Writing left handed

My (Love) Life: Baggage Claim and Layovers

The problem with dating a man who is gluten free (and who has promised to come over one Friday to help you hand out Halloween candy so that new your neighbors don’t think you’re a lesbian) is that you end up with a freezer full of gluten free cookie dough. Then, when the relationship ends as it was—if you are truly honest with yourself—always going to end, you feel compelled to eat said cookie dough, even though you’ve just come back from El Salvador and have sworn off eating all together because you’ve spent a week tossing back steaks, fillet mignons and lobsters stuffed with shrimp.

lobsterEventually you put the cookie dough away and decide that a West Wing marathon will do the trick (just as House of Cards did the trick the last time). But as you sit there in your new house, in your new office, watching Netflix on your computer because you don’t have a proper living room yet, it’s easy to feel just a little bit sorry for yourself.

After all, your contractor’s truck got impounded so your house is still sporting its post-apocalyptic feel…

Your shower has been leaking the entire time you’ve been out of the country so you’re going to have another three-digit water bill…

Your first mortgage payment, utilities and health insurance came due the same week as your quarterly taxes…

And the man who picked you up at the airport not 24 hours ago just told you he cares for you very much but it’s been four months and he doesn’t feel enough of an emotional or romantic attraction to you…

A lesser woman would have crumbled. A lesser woman would have heaved herself headfirst into the gluten free cookie dough.

But I am not a lesser woman.

I did, after all, agree with his assessment of our relationship: it was summer fling, and a lovely one at that, but it’s almost November and summer flings aren’t meant to last that long, not when both parties are on the rebound.  Besides he had two ex-wives already. He was 40 years old. He didn’t want children. He said words like “diachronically” in the hot tub and if there is one rule by which I live my life, it is this: words containing more than three syllables should not be uttered in a hot tub. Especially if there is wine involved and one of you is naked.

My exit from his house wasn’t my proudest moment—I stopped only long enough to grab the vegetables from his counter that I had brought for dinner and didn’t even get to say goodbye to his cat—but as I drove back into the city, I was forced to admit that I’m not the same woman I was back in January, or in June or even last week when I departed for El Salvador.  He was a delightful, ridiculously intelligent and very sexy stop along the journey, but he wasn’t the final destination.

23 Responses to “My (Love) Life: Baggage Claim and Layovers”

    • Kat Richter

      Yeah, I didn’t mean “baggage” in the sense that this was going to leave both us a mess but rather that we both got into the relationship with a hefty amount of prior-relationship-baggage, and that’s never a good thing. It’s okay. Saying goodbye to someone is never easy but I’m glad we did it sooner rather than later.

      • no longer her landlord

        I meant no baggage in a broad sense of your new life, new house, new commitment to writing, etc. any relationship right now=baggage, not necessarily this particular one, but any relationship right now that isn’t “just right”

    • Kat Richter

      Thanks, and can I just say AWESOME blog! Almost makes me look forward to turning 30 and finally getting my you-know-what together 🙂

  1. Maia Simon

    One of the best things I learned in therapy is that breaking up is evidence of successful dating.

  2. Jerseyite Lurker

    I’m surprised. I thought the whole thing sounded promising. Ah well, better now than later if it wasn’t meant to last.

    *gasp* OMG, now your neighbors may STILL think you’re a lesbian!

  3. Katie

    Hmm… I met an American architect in Florence (who’s hoping to move there indefinitely) who might interest you. Though he’s a little younger than your usual taste. 😉

    • Kat Richter

      Younger as in no ex wives or kids from other people? I could handle that 🙂 Especially as Florence is my favorite city ever.

  4. grumpycatwalk

    I loved this post. I dated a guy for a wasted 2.5 years and he had 2 divorces under his belt. never again dating a guy with that many divorces. I love the ending — nicely written!

    • Kat Richter

      Wow, 2.5 years is long time to invest! I’m sorry to hear things didn’t work out. At least in this case it was only 4 months so I don’t feel like it was a waste of time- I learned a lot and had a good time; thankfully we ended things before either of us got too attached– I’m sure I’d feel very differently if things had gone on longer! Hope you’re feeling better at this point 🙂

  5. dancinginaugustrain

    this was great. can’t imagine a freezer full of gluten free cookie dough; but great style, love the blog.


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