It was the moment every single man dreams of, which is why I thrust my chai latte at The Wedding Date and ran towards the “woman’s interest” rack when I saw that the new Marie Claire had come out.
Why the sudden obsession with Marie Claire?
Well, a while back I received a message from the articles editor in response to a blog post I’d written; she asked for an interview and I readily agreed. Upon learning that the article would come out in the February issue, I started stalking the newsstands early last week.
On Tuesday, I checked at the grocery store. They didn’t even have Marie Claire.
On Wednesday, I check at the library—they had it, but only the January issue with Angelina Jolie on the cover.
On Thursday, I dragged my co-producer to Victoria’s Secret after our lunch meeting and whined, “When is the February issue going to get here???“
“I’ll check my Kindle,” she offered. “I got a free subscription for Christmas.” But there was Angelina Jolie, again.
On Friday, I dragged The Wedding Date into the newsstand as we made our way to the departures gate en route to Boston. “I just need to check something…” I explained. But there she was: Angelina Jolie— Miss January— staring right back at me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was mocking me.
By Saturday, I was ready to give up but then I realized that The Wedding Date and I had about forty minutes until our flight.
“I’m just going to take a quick peak,” I announced, and made my way towards the newsstand.
“Glamour… Vogue… Cosmo… Marie Claire… wait… that’s not Angelina Jolie! That’s Christina Aguilera! It’s the FEBRUARY ISSUE!!!”
I think I knocked over about seven innocent bystanders in my excitement but what can say? I’ve never been written up in a national magazine before.
“Grab me one too!” The Wedding Date urged “I want to read it.”
“Come on, let me see it!”
“Because… it’s about… well, it might send you running for the hills.”
This is because Marie Claire didn’t call to elicit my opinion on child sex trafficking, or to inquire about my anthropological approach to dating. They didn’t even want to know my thoughts on spring fashions (or where to score designer dresses for $12).
They wanted to interview me for an article called “Single Bridezillas.”
And if that wasn’t bad enough, the subtitle reads “A new breed of would-be bride is on the rise. They’re designing wedding invitations, looking at rings and dreaming about their big day—now all they need is a groom.”
Like I said: it was the moment that every single man dreams of.
Turning my back to The Wedding Date, I flipped to the table of contents.
“Here it is,” I whispered, “’The ‘Love and Sex’ section: Planning a wedding sans ring—or groom!’ Page 169.”
There, in bold, bright red was the letter “K,” followed by my name, followed by this:
Kat Richter, 26, a single writer and teaching artist in Philadelphia has, like many women, dreamed about her wedding day since she was a teenager.
Then there’s a quote.
Then another, then the words “floral arrangements,” “centerpieces,” “procession” and “honeymoon,” all in rapid succession.
The article goes on to explain that I’m part of a growing trend, the Single Bridezilla, and the only reason why I don’t sound like a complete lunatic is because one of the other women interviewed (a 38-year old lawyer) admits that she wants her wedding to be as magical as the one in Twilight: Breaking Dawn.
I decide that my collection of wedding dresses pales in comparison so I skim the rest of the article to make sure there’s nothing too embarrassing and hand it over to The Wedding Date.
As I pull out my wallet, he asks to the cashier, “Do you see this girl? She’s famous!” The cashier just smiles politely but that doesn’t stop The Wedding Date. He announces to anyone and everyone that I’m going to be famous someday and even when I remind him it’s just a quote (and not a byline) he wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me on the cheek.
With that, we make our way over to our gate with our chai lattes and proceed to spend the next half an hour cracking ourselves up over the pile of condoms depicted on page 171 (the preschool teacher in me thought I was looking at a game of ring toss).
For further amusement and embarrassing confessions from Yours Truly, check out this month’s Marie Claire (by which I mean next month’s—the one with Christina Aguilera on the cover).
- Christina Aguilera on February Cover of Marie Claire: Celebrity Secret Weapon (bellasugar.com)
- Angelina Jolie: More ‘Marie Claire’ Pics! (justjared.buzznet.com)
- Angelina Jolie Tells ‘Marie Claire’ Magazine She ‘Could End Up Pregnant’ (pinkisthenewblog.com)