It’s getting annoying. TWD and I haven’t been in touch since The Handoff back in January. No drunken texts. No late night booty calls. No Facebook messages. No emails. Nothing. But sometimes I see funny things, or Star Wars things, or funny Star Wars things and I’m like “OMG, TWD has to see this!”
I was at a coffee shop the other day and a man walked in wearing a cap printing with images of the solar system. It was ridiculous but my first instinct was to take a picture and text it to TWD. He would have cracked up. Especially if I’d added the suggestion that he purchase a similar cap in order to distract his opponents at his next Attack Wing tournament.
Then I was driving home from work and saw a sign for Peter Nero and the Philly Pops. They’re doing the music of John Williams. The billboard even bore the official yellow Star Wars font (which I know is an official font because I used a meme generator to print iron-on transfers for TWD’s Star Wars underwear two Christmases ago). In this case, my first instinct was not to text TWD, but only because I was driving. My first instinct was to email TWD and say, “Did you know about this? You should totally go!!!”
And just now, I saw a short newspaper clipping about a Belgian math teacher who threatened his students with Game of Thrones “spoilers” if they didn’t settle down. “I’ve read all the books,” he’s reported to have said, “and from now on, when there’s too much noise, I will write the name of the next death.” Genius. And TWD would think so too. He’s maniacal about spoilers.
But I couldn’t share the story with him because I’ve un-friended him, both on Facebook and on real life.
Back when we were still dating, we talked about the prospect of remaining friends in the event of a future break up. We quickly decided against it.
“It would be too hard,” I said. “And too messy. I wouldn’t want to do that.”
TWD shared my opinion—rather adamantly— and even though he’s still friends with a lot of his ex girlfriends (too many for comfort in my opinion), he told me he could never be friends with me because we what we had was “different” and “too special.”
(He also said that he was pretty certain I’d date a “pretty boy” after him. And that said “pretty boy” wouldn’t be so pretty once he was through with him. I found this prospect both wildly romantic and woefully depressing at the time.)
Looking back, I think to myself, “Umm… who talks about that kind of stuff???” But then I remember that TWD and I always talked about everything. We even talked about whether or not it would be okay for him to stay friends with a particular set of my friends. Maybe we were actually flirting, maybe we were just making conversation, maybe we both knew what was coming and were testing the waters… I honestly don’t know.
What I do know, however, is that I’m still sitting here nearly three months later thinking, “TWD has to see this!”
It’s not so much that I miss him— I do miss him, but I’m filling the void with new friends and old friends and lots and lots of NPR (seriously, my knowledge of current events has skyrocketed now that I listen to the radio in the car instead of talking to TWD. Ask me anything about Crimea. Or Hobby Lobby. Or yesterday’s Obamacare deadline)—but rather that I kind of, sort of do want to be friends with him.
I want to know how he’s doing. I want to talk to him. I want to tell him what’s going on in my life, and hear about his kids, and tell him to go to the John Williams concert because he’d totally love it.
But for now, I’m going to keep these things to myself (well, to myself and all of you).
After reading tomorrow’s post you’ll understand why.