Four Little Text Messages All in a Row
Date #7 wants me to come for Christmas dinner. Actually Date #7’s mother wants me to come for Christmas dinner but if her son’s cell phone records are of any indication, she’s not the only one.
This is problematic, because I’m going out with The Wedding Date tomorrow night and we’ve already got our fifth and sixth dates lined up as well. Plus, thanks to you all, I now know the difference between ewoks and wookiees (who knew The Force would inspire so many comments!) and I’m pretty eager to take my newfound knowledge of all things Star Wars out for a spin.
(And no, The Wedding Date does not get dressed up and go to conferences. Have a little faith in me!)
Whenever a friend asks me how my love life is going, I reply, “Oh God, it’s a hot mess!” Not because it’s going badly per se, but because it’s going in two different directions. Date #7 and The Wedding Date are polar opposites and even though I’ve tried to close the door on the man from Pittsburgh numerous times, he’s still calling and texting and inviting me to visit (and sending perfectly-timed messages while I’m out with The Wedding Date to say “No kissing.” As if he has the right to tell me who I can and cannot kiss!)
My girlfriends keep telling me, “Stop worrying! It’s just dating! There’s nothing wrong with seeing two guys at once.” And yet even though I’ve only seen The Wedding Date three times and haven’t seen Date #7 since October, I think there is something wrong with “seeing” two guys at once, even if you’re honest with both of them.
I penned the following earlier this fall during a particularly… eventful day back in October shortly after Date #7’s disastrous visit to Philadelphia but I decided it was a bit too much too post at the time. It does, however, provide a pretty accurate representation of how my life has been going (and then I wonder why I’m always too tired to get out of bed in the morning…). Here goes:
I’ve got four text messages lined up in my phone right now. Four in a row. What’s uncanny is that they’re all from men—different men I’ve dated over the course of the past month and even though I haven’t slept with any of them, the sight of their names popping up in such close proximity has put me on edge.
And given me a lot to think about.
The first comes from one of the A.R.T.T.E. boys, who I had the pleasure of seeing again last week at one of the Occupy DC rallies.
The second is from The Wedding Date, confirming our date for Thursday and wishing me “sweet dreams.” It’s been a while since anybody has wished me sweet dreams. It’s so silly—so high school—but it’s also so very lovely. In fact, I can’t quite remember the last time somebody wished me “sweet dreams…”
Next up is Date #7. It’s bland, and benign, but it’s there. Essentially it reads: Hey, remember me? I am trying. I don’t know what the f*ck I am doing but you keep harping on this communication thing so this is me communicating, got it?
Of course, it’s not nearly so loquacious. He says this all in four words.
Finally— and this last one is a bit of a surprise to be honest— is Date #6. It’s been a week or so since we last spoke (save the text messages I sent him about the Phillies game last Friday because I was so freakin’ bored sitting in that bar and waiting for Date #7 …) but he’s read my blog. And even though he hates it, he’s offering his condolences and telling me not to lose hope.
(I text him back to say thank you, and to tell him that in light of recent developments, I’m probably better off becoming a lesbian. He is surprisingly supportive of this plan.)
So there you have it: a day in the life of a manthropologist.
And on that note, I need to go get ready for my date tomorrow night. (By which I mean do some actual laundry so that I won’t have to add “indecent exposure” to my list transgressions.)
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Kat Echevarría Richter 
20 Responses to “Four Little Text Messages All in a Row”
Just say NO to Date #7! (And his Mother…) Christmas Dinner is reserved for Japanese food the Grandparents. (Don’t these people read your blog?)
The only thing I can say is really focus on how you FEEL with each of them…when they text or call or visit. The difference in your writing about the two of them is HUGE. And maybe ask the question, is Date #7 just a trophy hunter? Is he more interested in the possibility of you? And if he suceeds in getting you, will he just put you on the shelf and ignore you…
“clunk”, the sound of hitting the nail on the head…
That’s it– you guys are not allowed to go shopping together any more! 😉
I wanted to add something but that stopped me in my tracks….
First off… if Date #7 said ALL THAT in 4 words? I think you’re reading more into the text than is there.
Second and MUCH more importantly… listen to Debbie. Debbie clearly knows what she’s talking about. You DO talk about them differently and the outsiders looking in are all shaking their heads wondering, “Why can’t Kat just walk away from Date #7 already?” I’m sure he’s very nice in his own special way. But not for you. There’s no “there” there, honey. Just let him go.
I was dating two guys at the same time when I met my husband. He was also dating someone else at the time. He and I had met online (on a writer’s site where I was a moderator) and chit chatted for months … I thought he was a nice grandfatherly guy, and he thought I was a well-spoken young lady (heh) … when we discovered we only lived 20 miles apart, he invited me out to lunch. I considered us friends and we were meeting in a public place, so … why not?
Well, we met for lunch … which turned into dinner and even after we talked pretty late into the night, sitting in my car by the Manasquan inlet with coffee. The rest, as they say, was history. I broke up with the two gentlemen I’d been seeing; unbeknownst to me, he broke up with the woman he’d been dating … not because anything was hot and heavy right off the bat, but because there was something unmistakeably THERE that we hadn’t expected, especially given the difference in our ages.
All I’m saying here, chickie, is … there’s not a thing wrong with dating two guys … you just never know what’s next anyway. Just roll with it, and enjoy the ride. Remember, it’s about the journey after all, and you’re still sightseeing.
I always knew I liked you as a mentor 🙂
@Canti, I just realized who you are 😉 Hope all is well!
It seems that Date 7 is so much more interested in you now that The Wedding Date is in the mix. It could be that this is his wake-up call, but really, he stood you up when he came to visit, and didn’t make much of an effort when you came to visit. Now he wants to get in the game? I’m with Debbie and aka gringita! 🙂
I’m old now, and I get confused. Date #7 is the no-phone-charger guy, right? When phone chargers are everywhere? And probably a land line, too, in Philadelphia. Why is he around still?
Yeah, my menopause seems to get in the way when I hear about him too…but sadly since I understand how her mind works…it’s like ground hog day for me
Yeah, I’m going with all the other girls and saying just let go of Date #7. The wedding date sounds like he really cares for you, SHOWS he cares for you, he’s sweet, kind, and nice, plus you got a ton of information about Star Wars to impress him with! Anyways, I know your date is fantastic with the wedding date and keep us updated, like always!
I am still pulling for Date #6, the dark horse! I have to support a nice boy from Northeast Philly. And, actually, my runner-up is Date #7. I think he challenges you in a sort-of interesting way. (Don’t kill me, Landlord! 🙂 )
Since no one is pulling for this poor guy, I say:
MARRY #7!!! Think about it: he’s number frickin’ seven! How lucky would that be?
Yep, you should just marry the dude and get it over with, no sense in waiting around with this other loser who (albeit a Star Wars fan, which is cool) is clearly mistreating you by being awesome.
(Note to everyone but Kat: I’m trying reverse psychology!)
Kat, this isn’t a trick. Marry him.
“(And no, The Wedding Date does not get dressed up and go to conferences. Have a little faith in me!)” That’s a relief, you had me concerned there for a moment! Also, drop Date #7, and kiss the Wedding Date happy new year (just remember not to eat in his living room).
Asking someone to the family Christmas dinner seems a bit … presumptuous. Nice gesture if someone is away from their family over the season, but in this instance it seems odd.
Everyone else has already said this, but yeah… You even made #7’s text message something it wasn’t. If you consistently — and it has been consistent — need to make excuses for someone and glamorize things he says, just be prepared to do that for the rest of your life if you end up together. At this point, I think he just wants to win (after all, the blog has kind of made this an out-and-out competition, has it not?).
Then again, you should probably disregard everything I say since I have to be biased towards Star Wars geeks…
excellent post i’m a huge keno player from sweden
I’d have to examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a post that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!
You’re welcome– thanks for stopping by!