Date #7 wants me to come for Christmas dinner. Actually Date #7’s mother wants me to come for Christmas dinner but if her son’s cell phone records are of any indication, she’s not the only one.
This is problematic, because I’m going out with The Wedding Date tomorrow night and we’ve already got our fifth and sixth dates lined up as well. Plus, thanks to you all, I now know the difference between ewoks and wookiees (who knew The Force would inspire so many comments!) and I’m pretty eager to take my newfound knowledge of all things Star Wars out for a spin.
(And no, The Wedding Date does not get dressed up and go to conferences. Have a little faith in me!)
Whenever a friend asks me how my love life is going, I reply, “Oh God, it’s a hot mess!” Not because it’s going badly per se, but because it’s going in two different directions. Date #7 and The Wedding Date are polar opposites and even though I’ve tried to close the door on the man from Pittsburgh numerous times, he’s still calling and texting and inviting me to visit (and sending perfectly-timed messages while I’m out with The Wedding Date to say “No kissing.” As if he has the right to tell me who I can and cannot kiss!)
My girlfriends keep telling me, “Stop worrying! It’s just dating! There’s nothing wrong with seeing two guys at once.” And yet even though I’ve only seen The Wedding Date three times and haven’t seen Date #7 since October, I think there is something wrong with “seeing” two guys at once, even if you’re honest with both of them.
I penned the following earlier this fall during a particularly… eventful day back in October shortly after Date #7’s disastrous visit to Philadelphia but I decided it was a bit too much too post at the time. It does, however, provide a pretty accurate representation of how my life has been going (and then I wonder why I’m always too tired to get out of bed in the morning…). Here goes:
I’ve got four text messages lined up in my phone right now. Four in a row. What’s uncanny is that they’re all from men—different men I’ve dated over the course of the past month and even though I haven’t slept with any of them, the sight of their names popping up in such close proximity has put me on edge.
And given me a lot to think about.
The first comes from one of the A.R.T.T.E. boys, who I had the pleasure of seeing again last week at one of the Occupy DC rallies.
The second is from The Wedding Date, confirming our date for Thursday and wishing me “sweet dreams.” It’s been a while since anybody has wished me sweet dreams. It’s so silly—so high school—but it’s also so very lovely. In fact, I can’t quite remember the last time somebody wished me “sweet dreams…”
Next up is Date #7. It’s bland, and benign, but it’s there. Essentially it reads: Hey, remember me? I am trying. I don’t know what the f*ck I am doing but you keep harping on this communication thing so this is me communicating, got it?
Of course, it’s not nearly so loquacious. He says this all in four words.
Finally— and this last one is a bit of a surprise to be honest— is Date #6. It’s been a week or so since we last spoke (save the text messages I sent him about the Phillies game last Friday because I was so freakin’ bored sitting in that bar and waiting for Date #7 …) but he’s read my blog. And even though he hates it, he’s offering his condolences and telling me not to lose hope.
(I text him back to say thank you, and to tell him that in light of recent developments, I’m probably better off becoming a lesbian. He is surprisingly supportive of this plan.)
So there you have it: a day in the life of a manthropologist.
And on that note, I need to go get ready for my date tomorrow night. (By which I mean do some actual laundry so that I won’t have to add “indecent exposure” to my list transgressions.)
- Man Enough to Say “I Like You” (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)
- Hiking, The Wedding Date and My Mother, the Fortune Teller (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)
- Hot and Cold and Oh-So-Predictable (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)