been with me since the beginning (or at least since I was featured on Good Morning America as their token “Single Bridezilla”), you know that I already have 2 wedding dresses. That’s right folks: 2, you can read all about them (and the rationale behind them) here. […]

    Reply

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