That’s What She Said

A Short List of Utterances Made by Yours Truly During Last Night’s Flyers Game

(Which I attended with my former flat mate, his fiancé, and Date #6, who had the sorry task of sitting next to me during my first NHL game ever…)

First Period:

What is everyone shouting?  Oh.  Let’s go Flyers.  That makes sense.

Do you think they have Starbucks here?

So [former flat mate] and [flat mate’s fiancé], I went to this wedding last weekend and the bride and groom did this amazing first dance, complete with lifts!  Are you guys going to do lifts at your wedding? You really should.  In fact if you started taking lessons now… wooooooooooh!  Wait!  What just happened?  Why is everyone cheering?

Second Period:

They should add rhinestones to their jerseys.  Then they could blind the other team when the lights reflect off of their shirts.

How do you get to become one of those girls who skates around the rink shoveling the ice?  And how come the guys don’t wear skimpy outfits?  You know, for the enjoyment of all female audience members, they really should.  I think I’m going to write the Flyers a strongly worded letter.

Ooooooh!  The zambonis are coming!!!!  I LOVE zambonis!  This is the best part of the game!

Third Period:

Punch him in the head!

Knock him in the shins with your stick!!!

Fight!  Fight!  Fight!

Why did the other team get rid of their goalie?  Wait don’t tell me: there’s less than a minute to go, the score is 2 to 1, so if they put another man on the ice, there’s a better chance that they’ll actually score!  YES!  Total hockey genius right here.

(… And then I wonder why I’m still single.)

5 Responses to “That’s What She Said”

  1. chauffeur

    Well at least you remembered there are 3 periods, not 4 quarters. Your affinity for the zamboni does not surprise me, your favorite part of baseball games was when the groundskeepers came out to drag the infield and had worked the “macarena” into their task.

  2. Landlord

    “You are NOT my daughter”…LOL, says the former best defensive field hockey player…

  3. Debbie

    My favorite part about a baseball game is when the guys come out with the chain looking things to make the dirt pretty again… I totally understand the Zaboni…

  4. becky119

    OMG…I almost spit water all over my desk when I read the comment about the Zaboni. Totally awesome.

    And maybe more girls would watch sports if guys bedazzelled their uniforms. 😀


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