Last night I made a whole wheat chicken pot pie. What relevance does this have to online dating? A lot, actually.
You see, I’d have made the perfect upper-class Victorian housewife. I can sew, I’m actually fairly decent at embroidery and I’m an above-average arranger of flowers (I’d say “excellent” but my mom went to school for floral design and my attempts never quite measure up). I excel at all things decorative, as illustrated by the phenomenal Latin Fiesta my flat mates and I threw in London a few years back, but cooking? Well, cooking isn’t exactly my forte.
(Which is why I said I’d have made the perfect upper-class Victorian housewife; upper-class housewives need only to plan the menu and supervise its execution.)
I love to bake—in fact, last night I decided to try a little experiment with the left over pie crust (half of which I did actually make from scratch) and the results were quite delectable if I do say so myself. (Then again, it’s hard to go wrong with frozen raspberries, chocolate shaving, vanilla, nutmeg and cinnamon.) I went through a brief apple pie kick in college, then fudge, then cheesecake, then biscotti, then cinnamon buns from scratch and finally, upon moving home from London, I decided I’d bake each of the cookies from the chocolate recipe book my then-boyfriend had given me as a parting gift and mail them to him at biweekly intervals. I only got as far as the first chapter (this was the boyfriend who didn’t bother to send a Christmas card, let alone a gift) and after that, the whole metric conversion didn’t seem worth the effort.
Cooking, however, is an entirely different matter.
Here is a complete list of meals I know how to make:
- Chicken Pot Pie
- Peanut Satay Chicken
- Pasta with leeks and pancetta
- Lasagna (in theory… as in I could, if I wanted to do)
- Stir Fry
(And it’s taken me a good five minutes to generate this list so I do believe it to be true and accurate representation of my domestic prowess.)
I figure these eight meals will take me through about two months of wedded bliss, provided I marry a man who enjoys cooking (and brings to the marriage an impressive eight-meal repertoire of his own), loves leftovers and enjoys going out.
After that, we’d have to buy a cook book. Or take a cooking class together. Or hire a professional chef. Or get divorced.
And this, dear readers, is where we stumble upon the crux of today’s post: I’m not ready to get married. Not in the slightest.
Granted, no one is really ready to get married (necessity is the mother of invention, after all) and if the bridal shower I attended this past summer is any indication, I’ll definitely acquire more than my fair share of cook books before the big day… but still: I’m 26 and I don’t even know how to cook a roast! I still don’t know how my flat mates managed to avoid poisoning our guests when we decided to host a Thanksgiving Dinner—complete with turkey—during our junior year of college. Clearly it was some sort of pre-Christmas miracle.
It’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity to learn; my mom’s a great cook and is always offering to teach me things but I’m generally more interested in new cheesecake recipes, or dipping things in chocolate. Maybe this will change if/when I do finally tie the knot but here’s hoping that day is still a ways off because as of right now, I’m woefully unprepared.
Feel free to share any non-eggplant recipes to help me expand my repertoire. (I detest eggplant.) Or, alternatively, let me know if you have any sort of fast track methods for becoming an upper-class Victorian housewife.
PS: Don’t forget to vote! One quick click 🙂