Writing left handed

Today’s Catch: Plenty of Fish from the Jersey Shore

Jersey ShoreWhen I signed up for Plenty of Fish back in March, it took me about 0.00023 seconds to realize that I ought to set up a new email address—one that did not contain my full name, for starters—so I registered for a new Gmail account.

Now, I’ve been done with Plenty of Fish for months, but Plenty of Fish is like that ex-boyfriend who just won’t let go.  I still haven’t managed to delete my account, which means I still get emails from hopeful Fishes on a daily—sometimes hourly—basis.

Today’s catch included:

(And no, I’m not making these up…)










Let’s start with JerseyBoy7883, shall we?  Having spent the majority of my childhood in the great state of New Jersey, I could technically call myself a “Jersey girl” but I don’t—because when it comes to online dating, you’re supposed to put your best foot forward and there’s a reason why New Jersey is oft-referred to as the “armpit of America.”  (And why shows such as Jersey Shore boast an all-star cast of obnoxious imbeciles.)

Being from New Jersey isn’t something to be proud of.  In fact, it’s one of those things that you shouldn’t even reveal until a third or fourth date.

Next up: Ebonyhardgold.  Clearly Ebonyhardgold has yet to learn the art of subtlety.  I mean what kind of woman would even respond to a man who engages in such blatant advertising?  I’m extremely curious, so if anyone of you reading this has ever received (and responded to) a message from a man with a name like Ebonyhardgold, do tell.

I feel like Cornbread_wings might be okay.  With a name like that, he probably doesn’t take himself too seriously (most likely because he’s too busy taking his soul food seriously).

MasterX2 sounds like some sort of S&M thing, or perhaps a video game?  As for DaWeaselDavey… do you really want to date someone who calls himself a weasel?  Methinks not.

I haven’t logged onto Plenty of Fish in months and I’m afraid to because the moment I do, my account will appear “active” again and I’ll start receiving actual messages from men like Spiritual_Warrior and HardTrailXC.  (Right now, I just get automated emails from Plenty of Fish that say “So-and-so wants to meet you!”)  As such, I have no idea what any of these men event looks like, what they do for a living, where they live and whether or not they can string together a complete sentence.

My loss, I suppose.

Or not.  We’re always told you can’t judge a book by its cover but if that we’re the case the publishing industry wouldn’t employ, you know, actual professionals to design book jackets.  I think the same goes for online dating: you shouldn’t just a man by his “cover” but most of us do, so why not make that cover (ie. your screen name) something that doesn’t scream “I’m a major tool”?

CBSJust sayin’…

PS: Don’t forget to cast your vote.

10 Responses to “Today’s Catch: Plenty of Fish from the Jersey Shore”

  1. Jenny Rebecca Winters

    I beg your pardon, my friend…I’ve spent over 30 years of my life in Jersey and, like any Jerseyite, protest that There Are Nice Places! And we don’t say “joisey” either.

    That having been said, I spent a wonderful 10 years of my life in the Midwest, West and abroad, before returning to the *sigh, ok* armpit of America.

    Still…you’re right. Why advertise your Tool? 🙂

  2. Chauffeur

    I agree with J.R.W., NJ does have have an undeserved reputation and there are some wonderful places and many wonderful people, yet the “armpit” areas and the imbecilic (is that a word) residents seem to get all the press.
    What I find really troubling and why NJ has this poor reputation is these areas, these stories, and these idiots….. are celebrated. It seems too many Jerseyians don’t see any of this as a problem, sort of in the same way many narrow minded red neck types, relish in their narrow-mindedness and blissful ignorance.

    • Landlord

      Because celebrating and embracing the good has been deemed unworthy of news coverage and nonsense/fear sells, because too many people BUY it…cheap, quick and easy to exploit, that’s the ticket to success–sigh…yes, I’m feeling my years this morning. NJ has some of the most wonderful quiet places, like the Pine Barrens, semi-decent beaches (although one has to pay to go to them), a little corner of the Appalachian MT and many wonderful small towns with historic significance, but alas, they are not what anyone thinks about when they think of “what exit” are you?

  3. Katie

    I hated Plenty of Fish. Past tense- I didn’t last long on there. I got a ton of messages, more than on any other site, but they were all from really sketchy guys. My friend who’s a lesbian said even the girls on that site were sketchy. It seems like when it comes to the free sites, the awkward people go to OKCupid and the sketchy people go to Plenty of Fish. I’ll stick with awkward, thank you.

  4. Lost in France

    So the question is then, what does make a good screen name, one to entice you to at least respond.

    And if you answer that it should simply say something such as “date #7” I’ll scream

    • Kat Richter

      Haha– I did just receive a “so-and-so wants to meet you” from a man who calls himself “EuropeanNobleGuy.” Definitely piqued my interest but I didn’t bother to click (methinks “Noble” Europeans probably don’t do Plenty of Fish…lol!)

  5. awindram

    Spiritual_Warrior sounds good. I imagine he’ll be handy come the End Times, a pretty desirable trait in any potential partner.


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