Thirty First Dates?

After announcing my intention to date thirty men in three months, the words “insane,” “impossible,” and “suicide” came to mind.  Thirty men in three months?  Really?  If I had that sort of luck I wouldn’t be 25 and single in the first place.  Nor would I be cruising Facebook only to find myself green with envy and disappointed when I find another college classmate has gone from “in a relationship” to “engaged.”  And I certainly wouldn’t be sitting at my desk and humming “Another One Bites the Dust” when that same “engaged” becomes “married” a few months later.

To put it frankly, if I was lucky enough to land myself a date with ten men every month, I wouldn’t be on in the first place.

I started thinking that maybe I should set my sights on a more realistic goal, such as finding myself a Plus One for the annual Hooper’s Island Martini Bar Soiree (an event that I believe most families call Thanksgiving).  I was thinking I should cry uncle and give up on this whole online dating experiment—but then I got freshly pressed.

In blog parlance, this means that After I Quit My Day Job was featured in the “Freshly Pressed” section of the WordPress homepage.  This is a major coup in terms of my writing career (a huge thank you to Joy at WordPress and to everyone who was nice enough—or perhaps just bored enough?—to stop by!) but it’s had a rather unexpected side effect.  Instead of announcing my “30 Dates in 3 Months” plan to the two or three hundred people who regularly read my blog, I’ve now gone and told nearly 19,000.

Nineteen thousand. That’s an awful lot of readers to disappoint.

Of course the woman who accused me of being both ignorant and prejudiced in regards to my portrayal of the American south (in response to an old entry from my days at The Shop) won’t be disappointed.  She won’t be back.  Nor, I suspect, will the man who said that women like me (and the “female power ladies” now following my blog) that give men free reign to discuss their “sexploits” and to objectify their female conquests in the process.

My first response was, “Chicken or egg, buddy?”  (Especially because I’m not even talking about sex.)  My second response was, “Hmm… two wrongs don’t make a right.”  My third and final response, however, was to stop concentrating on the negative vibes brought in by Freshly Pressed and to start concentrating on the positive props from my new peeps.

(And yes, I’ve just added “Coming up with cool gangsta rap names” to my list of hobbies on

Thanks to my new homeboys and girls, I’m no longer thinking that this whole 30-Dates-in-3-Months idea is “impossible.”  Insane yes, but not impossible.  I’m now thinking I can do this and while we’re on the subject, yes, Nice French Speaking Lady, my outfit for Date #5 was tres adorable, wasn’t it?

I’ve never thought of myself as particularly “brave,” “inspiring,” “funny” or “energetic” (really, me?  Energetic?  I could nap for all of Nigeria and according to the trusty World Population Map that hangs above my bed Nigeria has a population of 141 million!).  According to yesterday’s comments, however, I’m all of the above.

Having earned myself such a fabulous (albeit bizarre) reputation, I’m going to do my best to uphold it: 30-Dates-in-3-Months, here I come!  Wish me luck.  Or if you’re a man between the ages of 25 and 35 living within a ten mile radius of Philadelphia, take cover.

31 Responses to “Thirty First Dates?”

  1. Goose

    Looking forward to following the journey! And… You never know. Right?

    Good luck!!

    Goose x

  2. CM

    hey girl… a little while back I had caught on one of those travel and living shows , a lady who goes about dating 80 odd men across the world , in search of ‘the one’. She was truly my hero. and now , i hope you know you are on your way to become the poster girl for millions of singles across the world ! And as a happily married person who’s bordering on the big 3 – 0 .. that almost spells out as ‘ah! some people have all the luck’.
    love your blog and am on a look out to read more about your quest to find Mr Right – Now who eventually graduates to Mr Right 🙂

    • Kat Richter

      The lady was Jennifer Cox, her book was “Around the World in Eighty Dates” and she is kind of my idol 🙂 Of course I’d like to skip the unhappy break up that prompted her story… but thanks for stopping by and happy reading!

  3. Serene32

    Go for it! What have you got to lose? A bit of “you” time, a bit of nap time, perhaps a bit of dignity…meh, its all in the name of living life and entertaining your now huge fan base! 😛

    And from a 32 year old regularly “cruising-FB-and-finding-herself-green-with-envy”, I wish I had thought of it 7 years ago when I had the energy to put on mascara and squeeze my aching feet into stilletos more than one or two evenings a week!

    As Goose says, you never know!


  4. Jill

    Can second (or third?) dates count as a date? Or does it have to be 30 First Dates? And, uh, suddenly now a lot more of your time is “billable” to the freelance writer portion of your job description, no? Go, Kat!

    • Kat Richter

      Haha! I’m still working out the “rules” 🙂 I feel like it should be 30 first dates but who knows, I may get a bit… creative, shall we say?… in terms of my numbers as the deadline approaches.

  5. alessandraspeaks

    Dear God, I hope you write a book. You have a Janet Evanovich vibe–her series is hilarious.
    Plus, I am a huge fan and advocate of the female funny. Not many do it well, write on! And good luck.


  6. Tom

    You have a world population map above your bed? I think I might spy the problem!

    • Kat Richter

      You mean guys don’t find socially conscious cartographic renderings sexy? (Not even socially conscious Quaker guys???) Shoot! Now I’m gonna have to redecorate 😦

  7. honnah

    I’m cheering for you, Kat! {I just found you yesterday & am now following your days & dates.} Here’s to happily ever after, or at least great date tonight! 😉

  8. awindram

    When I got Freshly Pressed, I got a particularly snarky comment from an 80 year old blogger. I then had a dilemma of weighing up how to respond. Was it okay to be snarky to an 80 year old woman on the internet even though she started it by being snarky to me? In the end, I decided it was okay to be snarky back at her – and very satisfying it was too.

  9. politeandparanoid

    I saw that dude’s comment yesterday & I totally did NOT understand what he was talking about!! You’re just going on dates and trying to meet people! Maybe he has a fear of women… Keep doing your thing, girl! =D

  10. JennyExiled

    As a seasoned online-dating veteran, I can’t wait to read all about it (yes, I found your blog through “Freshly Pressed” – you’re stuck with me now). Good luck!

  11. theladyofvermont

    Just to make sure that you’re feeling the positive vibes: I found your blog on the Freshly Pressed and am kinda your stalker right now… that might not be a positive vibe… Anyways, go for it!

  12. Georgia Grace

    I stumbled across your blog yesterday via the “Freshly Pressed” tag… after reading the one post I found myself going back to the very beginning and reading most of your blog (hence not much work was done yesterday) and I loved it! You’re a great writer, funny and very engaging! I too have conducted the same little experiment, however, I was not as lucky as you with your dates! You seemed to have gotten a good bunch, Good luck with reaching your milestone of 30 dates! Be safe and have fun along the way!

  13. Catherine

    Good luck, can’t wait to hear all about it! And I’m one of the peeps who only found you because of Freshly Pressed but now I’m a fan 🙂

  14. Ben Jarman

    I wondered why I was suddenly getting 40 emails a day with comments on old posts I commented on a few months back. Way to go, Kat!

    • Kat Richter

      Whoops! Sorry for overwhelming your inbox Ben, but thanks! Now I’ll expect you to weigh in with comments regarding the dating habits of your countrymen 🙂

  15. sarahnsh

    Well, I say good luck, have fun, and keep us posted. I hope that you don’t have too many god awful dates, and if anything, dating definitely can lead to some pretty damn funny stories. Plus, free meals, which you gotta love. 😉

  16. robfreund

    I find your writing style to be entertaining and gripping – I hope you’re able to get a book published (especially since it would give hope to other would-be authors out there like myself)! I am curious though, what’s the goal of this dating experiment? Is it to see if it can be done? Is it out of a general desire to lash out at the digital dating world? Is it to find a soul mate? To just have something to write about?

    I’m looking forward to reading how this all plays out, and if you do actually find someone you’d like to go ‘long term’ with 🙂 Good luck, and keep up the great writing!

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks! And yes, these are all valid questions. I decided to do online dating before I decided to write about online dating but that’s just about all I have figured out so far. A boyfriend would be nice, yes, but I’m beginning to think that 30 first dates might prove mutually exclusive to act of actually finding one!

  17. An Observant Mind

    I have to say after reading (and loving every bit!) your entire blog over the past few days, I think the worse the date experience is for you, the more entertaining it is for us to hear about. Isn’t that the way life always seems to work? Having said that get out there and take 1 (or 30) for the team!
    Who knows, along the way you may find Mr Wonderful, and I suspect if you do and need to cut your little experiment a little short, we’ll all forgive you…who can resist love…especially in its first blossoming stages?
    As an aside, beware…I had a list of “things I will not tolerate in a husband” (gimme a break, I was 29 and unmarried…with a whole lot of very concerned relatives breathing down my neck!) Anyway, on the list was ‘no shorter than 6 ft’ (hes 5′ 9 1/2″ though he claims 5’10” and I let him get away with it) and ‘immediately gets written off if he’s late for a first date’ (which he was and what made it worse was the he was picking me up from the airport) and lastly ‘must be of similar religion’ (he’s Jewish and I’m Christian!)
    Sometimes the heart walks forward while the mind has the gearbox in reverse and the accelerator on the floor! And sometimes, just sometimes…these are the best surprises. Moreover, it makes life more of an adventure I think. Good luck and enjoy the ride!

  18. Setting Lofty Goals | Slow Down, Son

    […] recall – I started with the intent of meeting about one woman per week.  Then, after seeing Kat’s goal of 30 first dates in three months, I decided I could hit 20 first dates in three months.  Turns out, I did quite well (although not […]


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