Writing left handed

New Month? New Men!

online dating

You know you’ve gone a bit too public with your love life when a family friend pulls a hamburger off the grill on Labor Day and asks, “So Kat, what’s up with Date #4?”

I have since decided that it’s time to commence Round Two.  I’m not exactly sure what this will entail (What is up with Date #4?  And do I tell my new “friend” across the state, “I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work?”  Should I forget all about my fairytale picnic with Date #5 and quit angling for one final Rittenhouse rendezvous before he moves to New York?)  I’m not really sure but the way I see it, it’s a new month and therefore it’s time for new men.

I’m a big fan of alliteration and when I was thinking what to re-name my blog, the words “Thirty Dates in Three Months” came to mind.  Perfect!  But then I did the math and realized that I’d have to go on ten dates a month in order for this to happen, which works out to one every three days.  Impossible!

Who has the time for a date every three days?  That’s just as bad as… well, as having an actual boyfriend!  And so, for the sake of my more sensible goals in life, I scratched the Thirty Dates in Three Months idea.

But then I counted the collection of sticky tabs above my desk and realized that I did manage eight first dates for August.  That’s just two shy of the required ten to get to thirty by the time my Match.com subscription runs out.   I could make up for lost time in September.  I could re-write my profile, post some new pictures and start this insanity all over again (aka Round Two).

But being the diligent researcher that I am, I feel I ought to offer some “analysis” of Round One before I proceed (learn from my mistakes and all that jazz).  Plus I’ve received several questions along the lines of “What happened to so-and-so?” over the past few weeks so I might as well come clean.

Date #1 (Salsa and sangria) has been in touch a few times to tell me he likes my blog but I’m never sure if he’s being sarcastic or not.

Date #2 (Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome) keeps telling me he’s going to take me out to dinner for my birthday but I’ve been 25 for almost a month now so I’m not holding my breath.

Date #3 (Swan boats and more sangria) emailed me a few weeks ago to “opt out” of my “experiment,” claiming that he didn’t like the competitive aspect of dating Yours Truly.  Fair enough.  I’m rather uncomfortable with the reality show connotations myself.

Date #4 (He who wears cufflinks) and I seemed to have reached a bit of an impasse.  By my count, we’ve been on five dates but the last of these ran its course after exactly 43 minutes.  I’m no expert but this fact, coupled with the fact that we’ve not spoken all week (and that I tend to be rather irrational when we do speak), does not bode well.

Date #5 (Picnic in the park) is moving to New York, plain and simple.  In hindsight, he always seemed a bit too good to be true.  I couldn’t find his fatal flaw, and guys without fatal flaws make me uncomfortable.

Date #6 (the non date) will, I suspect, be one of the few new “friends” with whom I actually remain friends.  I’m still mad that he couldn’t hack into Temple’s course registration system on my behalf but he’s a cool guy so I suppose I forgive him.

Date #7 (my “friend” across the state) is rather deep.  He likes discussing soul mates and this we have done, through various mediums (including our phone “date” two weeks ago) for the past month.  But it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.  I can only talk about soul mates for so long (and as far as I’m concerned, a girl who blogs about her love life has no business becoming anyone’s soul mate.  Not until she’s gotten this whole Philadelphia flirting frenzy out of her system).

Date #8… well, the best that can be said about Date #8 is that afterwards, I went to the library and found a lovely book about Oxford (which, in turn, gave me some insight about finishing my lovely book about Oxford).  As for the date itself?  I’ve been trying to erase it from my memory ever since.

So there you have it folks.  A new month, a new—ooh!  There goes my cell phone.  It’s Date #9.  Stay tuned.

123 Responses to “New Month? New Men!”

  1. Gail

    Thanks for the recap of dates 1-8. It sounds like time for the second session to begin. Hummm, The second session’s sizzling scoop 🙂

    • David & Antonia

      This is what true life is and true love. http://www.forantonia.com

      To me, THIS is the fairytale. I am blessed with a beautiful and kind wife. Life does not come in some well wrapped pretty present. If you can find some guy to stick with you and be by your side no matter what. Then you have truly found someone.

      a husband in love

  2. lifeintheboomerlane

    Wow, this is a great project. I wrote a six piece series about my friend Susan and her dating misadventures, called “Sex and the Sixty (Year Old).” She is still trying to recover.

  3. The Social

    I happened upon you blog by chance. I like it.

    I just recently ended things with a girl in Texas before moving to Colorado for work… it was easier to get over her than expected, but finding someone new has proved especially difficult.

    I look forward to reading more of your adventures.

  4. Heart

    You sound so genuine and down-to-earth! Such a beautiful post, trust me, it is the date’s bad luck if he doesn’t pick you!!

    Go on girly girl!!
    Yay for you 🙂

  5. rain2rainbows

    Ha! Its like the Television Without Pity recaps.. but for dating… Dating Without Pity. I love it!

    I *almost* wish I was single so I could torture my (3) friends who follow my blog with something like this. Right now though, I don’t think: Knitting-on-the-too-slow-bus-into-the-city-everyday-without-pity blogroll will generate much buzz. le sigh.

    Carry on!

    • poetgranny

      Cute response! I’ll check out your blog. And you never know, the city bus could offer a wealth of writing adventures. Good luck!

  6. jswesner

    I would have loved to have done this experiment last fall when I was dating like a mad woman. I got sick of the craziness of dating. Started focusing on other things. I’ll get back into it again. 🙂

  7. Catherine

    Love this! I totally think you should take a shot at Thirty Dates in Thirty Days. It’s very catchy. At the worst, you fail a bit. But have fun in the process. I’m in the midst of the Year of Yes … doing my very best to say yes to pretty much every date that comes my way (haha, like the use of “very best” and “pretty much”? Gives me an out on the Year of Yes when I REALLY don’t want to go out with someone or if I just want to stay home in my PJs instead). I can tell you, it can be exhausting being on, engaging, charming, fun, funny, pretty, blah blah blah all the time. Dating is hard work, but someone has to do it.

    Love the blog, congrats on being Freshly Pressed and I’ll be following your journey! Catherine http://simplysolo.wordpress.com

  8. jeanbarker

    I’m impressed that you have the courage to do this… I find dates scarier than job interviews and haven’t actually tried one for ages – let alone done it and blogged it too. I tend to work backwards when it comes to men. You know, start with the sex and then keep going until it’s like we don’t acknowledge that we ever met. It’s one way to do it! But I have to admit, it doesn’t WORK.

  9. johansenquijano

    You and the female power ladies who follow your blog and talk about how awesome it is just gave the male population the right to brag about how many women they have had sex with (which is, literally, the male equivalent of dating for those of you females who still do not comprehend the diminutive narrow-minded male brain) and tell women who then complain about being treated like objects to shut up and bugger off. I used to wonder (still do) why can’t men simply appreciate women, date them (or do whatever), and be content in the unshared knowledge that they got to do X with so and so person. Now I’m starting to wonder the same about you women.

  10. G

    Your funny. Wanna date in Montreal? I hesitated since I could too perfect for you.. hum, not sure… Btw, would a foreign date count as a full number? half of it? or with a X factor, more like, date #5 3/4?


    • Kat Richter

      Actually G, I’ve been there, done that! My first boyfriend was from Montreal so I spent many a Christmas trekking through the snow– it remains one of my favorite cities, however, so if I can figure out how to work an international date into my numerical system, you’ll be first in line 😉 And maybe you could pick of a few imperfections between now and then?

  11. cocktailsattiffanys

    Love the idea, but why are you telling these guys about your project? As much as we all think men are heartless assholes, they have a fear of being used just like we do.



    • Kat Richter

      You’re right… it’s sticky to say the least. After much deliberation (and research about dating blogs, actually) I figured it was better to be upfront about it than to have someone find out after the fact… especially because I HAVE encountered several non-heartless you-know-whats along the way.

  12. mct88

    My problems is stumbling across boys when they ‘appear’ to be men. Ugh, I suppose I will sign up for one of these things before I hit 30 and think of something catchy to keep myself entertained…

    Good luck with your experiments!

  13. The Ignorant Bystander

    Very interesting idea and blog. You do a great job of summing what each date is all about in just a few words, doesn’t sound like you’re having much luck though. I just wonder how “interesting” people would find it if it was a guy assigning numbers to women? I bet the sentiment would be a little different, well especially since the blogosphere is inhabited by a great percentage of females! LOL!

    • Kat Richter

      I know, I know… the numbers thing seemed like the most obvious way to protect my dates’ anonymity (as opposed to say using their initials or signature characteristics) but I do realize that it’s a bit dehumanizing 😦 You’re right: there’s definitely a double standard when it comes to this sort of thing but I think the bottom line is that people of either sex should write with both humor AND respect if they decide to write at all. And even though I don’t always succeed, this is what I’m going for. Thanks for your comment.

  14. Vodka and Ground Beef

    I love it. Keep it going. My favorite line: “Who has the time for a date every three days? That’s just as bad as… well, as having an actual boyfriend!”


  15. Azure Finch

    This is fabulous! As someone who is technically “out there” but not actually out there, I really admire you for being so adventurous. You look gorgeous in every picture, too — what amazing fashion sense!

  16. teapotchronicles

    Love the idea. Wouldn’t have the balls to do it, but am thrilled to live vicariously through your blog! 🙂 Best of luck with staying single through all this. 🙂

    • fishmongerairlines

      That’s because craigslist requires diligently reading other postings to make sure the guy you just set up a Sunday afternoon date with didn’t also post an ad of his own asking for girls to come stay in a hotel room with him that weekend, which you then have to prove by having your friend answer the ad and seeing if the email address matches up and then you–or, um, what I meant was…craigslist? Isn’t that site just for weirdos?

  17. charles Gushue

    Yeay Kat! you almost make me want to start a blog, but I don’t think I could possibly be as funny, diligent, or literate as you.

  18. TisWID

    Wow – this is a great idea. I thought of the “52 Week Project” where I date a new man every week, but I think I’d get somewhat bored with it after week six or seven. Kudos to you for this!!! So happy I found your blog.

  19. Evan Wilder

    Congrats on getting so many comments, Kat. It’s ridiculous! Reading your blog gives me insight into women’s dating lives and minds. Wait? You quitted your job?

  20. New Month? New Men! (via After I Quit My Day Job) « money idea Blog

    […] September 7, 2010 by googleworks You know you’ve gone a bit too public with your love life when a family friend pulls a hamburger off the grill on Labor Day and asks, “So Kat, what’s up with Date #4?” I have since decided that it’s time to commence Round Two.  I’m not exactly sure what this will entail (What is up with Date #4?  And do I tell my new “friend” across the state, “I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work?”  Should I forget all about my fairytale picnic with Date #5 an … Read More […]

  21. Evie Garone

    Cute!! Good luck!!! I’m sure it’ll work out for you, you’re so cute & funny there must be guys just dying to meet you!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!! I think I will keep tuned in to see what happens next….


  22. New Month? New Men! (via After I Quit My Day Job) « SangPhlegMelCholic

    […] You know you’ve gone a bit too public with your love life when a family friend pulls a hamburger off the grill on Labor Day and asks, “So Kat, what’s up with Date #4?” I have since decided that it’s time to commence Round Two.  I’m not exactly sure what this will entail (What is up with Date #4?  And do I tell my new “friend” across the state, “I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work?”  Should I forget all about my fairytale picnic with Date #5 an … Read More […]

  23. itsahappyblog

    Fun read! Best to you in your adventures. BTW, I really miss living in Philly. I have been married 5 years now and am finishing out my 30s, but memory serves me well as I follow your post. I’ll be back for updates. Just started my blog today and have been using ‘freshly pressed’ as a kind of how to. Congrats on being fp today.

  24. beyondanomie

    Like the writing style.
    Like the clothes style.

    Dislike the experiment you’re doing; it seems very, well, tiring in more ways than one.

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

  25. ChasingTwenty

    I seriously laughed out loud at Date #4… yikes! Glad you made it to Freshly Pressed or else I may have never stumbled upon your blog! Congrats!

    Staying Tuned 🙂

  26. cupcakenicole


  27. error404ts

    There’s no way that I could divide my attention the way you are so I applaud you for having that kind of energy. Most of the women that I know that date this much are players or looking to be entertained and have their dinners paid for, which only adds to my lack of desire to “date for sport” (as one of my girl friends puts it).

    Best of luck in your adventure!

  28. sauer kraut

    You are not dating; you are just hanging out with a new person every few days. You may find a few interesting people using this method but it seems counterintuitive to finding a long-lasting relationship.

  29. Slamdunk

    Sounds like a busy social calendar, and I hope you have fun with it. I really don’t remember dating–marriage has done that to me.

  30. EmilyConner

    Love this!:) my best friend and i did this kind of thing this summer.
    can i say crazy adventure?haha
    one guy always texts me still, and one date that my friend went on the guy ended up burning her leg with his motorcycle exhaust pipe

    and many other crazy things too haha…

    & to think we just signed up as poor college girls trying to get free dinners haha:)

    good luck girl!

  31. wordofsoia

    Havig to get back onto the dating scene after breaking up from a long term relationship that was extremely complicated, ive totally enjoyed reading your blog all the way here down under in Oz.
    Lets hope *fingers Crossed* That i dont have to start changing my blog to be like yours and catergorise all my potential dates whether they are good or bad haha

  32. mandymcadoo

    You can do it! You could even fit 2 dates in to one day! Early, quick coffee date with one fellow, and dinner later with another. It’s totally do-able! Thirty dates in thirty days! Hurrah!

  33. New Month? New Men! (via After I Quit My Day Job) « Realidad Alternativa

    […] 0 You know you’ve gone a bit too public with your love life when a family friend pulls a hamburger off the grill on Labor Day and asks, “So Kat, what’s up with Date #4?” I have since decided that it’s time to commence Round Two.  I’m not exactly sure what this will entail (What is up with Date #4?  And do I tell my new “friend” across the state, “I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work?”  Should I forget all about my fairytale picnic with Date #5 an … Read More […]

  34. partikal7

    Too many dates = loose woman reputation: watch your step, deary, for men will congregate like the dogs on heat that they can be!
    I sure didn’t burn my bra back in ’71 for this ‘carry-on’.
    My saggy melons are testament to the actions non-bra bearers like myself took to earn virtues of freedom girls like you currently enjoy – so be careful … but do enjoy yourself!

  35. carldagostino

    I envy you and am happy for you that you have a life of youthful social opportunity. You are lucky. This economy is so bad, esp. here in Miami, that a far too many people are just a pay check away from being evicted and better not get sick if they have a job at all. Even if you both can settle for a spectacular Atlantic Ocean sunrise or sunset as a date, the parking fee means you’ll have to skip lunch one day this week. But it still roars at the artsy South Beach scene. Must be foreign tourists and rich athletes and Hollywooders. Take your small family to a Marlins game? Forget it. That’s the electric bill and lots of groceries. At a really cool and hip 61 years old(I mean like Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Doors, Moody Blues, etc.), early retired and out of social and job loop in a community that is 75% foreign born with all the old networks of traditional middle America gone, no date on horizon for me. Well not really. I do get to go out occasionally with my “to die for, cover girl, gonna be a heart breaker,delightful knock out 7 year old granddaughter! I spent a week in Philadelphia 15 years ago. Child, I’ve seen strawberries bigger than that Liberty Bell!

  36. roger9527

    I do not like to be too busy. Maybe you will think that I am a little bit lazy. But that is who I am.

  37. Kimberly

    Nice post! I have a sister just like you in the dating scene and her name is Kat too! She loved your post and said it came at the perfect time as she headed out for a coffee with date #10!

    • Kat Richter

      Brilliant suggestion! Even if you didn’t mean it as such 🙂 I think a new speed dating agency has just opened here in Philly so I might check it out if I need reinforcements…

  38. Date #2 « Slow Down, Son

    […] stage and I’m moving into the god I miss making out so much stage, with inspiration from this blog, I’m going to try blogging about my dating adventures and keep everyone (who cares) […]

  39. Romantic Asian Guy

    Ohh could I be the lucky 100th response?

    Great blog and the title is definitely catchy.

    And remember all you need is that ONE guy to make you feel like going through the 99 others was worth it:)

  40. Mathurini

    Hahaha, I love this! I’m actually going to be hunting around in the dating world pretty soon and this just gave me a huge urge to just do it! Love it! 🙂 Check out my blog when you have a moment, I haven’t blogging on matters of the heart just yet, but travels and fun times are in truckloads!

  41. An Observant Mind

    Loved this! I remember these kinds of adventures well, though you are much more eloquent that I was. My justifications for never “re-dating” were things like; “he has no neck, just a round head that sits directly on his shoulders, surely I cannot be expected to look at that for the rest of my life?” and “He doesn’t use the brake, merely pulls his foot on and off the accelerator causing a weird jerking movement as we drive and giving me motion sickness, this will never work”.

    I appreciate how you articulate your experiences. (oh, and I had a great laugh too!)

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks! I’m currently trying to decide whether or not “he couldn’t remember the word ‘fabric'” constitutes a deal breaker 🙂

  42. An Observant Mind

    If he could come up with ‘material’, ‘fiber’, or ‘textile’, I’d say you’re all good. If ‘cloth’ is the best he can do I’d give him the boot. But that’s just me.

  43. Matt

    While I did enjoy your blog, I’m quite shocked that a woman of your obvious good looks wouldn’t have men at your beck and call…

  44. Shawn

    I’m a fan of the blog. I wanted to know how you added the facebook and email share options at the end of your post. I just put my blog up and i’m looking at pages to make mines better…check it out.

    • Kat Richter

      Goodness Shawn, you know, I don’t even remember! I’m such a technophobe. I think it’s under “settings” and then “sharing” and you can customize which social network options you’d like to display and how you’d like them to look. Good luck!

  45. mairzeebp

    I live not far from the city and am single myself. eHarmony declined my admittance and Match funneled some awfully strange dates my way. Should you ever need someone to speed date with, I’d be game. Provided of course that we met and that neither of us thought the other was weird or at least weird in the bad way…kind of like a Match date :). The last Match date I had which to be honest was a few years ago, told me he wanted to lick my shoes. Not kidding. Just when you think you’ve heard it all… I really enjoyed the post and your blog! Thanks.

  46. boho fangirl

    I applaud you for having the courage about your dates! I would never have the guts to do something so personal so clap! clap! to you.. 😉 and I will definitely stay tuned to your next dating adventures, I do hope you find the right guy to get mushy and sweet with. 🙂

    Visit my blog too! I’m new here and I need views, comments and what-nots! thanks!

  47. y8

    Great shots. I’m in love with the B&W Skull Rock one. You can see so many things in it.

    Thanks for sharing.


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