How to Get a Girl to Stay the Night
Those of you who’ve been following my love life for some time may recall that I penned the following in response to my ill-fated visit to Pittsburgh this past summer. And although I was talking specifically about hosting a date for a weekend at the time, the same rules apply for the “Oh no! It’s too late to drive home!” sleepover:
We all know that you’re not planning a weekend visit to sit around playing checkers (and if you are, you should probably just go to a convention or something) but if this is the first time your lady-friend is spending the night, you ought to offer—at the very least— a façade of quasi-Victorian propriety.
If you have a guest bedroom, offer it to her. (Any woman worth her salt will prefer having someplace semi-private to stash her things, lest she clutter up your kitchen with her shoes and makeup.) If you don’t have a guest room, offer her your bed and—this is the important part— offer to sleep on the couch. I can personally guarantee that she’ll eventually invite you to join her so you won’t be stranded in your living room for long.
When The Wedding Date suggested we meet up in his neck of the woods last Friday night, it wasn’t long thereafter until he invited to the stay the night.
I waffled for a while—we’re only four dates in, and I was still quasi-seeing Date #7 at the time—but when he urged me to bring my overnight bag just in case and offered to sleep in the guest room, I decided I’d better bring my pjs after all.
So we go to the movies, we go to dinner, we come back to his place and I marvel at his Star Wars-themed Christmas tree which is all decked out in x-planes or x-fighters or whatever they’re called and frankly, I find it charming, from the bald spots in back right on down to the blue lights. (What is it with bachelors and their blue lights, by the way?)
The Wedding Date pours us each a glass of wine and because we’re a couple of wild and crazy kids, we drink it in his living room while watching Modern Family. Around 1:00am, he escorts me his bedroom, tucks me in, gets me a glass of water (and a coaster, of course) and leaves.
That’s right: he’s sleeping in the guest room. And I haven’t even asked him to do so.
It’s not so much that I’m a prude (okay, I am a prude) but I have to teach the next day and I need all the sleep I can get when I’m conducting thirty-student rehearsals.
Around 5:30, however, I wake up. And I can’t get back to sleep. And I’m bored. And lonely. So I hatch a cunning plan in which I intend to creep silently into the guest room and surprise The Wedding Date with my early morning seductive powers.
The only problem is its pitch dark, so instead of seducing him, I’m mainly just bumping into furniture and making a complete fool of myself.
Fortunately the man in question is a rather light sleeper so he sits up the minute I open the door to the guest room. Approximately 90 seconds later, I’m back in The Wedding Date’s bedroom but this time… well, I have company.
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Kat Echevarría Richter 
19 Responses to “How to Get a Girl to Stay the Night”
It seems that the blue lights on Christmas tree is also a German thing, because Tracy has always had blue lights on our trees and so did her parents. One gets used to it after a while and it is rather soothing.
Hmmm… I had a boyfriend of German descent in college and he had blue lights too– thought it was bachelor thing but maybe it is actually a German thing (although TWD is not German).
I liked this…but it depresses me. Women are all about whims, it seems. You know the best way to get a girl to stay the night? Catch her at the right moment.
Thanks for your comment and I hope you’re not too depressed by the “whims” of my fair sex. I guess the point I was trying to make it that there’s a greater likelihood that “the right moment” will come along if you do your best to make sure you’re date it comfortable. I asked TWD to join me specifically because I did NOT feel pressured to do so.
X-Wing is what you were looking for.
You made the poor man wait until 05:30. So it is not only your story’s you manage to spin out for maximum effect.
So the chivalrous route is the best way of enticing a lady to stay. Well noted. Thanks
Haha! You’re welcome. And thanks for clearing up the X-wing confusion for me.
My dear Kat. You have entirely failed to factor into the equation that The Wedding Date may himself be a man of the most modenst propensity and that your nocturnal advances might have mortified him. After all, he is the only single man with a marital title that I have ever come across.
I jest. This is all coming along nicely.
HAH! I’m fairly certain he was not mortified 🙂
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Well sort of. I offer to give them the couch. I am only half gentleman. It doesn’t matter. I already know, the fact is, is that she will commandeer my bed regardless of what I say, so I figure by telling her she can have the couch at LEAST I can gauge her interest.
If she hits my bed then, well, there is at least some level of naked carousing that is likely to take place. . . 🙂
Firstly, thanks for the shout out, Ronnie. Secondly, I think I just might have to write another post on this subject because it seems like a lot of people equate “no interest in sex on a third or fourth date” with “no interest whatsoever.” They are (imho) two completely different matters 🙂
That depends on the guy. I pretty much have a solid rule of 3. If I go out with a woman and we haven’t slept together by the third date I’m kinda assuming she isn’t interested.
Now I realize that may not be the case entirely, but then again, I might begin to assume she doesn’t really know what she wants and the question becomes, “Is she worth investing my time in her when there’s a strong possibility she is stringing me along.”
You may be surprised to find a LOT of quality men are thinking this way, despite what society and social conditioning may have women thinking. I don’t want a slut, mind you. But I do want a woman who desires me as much as I desire her and if it’s been a few dates and nothing has happened, I really and truely will start to feel maybe she’s just stringing me along for he validation or attention or free drinks or whatever – AND I will assume she must not think of me as special… That maybe she has gone on 17 other dates in the last month or two. 😉
Bachelors and their blue lights? How about bachelors and their Christmas trees? I’ve never been to the house of a grown man without a spouse or children and seen a Christmas tree. This type of guy is illusive, like a gazelle.
I live near Belmont and Sheffield… You can come over any time you want and see my christmas tree (and I mean a real one, in case your mind was just in the gutter…)
I’ve had a christmas tree every year, even if it was a mini. ;p And I would say, yes, I am as elusive as a Gazelle. 😉
My boyfriend in college had one and he was both single and childless. He did, however, own a home, which was very nicely decorated (he was the most metrosexual man I’ve ever dated) and his Christmas true was no exception. My brother (also single and childless) has a mini tree that my mom gave him and a wreath that my mom also gave him and reminds him to put on his door every year– LOL!
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Ha, I do think guys have a thing for lights. My brother absolutely loves fairy lights, and had a Christmas tree up all year until this year that you’d throw money on it and he named ‘the money tree.’ He got rid of his tree for a treadmill now because his apartment is tiny (like no living room).
I’m glad he acted like a perfect gentlemen, and you two eventually had a sleepover in his room! 😀
I still want to see a picture of the tree…. 😉
Wow, this isn’t a very informative guide haha. I don’t get the end? So you never actually slept with her, but you got her to stay the night? That’s clever haha 🙂