I know that relationships are supposed to be love and sharing and all but sometimes I don’t want to share. Especially when it comes to chocolate. And especially when it comes to my boyfriend who thoroughly enjoys dark chocolate but never gets around to actually buying any of his own.
For the past year and a half, I’ve been the sole chocolate-provider in our relationship. And while I don’t mind doling out a few squares between numbers when he’s been kind enough to accompany me to some wacky venue for some wacky post modern dance concert, I do mind when we’re at his place and the dessert offerings are limited to Chips Ahoy.
The Chips Ahoy, of course, are for his kids. And I understand that as a father, he needs to keep a certain amount of milk chocolate around the house (and whole milk, and Pop Tarts, and Chex Mix). I’ve even come to tolerate the seemingly endless supply of Doritos (not that I would ever eat them, at least not more than 20 or 30 of them…) but even though he’s gotten pretty good at stocking the kitchen with things he knows I like, he never buys chocolate.
So I buy the chocolate. And then he eats it. And then his kids eat it. And then I have no more chocolate left and when I’m playing board games based on the invasion of alien planets, I need chocolate.
I thought that my preference for dark chocolate would cut down on the multi-generational consumption. I mean, what kind of kids like dark chocolate?
TWD’s kids, it turns out.
My next move was to start buying Lindt’s chili flavored dark chocolate. TWD hates the stuff so I figured his kids would hate it too, just like they hated the Newman’s organic mint chocolate Oreo’s I bought them a while back, and just like they hated their vegan cream cheese.
It seemed like the perfect plan, and before you accuse me of being the most selfish person on the planet, I did buy a communal bag of Smartfood popcorn for everyone to enjoy.
But then something terrible happened. I offered a piece to TWD’s eldest, confident that it would deemed it “gross,” “nasty” or “disgusting,” thus leaving me with an entire bar all to myself… only that’s not what happened. That’s the opposite of what happened.
I wonder where TWD and his kids stand on ginger chocolate?
PS: In the time that it has taken me to finally write this post, TWD has finally learned to buy chocolate. And he’s found a bar that the whole family can enjoy: Lindt 70% Dark Chocolate.
PPS: Yes, I just said “family” didn’t I?