How To Date A British Guy: The Rules
As demonstrated by my rather deplorable track record during my time in the UK, I don’t know the first thing about dating British men. I tried– Lord knows I tried— but I always failed pretty miserably. Fortunately I’ve got TWD and Downton Abbey to keep me occupied these days but for the rest of you, I’m thrilled to offer the following guest post written by a genuine British man (i.e. someone who actually knows what he’s talking about).
Jamie from HaveYourPick (who typically helps men become more successful with women through an understanding of the latest psychology) has written 5 great tips to help you bag yourself a Brit for 2013, and provides fresh insight into the typical British male!
1. The Danger of Saying “Soccer” to a British Guy
First things first we have to clear up one issue that continues to bug me and every other British guy out there. We love you American girls we really do, but you have to understand that one of your most iconic sports has got it completely wrong.
Football … just like the name suggests should be used to describe a sport that consists of a certain degree of contact between your FOOT and a BALL. So seriously, why on earth do you call your version of football, football? Maybe I’ve been hiding in a ditch my whole life, but the last time I checked, your version of the sport ‘football’ predominantly involved using your HANDS to maneuver the ball around – NOT YOUR FEET. That would be called HANDBALL.
Needless to say with the excessive use of capitals in that previous paragraph, I’m pretty passionate about this subject – like any other stereotypical Brit.
Here in England, there is nothing more frowned upon than calling football, ‘soccer’. It will surely go down about as well as slapping the queen in the face during her televised Christmas day speech or screaming “Lord Voldemort” at the top of your lungs on the grounds of Hogwarts.
2. The Importance of the word “Mate”
While the word ‘mate’ may be commonly used to describe animals getting a little frisky in the animal kingdom, it has a very different meaning here in England.
The term ‘mate’ is commonly used to describe a close friend or somebody we like to hang out with.
‘Yeah I’m just going out with my mates tonight’
‘It’s cool, we’re just mates’
We say it all the time, perhaps way too much. If you’ve planning on bagging a British guy, chances are you will come across this word a thousand times per day, so be prepared to invest in some very sophisticated ear plugs. Remember! if he tells you he’s “off to see his ‘mates’ tonight”, rest assured he’s not cheating on you!
3. The Difference between American Football and Rugby!
Back to American Football again, it’s really bugging me. And remaining on the sensitive subject of sport. We need to clear another thing up. The differences between Rugby and American Football are substantial. Yes, the object of the game is to skillfully crush another man’s skull beneath your feet as your tactfully move the ball to the desired destination, but take notice of the differences in protective clothing worn by our athletes.
Rugby = Players have no protection
American Football = Players have a full suit of armor
In contrast, no protective clothing makes us British guys 100 times more manly than yours. Just a little recognition of this fact is enough to boost our confidence and brighten up our day.
4. Our English Delicacies
Us British guys love food. The iconic dish that we frequently indulge in is fish and chips. If you’ve never tried it, we highly recommend that you do.
If you’re on a date with a British guy, why not suggest that you both go for a spot of fish and chips and a walk by the beach? By actively selecting our native food as your chosen dish, it will impress us like mad that you’ll willing to try something new, and hey, you might really like it!
Click here for more on where to go on the first date
5. Our Love Of Beer!
More than anything, we love our beer and we would surely enjoy that beer much more if it were accompanied by an American girl. If you’re stuck on what things to try at the local pub, why not try one of the following (in moderation of course – we won’t take lightly to you drinking us under the table!)
- Stella Artois (a strong larger for the more hardened drinker)
- Heineken (a slightly more tamed larger if you’re a newbie)
- Guinness (if you’re feeling more courageous, why not try this traditional Irish beverage?)
As you can see us British guys are very primitive creatures. Sport, food and alcohol – what a combination! Of course there is more depth to us than this… we can often find time for a spot of peeing on the toilet seat between our sessions of booze, snacks and contact sports!
Above all, a brief understanding of some of the iconic things that make us British will surely impress us and have us dying for more!
For more on the psychology of attraction, please visit www.haveyourpick.co.uk
Fieldwork in Stilettos 
14 Responses to “How To Date A British Guy: The Rules”
In anticipation of my pending return to the UK, I thank you for allowing this guest author to get me ready to “Bag A Brit” in the coming months! As a soccer/football mistake maker all the time, I will be sure to remember this tip for future reference… 🙂
Yes! You’d better! I am counting on you to continue the fieldwork 🙂
Awesome post. Very amusing. And while I’m as patriotic as the next American, I totally agree that Rugby is a much more manly version of football. (Anybody seen the Friend’s episode where Ross plays Rugby to impress Emily? Very amusing).
Also, I was editing a book where the characters were in Europe and kept refering to football as soccer. I was like, nope…big mistake. Check your facts boys.
Disagree strongly with 1. Soccer is entirely British in origin and not an Americanism. http://anthonywindram.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/you-say-soccer-i-say-football/ In fact, two of the most popular soccer shows are called “Soccer AM” and “Soccer Saturday” and if it’s good enough for Jeff Stelling then it’s good enough for every other British male.
I’d suggest if you’re dating a British male, make a point of calling it soccer and then if they correct you, embarrass them with your superior knowledge of the sport by pointing out why they’re wrong.
Ooh! Very daring…
Not a chance mate, it’s football, call it soccer and you would get a punch on the nose!
“…call it soccer and you would get a punch on the nose!”
Yeah, cos everyone is always punching Jeff Stelling in the face.
Don’t forget the beer…but really all they want is fish and chips? Hmmmm, maybe that was the other problem you faced.
I tried to date a British guy..I even had the soccer/football and fish & chip bit down. I’m not a beer drinker tho…I should have known we were doomed!
Yes, that does seem to be a requirement… 😦
Can’t get a man from UK to put the beer down for anything! Drink for every occasion no matter what it is! Makes American families fall apart, but I’m guessing UK figured something out we don’t know
hmm…
Don’t get me wrong I love fish and chips, but I have to say as a British guy I hate soccer/football and am not a beer drinker. I would prefer to talk about almost anything apart from football to be honest, and if you can’t be yourself around me then I suggest not dating me. Like most people I suspect that you learn to love the person you are with for the differences and things you share with each other, so be yourself 🙂
On the subject of football, to impress that little bit more, why not ask him to explain The Offside Rule. He’ll bask in the attention that has been offered him and a chance to share one of the most important pieces of information that bonds all footy fans.
Also, as an added bonus, you can then impart your knowledge onto his friends as he sits back and admires, perhaps with a tear of pride in his eye, the girl who has undoubtedly won his heart.
His friends will adore you, as will he, and marriage is all but guaranteed should you want it.
NB – Marriage also depends on commonly shared interests and mutual respect too, obviously.
Loved reading this. If any of you gorgeous American ladies would like to chat to a British guy then please get in touch. I am looking to find that special lady…..
Contact details on abds dot biz 🙂