There is a fine line between romance and desperation. I know this not only because I’ve crossed it on more than one occasion but because I seem to be drawn to men who do the same. In response to a post I wrote last weekend (Would YOU date me?), a certain gentleman from the Virgin Islands dubbed me “incredibly romantic.” He’s right: I know it may seem as though I’ve become completely crass in my search for love but this is hardly the entire story.
When the email first arrived, my heart skipped a beat. It contained an attachment, the attachment a photograph and the photograph an entire page of handwritten prose; in essence, it was a love letter for the digital age.
Being the sensible girl that I am, I replied in kind: an entire page in my journal filled with my tight black script, a quick click of my camera phone and an email.
This went on for some time and I began to look forward to these letters like a lovesick teenager. (Words have always been my downfall.)
I ignored all of the red flags, and yes, there were many:
You’ve never even met!
Doesn’t he have something better to do than hang around drinking martinis, chronicling their consumption and emailing you the results?
Isn’t this a bit… unhealthy? You fall in love before you should easily enough on your own; you don’t need any help from a fellow romantic to abandon all sense of propriety of good judgment.
Was it lovely? Yes. Was it healthy? No.
Fortunately the man to which I’m referring was not Date #7. (What a relief, right? I bet I had you worried for a minute there. You were probably sitting in front of your computer, sipping your morning coffee, all the while wondering “When’s the girl ever gonna learn? She’s gonna screw it up with this guy too!” Well, don’t you worry: T-11 days until his arrival in Philadelphia; I can keep my romantic notions in check for at least another week.)
Rather, it was someone I encountered earlier this year with whom I subsequently (and perhaps not unsurprisingly) did not live happily ever after.
For all of the men out there, I’ve got to say the whole notebook-love-letter-photographs-email thing was one of the best “moves” I’ve ever encountered. It was sweet and sexy—very Jane Austen if I dare say— and I’d encourage all of you try it.
That is, if you’re already in a relationship.
If you’re not, hold off because really, it’s a disaster waiting to happen—one which I intend to avoid this time around.