Writing left handed

Rate Your Date?

It was bound to happen sooner or later.  Yesterday, I got an email on my public account—my SingleinSouthPhilly@gmail.com account— from a fellow Match.com user.  A fellow female Match.com user who evidently had just gone a date with one of the men I dated (and wrote about) last year.


This is a totally random and inappropriate question, but is the guy you wrote about in this post named [well, actually I’m not going to reveal that.  Sorry folks]? I Googled him because I went out on a date with him via match.com. My friends and I used to make fun of “pickup artist” type guys who pots [sic; presumably she meant post?] on internet forums and when we were on the date, he started using the techniques that these guys used to chat about and told me that he does life coaching on the side.  Lo and behold, I found a series of creepy yet funny podcasts about how to pick up women, as well as his company he’s attempting to start up and the iPhone apps.

He actually mentioned you on our date.  He didn’t really say much though, just mentioned that you were an eloquent writer and kind of quiet and then mentioned something about bridezillas and [one of the talk show producers who contacted me after the ABC segment aired, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on that account].  I just thought it was interesting and kind of gives you another perspective if you actually do go on the show and talk about dating him. I feel kind of weird emailing you about this, but you’ll probably find it more amusing than my friends did so I thought I’d share.

The email wasn’t signed by anyone but it did indeed amuse me.  So thank you for that, and please pardon my delay in composing a reply— I’m still trying to figure out what to say!  I’ve done my best to preserve the identities of the men I’ve dated and I certainly don’t intend to change that now.

At any rate, this email got me thinking: is there a place where women (or men for that matter) can go to rate the people they’ve dated?  Sort of a Rate My Professors for online dating?  If not, there totally should be.  You could rate people for things like promptness, politeness, actual physical appearance vs. what they wrote in their profile…  and there could be some sort of moderation process so that the entire thing wouldn’t devolve into a mockery of their— you know— sexual performance (or lack thereof).

In fact, you could call it Rate Your Date and you could—

Never mind.

I’ve just Googled it.

And such a thing already exists and yep, its called DateRate.  (Go figure.)

So much for that million dollar idea.  (Although the site looks pretty low budget if you ask me, so I don’t think anyone is making too much money off of it.)

In the meantime, what do you think of the concept?  Is it fair?  Would you rather know your date might turn out to be an axe murderer (or a jerk, or six inches shorter than he described himself to be?) or would you rather try your luck without trying to sort through someone else’s baggage?

rate a date

18 Responses to “Rate Your Date?”

  1. Chicago-Style Girl

    Being able to rate dates would be kind of cool. I would love to give other chicks a heads up about guys I’ve dated. People who are married to their jobs or uncontrollable cheats need to be outed.

    Of course, I wouldn’t have wanted to read about my husband online. The guy he used to be is not someone I would’ve dated. I guess it’s a double edged sword like anything else similar.

    Do you really wnat to know or do you just think you want to know?

    • Kat Richter

      Yeah, I hear ya. I went out to a club with a friend of mine in Warsaw several years back. She speaks Polish but pretended she couldn’t so that the guys next to us wouldn’t censor their conversation. Turns out they were talking about us, and not saying terribly flattering things. Sometimes its better not to know!

      • Chicago-Style Girl

        I hope at some point she spoke to them in Polish so they would know to watch what they say, and to not assume. But either way, how uncomfortable!

  2. Landlord

    Don’t like their name, “DateRate” too close to that other “date blank” term. I think your idea is much nicer. Just a general, how did they measure up to their claims for character, integrity, etc., not their prowess elsewhere. But there would have to be code names, using only their match (or whatever) screen names.

  3. Rachel

    It would be nice to get warnings but could also take all the adventure and funny stories out of dating!

  4. Zak

    Imagine how many vicious exes would mis-rate their former beaus!

    I would probably be rated as badly, and I have enough trouble attracting worthwhile girls that I don’t need that hanging over my head.

  5. Jill

    Grateful once again that I dated and married before there was an online. Yikes.

  6. Lincoln

    I think private feedback is excellent, public feedback (ala ratemyprofessor) I’m not sure about.

    Private feedback is something I wished for during my 27-year spell of being single*: There were dates (or women) where I thought I stood a chance but nothing happened, conversely, there were others where I knew nothing good would come of it relatively early but in both cases I would have loved to get something honest from the woman’s perspective to improve/understand what they’re looking for — and there are a few cases where I knew “we” wouldn’t work but there were things I thought might help down the road (Give the guy space! I know you mean well, but you’re being too damn clingy and we aren’t even dating.)

    Dating is such a 1-on-1 personal chemistry thing though that I think a public site could be more harmful than helpful.

    (*- After 8 years on Match, I found someone who apperciates my geekiness and awful puns. We’ve been dating for 11 months and 7 days. It’s nice)

    • Kat Richter

      I agree- there’s a difference between public and private “feedback.” The only time I would want to know would be if the guy (or girl) was actually dangerous.

  7. Tech Support

    No offense, but a site like that would be horrible. A horrible date in one person’s book could be a nice guy in another. What matters to one person may not to another. How would you like to be officially rated as a “bad date”. Its not like professors with measurable data points. Dating is purely based on opinion and rating a guy poorly is just going to hurt self esteem of the people on the bottom.

  8. Jess Killmenow

    I’m thinking an Angie’s List of dating. You know, like, what services were performed, punctuality, how much the date cost, quality of the date broken down by meeting of or failure to meet expectations, truthfulness or lack thereof, hygiene and appearance, generosity, manners, whether or not they are a source of free food or entertainment, etc. I don’t know, there might be money in it. Angie’s List charges a pretty penny…

  9. Susie

    It would be great to have a place to find out if someone you’re talking to is actually a cheater or serial dater. I met a guy about a year ago online, been seeing each other (I thought) exclusively; just found out he’s still on match with a new screen name and has actively been dating other women. So much for “honest and loyal” and “looking for a relationship”. It would be nice to have a place to let others know.

    • Kat Richter

      Wow! That’s definitely not cool 😦 Sorry you’ve had to deal with that– just one more reason that we need a way to oust these men!


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