Wedding Stationary? What Wedding Stationary?
We’re in The Wedding Date’s car on our way out of town for the weekend when it suddenly hits me.
“Oh my God I forgot to tell you!” I exclaim.
“They’re having a clearance sale at Ten Thousand Villages—including stationary!”
The Wedding Date fails to comprehend the importance of this statement but with my friends getting engaged by the dozen these days, I’ve been spending an ungodly amount of money on Ten Thousand Villages stationary.
This is because Ten Thousand Villages stationary is the best. Its fair trade and handmade and—wait for it—the wedding cards come with little bride and groom figurines on the front made out of recycled soda bottles by an artisans’ collective in Kenya! They’re so pretty that the card itself is practically a gift—at least that’s what one of the sales associates told me when I purchased my first for Date #7’s brother’s wedding last fall. “These cards are a great choice,” he assured me, “you can frame them afterwards” and seeing as said associate was extremely well-dressed and sporting the same flair for interior design as the Queer Eye crew, I was pretty sure that he knew what he was talking about.
The only problem with Ten Thousand Villages stationary is that the cards normally cost $8 each and when you’re averaging 4 or 5 weddings a year, plus gifts, plus—oh yeah—air fare, the stationary costs add up.
Which is why when I received an email stating that the $8 cards had been put on sale for $2 (artisans still paid in full), I practically ran all the way to Ten Thousand Villages.
“I bought every card they had in stock!” I proudly inform The Wedding Date.
He falls silent.
“Every single one?”
“Yes!” I reply triumphantly. “Why not?”
“Well, just a couple of weeks ago you were saying you wanted to slow things down a bit…”
“So how are wedding cards supposed to help us slow things down?”
It is at this moment that I’m forced to remember The Wedding Date is a man, and that men don’t always understand the finer points of stationary such as the vital difference between a wedding card and a wedding invitation.
“They’re cards!” I laugh. “For other people. Not for us. I’m not out shopping for invitations!” (Unless you count the fact that I do, on occasion, peruse the clearance rack at A.C. Moore for do-it-yourself wedding stationary just to make sure they still have, for when the time comes…)
Moral of the story? If you want to brag about the great deal you go on shoes or underwear or Victoria’s Secret paraphernalia, then by all means: tell your boyfriend. But if your success stories include anything even vaguely related to the “w” word and your boyfriend knows next to nothing about stationary, better save it for a girlfriend.
- Part 2: The Art of Sleeping Together with Kids (fieldworkinstilettos.com)
- Extreme Kayaking, Or How I Almost Drowned The Wedding Date (fieldworkinstilettos.com)
- Don’t Go to Body Pump with Your Mother (fieldworkinstilettos.com)
7 Responses to “Wedding Stationary? What Wedding Stationary?”
This is hilarious. I have to have a version of the final explanation with the husband when I get near babies. Coo-ing over babies and absentmindedly claiming, “I want one” can’t be done in front of him.
For sure! Funny how squeamish guys can be about certain things 🙂
They are so cute! Please put one aside for when I find the Duke and we get married. (In the very near future…I hope…)
You know what’s better than telling us (guys) about your deal on new shoes or underwear? Wearing said new shoes and underwear and showing us. 🙂
Poor guy. That probably had him on the verge of an anxiety attack.
Ha! I wonder if he would’ve jumped to that conclusion had you never… you know… been spotted on national television wearing a wedding gown. Or two. 😉