Writing left handed

A Potential Faux Pas of Epic Proportions

Black tie weddingDid I mention that tomorrow’s wedding is black tie?

Well, it is.

At least Date #7 thinks it is.  I’m planning to bring a change of clothes just in case because men are generally clueless about these sorts of things and Date #7… well, he’s more clueless that most when it comes to weddings, not to mention all of the associated logistics that are, from the female perspective, rather important.

The initial conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Your brother’s wedding?  Sure.  When is it?

Him: I don’t remember… sometime in October.

Me: Okay… well let me know.

Him: I will.

Me: I’ll need to ask off from rehearsal.  And figure out what to wear.  It’s not black tie, is it?

Him: No.  I don’t think so.

Me: You don’t think so?

Him: No.

Me: Well can you check?

Him: I will.

Me: Ask your mom.  She’ll know.

An hour later, my cell phone rings again.  It’s him.

“I asked my mom.”


“It’s formal.”


I was initially thrilled to hear this because the word “formal” opens up a whole host of previously unconsidered wardrobe options… provided, of course, that Date #7 actually knows what he talking about.  (And seeing as he forgot the date of the wedding and gave me the wrong address for tonight’s rehearsal dinner, I’m not sure that he does).

I thought about sending a Facebook message to the bride to confirm that the wedding is in fact black tie—you know, something nice and friendly like: Hey there!  You have no idea who I am but I’ve been quasi-dating you’re fiancé’s brother for the past few months, and he is, as you might have gathered by now, a bit absent minded about some things…  Before I show up to your wedding on Saturday in a floor-length gown only to discover that everyone else is sporting cocktail attire, can you please confirm that your wedding is indeed black tie?  PS: While we’re on the subject, you do know that I’m coming, right?

I imagine the only thing worse than walking into a semi-formal wedding in formal attire is walking into a semi-formal wedding in formal attire only to discover that your date has neglected to inform the bride of your attendance and your name’s not on the seating chart… but I don’t want to seem neurotic, so I’m keeping my “friendly little message” to myself.

Instead, I’ve decided to simply stash a spare semi-formal dress in the trunk of my car and change in the parking lot if I have to.  I’m hoping, however, that it doesn’t come to that because one of the two gowns I’m deciding between is freakin’ stunning  and it’s debut at a friend’s wedding a few years ago was rather lackluster so I’d really like to give it another chance…

Wish me luck!  And in the mean time, I’m finding myself in dire need of amusement today so its your turn: any embarrassing overdressed/underdressed faux pas to share?

10 Responses to “A Potential Faux Pas of Epic Proportions”

  1. Chicago-Style Girl

    I’m almost always over-dressed. I’m like Barney Stinson who’s always in his suit. So no extraordinary stories here. But my wedding is in February, and now I’m thinking of the possibilities of people showing up underdressed to my formal wedding. Maybe I’ll have a third-person story for you in four months.

  2. Philly Tap Teaser

    I think bringing the spare cocktail dress is a great idea. I doubt many ladies will heed the ‘formal’ notice, (if it even exists), and will actually wear formal, floor-length gowns. Well, there will probably be a mixture. When I think formal, I don’t necessarily think floor-length.

  3. amanda

    I was a bridesmaid in one of my oldest friend’s weddings ten years ago, and the groom’s family had some…interesting ideas of what wedding attire should be. I saw several in jeans and beat up sneakers. I hated them on sight, if only because I was stuck wearing 4 inch heels for the entire thing.

  4. stevesw

    While in college, I was invited to a formal at an out of town college. I arrive to pick her up at her dorm, and she surprises me by wanting to eat first, but had not made any plans. She knew I would be making a two hour drive after I got off of work, and had to change into the tux at work. No problem, I always wear a tux to eat at a Denny’s; kind of felt junior promish.

  5. Jenn

    Last month I flew to Florida for a wedding at Disney. Somewhere in my excitement to be going on a mini-vacation in warm weather (it was quite cold in Toronto in September) I decided to pack my best summer dresses not really thinking about the Disney environment. Needless to say, aside from being the only single female in the wedding group, with no available men in sight, I spent the majority of time at Disney pulling at and adjusting my short, fun, and slightly revealing wardrobe choices. Oops.

  6. Lost in France

    All this focus on the dress for the big day, do I understand correctly that you have withdrawn from the rehearsal dinner. If I have interpreted that correctly then wise move.
    What ever you wear I’m sure you will look great. I’m impressed that you are looking to recycle a dress, i though occasions like this were valid excuses for shopping

  7. Of High Heels and Mudslides (and no, I’m not talking about the drink) | After I Quit My Day Job

    […] A Potential Faux Pas of Epic Proportions (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com) Spread the love!FacebookFacebookTwitterStumbleUponRedditDiggEmailPrintLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Philadelphia and tagged Groomsman, humor, match.com, postaday2011, Relationships, Style Network, Tyler Arboretum, Weddings. Bookmark the permalink. ← (Thank Goodness for) The Rehearsal Dinner […]

  8. becky119

    Hmm…well let’s see. Our friends Pete & Emily tied the knot fairly recently. I ordered a custom-made dress from China because…well, I’m a little crazy and I was on ebay. It’s a gorgeous strapless chocolate dress with sequins all over the place in a mermaid style. I even was able to find the perfect shoes to match. I show up in my gown, and the only one fancier than me was the bride. They got married in a barn. And they didn’t have bathrooms…only porta-potties. Call me picky, but I won’t go in one of those. I don’t care how fancy it may be. So I held it for several hours and almost died. That was an awkward occasion anyway…too many people whom Adam and I don’t particularly care for in one room.

    Last year right around this time actually we went to his cousin’s wedding. It was supposed to be on top of a mountain, a ski resort. Very nice place. I have this great midnight blue halter dress, floor length that is really thin. But it’s beautiful so I wore it. THE WEDDING WAS OUTSIDE!!!! It’s was a beautiful ceremony, but seriously, if you’re getting married outdoors, that should be on the invitation. I ended up blowing $100 to buy a coat from a ski shop so I didn’t freeze to death at the ceremony. Thankfully everything moved indoors afterwards. But still…that was one cooooold night.


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