Too Hot to Handle

Tonight’s date is going to be hot.  Super hot.  I’m wearing—actually, I probably shouldn’t tell you because there’s a good chance you’re reading this at work and I don’t want anyone getting all hot and bothered on my account…

At any rate, I’m heading over The Wedding Date’s as soon as we finish parent/teacher conferences at The School.  Parent/teacher conferences can be pretty damn depressing when you teach for a Head Start program in north Philly.  (For those of you tuning in from across the pond, Head Start is for “vulnerable” low-income children, and north Philly… well let’s just say I was pretty damn freaked out when the bus broke down last year and the driver made us all get out and wait on the sidewalk.)

The conferences are spread out over three weeks; this means that I’ll be done being depressed about the state of the world and everything my little beach balls are up against just in time for Christmas (at which point all the radio stations will be playing that “Feed the World” song at regular intervals and I’ll end up bawling my eyes out all over again).  Needless to say, I will be in dire need of a night off by the time tonight rolls around.

Which is why The Wedding Date and I have planned something really hot.

Really sexy.

So sexy that I almost can’t bear to tell you.


(You should probably read this in private.)

We’re going to see Happy Feet Two.

Happy Feet 2

Hard to get much sexier than these little guys...

That’s right: we’re going to spend our wild-and-crazy Friday night at the movie theater like a couple of kindergarteners watching a bunch of animated, tap dancing-penguins overcome a “dire new threat” to the “penguin nation.”

At least, that was the original plan.  The Wedding Date just informed me that the last showing of Happy Feet Two is at 5:00pm.  (Which is total ageism if you ask me.  It’s not my fault that we both have jobs, as opposed to bedtimes and coloring books and cheerios to attend to.  The producers should have done some better market research—I mean, who can resist the appeal of a tap dancing penguin?)

I would like to point out that I’m not the one who wants to see Happy Feet Two.  It’s really the Wedding Date who wants to see Happy Feet Two, I’m just telling people it’s me so that he’ll be able to survive the entire ordeal with his manhood intact.

(Okay, that’s not entirely true… but it’s true enough.)

At this point it looks like we may have to try another theater—one that does not discriminate based on age and naptimes and shows Happy Feet Two beyond 5:00pm—and if this happens, our evening may go from rated G to rated… well, at the very least PG13.

This is because The Wedding Date is concerned about me driving home late at night.  He’s under the impression that I suffer from both narcolepsy and a terrible sense of direction (God only knows why… it’s not like I blog about getting lost all the time or text him whenever it’s cold and rainy with an uber-sexy message conveying my desire to take a nap…).

He’s invited me to stay the night, and even though I’ve assured him that the hour and a half drive from his place to mine is “no big deal” he’s urged me to pack my overnight bag “just in case.”

Well now.

If I miss tomorrow morning’s post, you’ll know why.

12 Responses to “Too Hot to Handle”

  1. Zak

    I haven’t seen the original Happy Feet, but to answer the question: I would love a tap dancing penguin. I enjoyed Mr. Popper’s Penguins with Ms. D and the kids.

  2. Kara

    Sweet! I loved happy feet 1 and I’m sure the second one will also be great. And honestly, there is nothing more awesome than being able to be a kid again with a guy who doesn’t find that corny. Love this date 🙂 Excited to hear all about it, either tomorrow morning or a bit later if things go that way…. 🙂

  3. stevesw

    Nothing wrong with a fun movie. Sunday, on my choice, my date and I are going to see ‘Puss In Boots.’ ‘Happy Feet Two’ was my second choice.

  4. amanda

    If Happy Feet 2 doesn’t work out, there’s always the Muppet movie…which I’m totally seeing this weekend 🙂

  5. Grey Goose, Dirty

    Sounds like a fun night! Not particularly the movie, but the slumber party part. 😉 Have a great time and yeah……you should probably stay over. Above all else, remember those ever important rules of thumb when staying the night at a new man’s place for the 1st time……. be safe, have fun and for god’s sake, no cookies in the living room!!!

  6. Kate Ferguson Writes

    That’s just the tip of the iceberg of dates! Everything about this arranagement sounds SO promising! Please don’t leave us all on a cliffhanger when you blog about it in installments! Can’t wait to read all about it.

  7. awindram

    So let’s get this right, The Muppets is on general release and he wants to see Happy Feet 2? Puss n Boots even I could understand as it has some lolcat funniness to it. I watched the first Happy Feet on a plane and it was terrible and I’m someone who would happily admit that some of my favorite films of the last few years have been animated children’s movies. First Star Wars and now Happy Feet – this is worrying. I, at least, had the decency to wait until I was engaged before I inflicted my Dr Who obsession on my other half.


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