Chocolate is (not) for sharing

I know that relationships are supposed to be love and sharing and all but sometimes I don’t want to share.  Especially when it comes to chocolate.  And especially when it comes to my boyfriend who thoroughly enjoys dark chocolate but never gets around to actually buying any of his own.

no-chocolate

For the past year and a half, I’ve been the sole chocolate-provider in our relationship.  And while I don’t mind doling out a few squares between numbers when he’s been kind enough to accompany me to some wacky venue for some wacky post modern dance concert, I do mind when we’re at his place and the dessert offerings are limited to Chips Ahoy.

The Chips Ahoy, of course, are for his kids.  And I understand that as a father, he needs to keep a certain amount of milk chocolate around the house (and whole milk, and Pop Tarts, and Chex Mix).  I’ve even come to tolerate the seemingly endless supply of Doritos (not that I would ever eat them, at least not more than 20 or 30 of them…) but even though he’s gotten pretty good at stocking the kitchen with things he knows I like, he never buys chocolate.

So I buy the chocolate.  And then he eats it.  And then his kids eat it.  And then I have no more chocolate left and when I’m playing board games based on the invasion of alien planets, I need chocolate.

I thought that my preference for dark chocolate would cut down on the multi-generational consumption.  I mean, what kind of kids like dark chocolate?

TWD’s kids, it turns out.

My next move was to start buying Lindt’s chili flavored dark chocolate.  TWD hates the stuff so I figured his kids would hate it too, just like they hated the Newman’s organic mint chocolate Oreo’s I bought them a while back, and just like they hated their vegan cream cheese.

It seemed like the perfect plan, and before you accuse me of being the most selfish person on the planet, I did buy a communal bag of Smartfood popcorn for everyone to enjoy.

But then something terrible happened.  I offered a piece to TWD’s eldest, confident that it would deemed it “gross,” “nasty” or “disgusting,” thus leaving me with an entire bar all to myself… only that’s not what happened.  That’s the opposite of what happened.

I wonder where TWD and his kids stand on ginger chocolate?

PS: In the time that it has taken me to finally write this post, TWD has finally learned to buy chocolate.  And he’s found a bar that the whole family can enjoy: Lindt 70% Dark Chocolate.

PPS: Yes, I just said “family” didn’t I?

12 Responses to “Chocolate is (not) for sharing”

  1. renpiti

    At least you didn’t go all chocoloate-alpha on them, poised with bared teeth over the candy and daring them to venture within range of your mooch-mauling fangs.

    Reply
  2. debwill72

    As a fellow dark chocolate lover, I understand where you are coming from in this post. Here is my secret…I only share my dark chocolate with people I really like. Luckily for the world, this is most people. But let it be known, if you are not nice, no chocolate for you!

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Now THAT is one way to RUIN perfectly good chocolate, LOL! I hate wasabi and TWD loves it; in fact whenever we order sushi, he gives me all the ginger and I give him all the wasabi 🙂

      Reply
  3. Katie @ Domestiphobia.net

    Aww, how cute! Honestly, I think it’s awesome you’re introducing the kiddos to choices that are more refined that your typical junk food — and they’re healthier, to boot! That’s responsible parenting, Kat. And yes. I said “parenting.” 😉

    Reply
  4. Zak

    What about buying two sets of chocolate? Dark of your preference for you, Hershey’s kisses for them? That way, the extra cost of crap chocolate for them (I mean, house chocolate/well chocolate/peasant chocolate will keep Kat’s chocolate/special chocolate/top shelf chocolate safe.

    C does that with her beer 🙂

    Reply
    • jenniejhernandez

      No no I am sure from what she says the kids would have no problem eating both kinds 😦

      Reply
  5. Landlord

    I don’t care about sharing, just give me some! I need dark chocolate NOW. Or preferably the spicy chocolate dipped strawberries that I made for Cinco de Mayo!

    Reply
  6. Lily

    I found this post hilarious because recently my younger brother and my mom’s boyfriend started raiding our chocolate stash. Luckily for me, the Lindt chili chocolate sufficiently scarred them; “that’s karma for eating my chocolate!”

    Reply
  7. sarahnsh

    Oh my goodness you so have to try this chocolate line that I forgot the name of the has like dark chocolate and bacon, I believe that’s called mo’s bar, and all sorts of wacky favors! The bars are really expensive, and tiny, but they are pretty fun with the flavors. I’m glad to hear that he’s helping with the chocolate buying, especially since his kids like dark chocolate too!
    Oh, and you totally have to try Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter from the Peanut Butter Co., so amazing!

    Reply
  8. Olivia

    Loved this. Chocolate is an absolute staple. No matter how much I might care about someone, when it comes to my food, back away.

    Reply

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