“Do you want to see me in a bikini or not?”
It was New Years Day, and The Wedding Date had been talking with a friend’s husband about board games for the past fifteen minutes.
Not finding myself particularly interested in their conversation, I had turned my attention to an old MySpace video that said friend’s sister had pulled up on my lap top.
This, by the way, was not just any video. It was a video that we ourselves had filmed during a trip to Florida several years ago and if my memory serves me correctly, the idea had come to us after several glasses of “special lemonade.” We decided to film a remake of Fergie’s “Fergaliscious” except we rewrote the lyrics to describe the “slug-like” behavior in which we’d been engaging for the past several days.
We called the video “Slugaliscious” and choreographed an entire synchronized swimming routine to go with it, although being that none of us had any experience in synchronized swimming, it was more synchronized rolling into the pool, followed by a “dance routine” that a couple of ten year olds at a sleepover could have put together.
Except ours was better.
Because we weren’t ten.
And we were drinking.
And we had great lyrics, such as, “I’m up in the pool, just working on my fitness, she’s my witness” and “Peace out, slugs!”
At any rate, I was sick of listening to The Wedding Date going on and on about Game of Thrones because I don’t know anything about Game of Thrones and even though I tried to follow the conversation, I got bored after about fifteen seconds.
The Wedding Date, however, was in his element, and having suddenly found a kindred spirit in my friend’s husband, he’d been going on for the better part of fifteen minutes.
I know that you’re supposed to encourage your partner to make new friends and support their interests even if you don’t share them but I wasn’t feeling my most… magnanimous.
As for The Wedding Date—he was off in his own world. I’d never seen him so excited about anything (well, anything outside of the bedroom…) and even when I tried to talk to him, he seemed unable (or perhaps unwilling?) to hear me.
Can you blame me for what I did next? It was a last resort, and I wasn’t terribly keen on the idea of The Wedding Date watching my slug dance but he had already seen my Usher impression on the roof deck at midnight and I couldn’t stand one of more second of gamer talk.
I took a deep breath and yelled at the top of my lungs, “Do you want to see me in my bikini or not?”
All talk of Game of Thrones came to an abrupt halt.
“What was that about a bikini?”
Moral of the story, if you’re dating a nerd (which The Wedding Date totally is, by the way, even if he also happens to be a super-sexy salsa dancer on the side…) you need to film a video of yourself in a bikini or else just keep a bikini on hand for those times when he lapses into major geek mode and you need to bring him back to the real world.
You also need to be ready to play one of his nerdy board games at some point in time.
And, when that finally happens, you need to be ready for the fact that you might actually like one of them.
Not that I would know anything about that…
- Mi Novio Nuevo (fieldworkinstilettos.com)
- GAME OF THRONES Season 2 – New Character Posters and Featurette (geektyrant.com)
- Adventures in Cardio (and Compromise) with The Wedding Date (fieldworkinstilettos.com)