I am what I like to call an EFFICIENT teeth brusher. I mean why stand there at the bathroom sink when you could be getting things done instead? Laundry for example, or checking your email.
Sometimes I even brush my teeth in the shower. I know this sounds crazy but again, I say no, not crazy. Efficient. I developed this technique when I lived in London. There was no division between the bathroom floor and the shower; it was all just one big mass of tile. I was a grad student at the time and therefore I was A) always stressed out and B) always pressed for time. Brushing my teeth in the shower made perfect sense. All counted, I think I saved probably an entire eight or nine minutes over the course of a year. And one can do a lot in eight or nine minutes. Like, you know, go for a jog. If you’re in to that sort of thing…
The European (who I dated last summer) was a very focused teeth brusher. He used to stand at the sink with his little motorized brush, doing goodness knows what else. (Probably nothing. Except brushing his teeth. Hence the reason I still maintain that his way is was a waste of time. I don’t know for sure though because I never watched. I was too bored by the entire process.)
He used to say that his way—the stationary way— was better than my way—the “wandering” way—because “then you don’t spill.”
My response? “When have I ever spilled?”
PIC by contrast, is an efficient teeth brusher. It is one of the many things I love about him. He starts brushing his teeth in bathroom, then comes into the bedroom, sits down on the bed with his iPad to read the day’s headlines and puts his stop watch on the pillow.
Well, he brushes his teeth for exactly two minutes. And the only way to know you’ve brushed for exactly two minutes is to time yourself on a stop watch.
(At least this is his rational. I’ve pointed out that there’s probably an app on his iPad that would allow him to eliminate the stopwatch, this streamlining the entire process, but what can I say? Some folks just don’t know a good suggestion when they hear one.)
At any rate, since I can’t think of anything more earth shattering for today, let’s talk teeth: what’s your process? In the shower? With a stopwatch? Do you sing the ABCs like they tell you to at the dentist?