Here’s something I don’t get: why don’t men wear engagement rings? I know that a diamond is meant to symbolize the man’s financial wherewithal (the rational being if he can’t afford a diamond, he can’t afford a family) but it seems like a double standard, especially in this day and age.
A man can walk into a bar, size up the clientele and immediately deduce who’s is available and who’s not. (What he chooses to do with this information, of course, is entirely up to him.) The fairer sex, by contrast, is left in the dark.
It’s hard enough to tell if a guy’s married when you’re dealing with men who don’t wear wedding bands. It gets harder still when you throw a European into the mix: do you check the left hand or the right? And gold wedding bands tend to blend in with most skin tones. I go back and forth on the whole white gold vs. yellow gold debate for myself but for men, I’m all for platinum-colored bands. Why? They stand out. They stand out and proclaim, “Back off, b*tch, this one’s taken!”
The worst complication, however, is the fact that men don’t traditionally wear engagement rings. At least not in the western world (is there somewhere that they do? If so, I am ignorant of the fact and would greatly appreciate any light you care to shed on the subject). You can never tell if a guy’s engaged and since there are plenty of men out there who aren’t particularly thrilled by the thought of monogamy, they’re usually more than happy to engage in a bit of flirtatious banter while you wallow in confusion.
I recently met a man who was rather nice looking and rather friendly and we found ourselves chatting during various coffee breaks throughout the course of the morning. During our third conversation, he rather deftly worked the word “fiancé” into the conversation.
Now I love a good proposal story as much as the next one but he was not asking me to be his fiancé; he was informing me of the existence of his fiancé. Not overtly, not embarrassingly, but simply and honesty without skipping a beat in the conversation.
Granted, I was too hung up on the “f” word (I’ll leave you to decide which “f” word I’m referring to) to hear the next few sentences out of his mouth but as we continued chatting, I found myself smiling. Good boy, I thought. Smart boy. There are a few decent men left in the world.
(And for the record, I wasn’t throwing myself at him; I was simply networking, albeit a little more enthusiastically than I’d generally “network” with a member of my own sex.)
Unfortunately, few men are this forthright. And this, dear readers, is why I think the less-forthright amongst you ought to wear engagement rings. It would make things a lot easier for the rest of us.
PS: I’m totally open to a more masculine version of the engagement ring; perhaps an engagement tattoo or a simple rubber band?
PPS: I forgot to mention that I’ve a new post up over at Too Darn Hot and as you’ll see, things are indeed heating up but for all the wrong reasons. Please take a look and VOTE! (There’s a poll, involving me in fishnets; what’s not to love?)