Something weird happened the other day. I was cleaning out my room as I do every year around this time and I found myself thinking, “Hmm… maybe I’ll bring my second desk to TWD’s house.”
Of course my game plan this year was to rid my room of every possible horizontal surface, leaving only my bed and my main desk. (Without horizontal surfaces on which to pile my crap, I’d actually have to put it away, right?) But there’s a big difference between saying, “If I put my trunk in my closet, I won’t be able to pile my laundry on top of it” and “I think I’ll rearrange my boyfriend’s living room to accommodate my spare desk.”
That’s not to say that I haven’t thought about it before. We’ve actually spoken about setting up a workstation for me at his place and I did rearrange his patio furniture a while back but this was different.
This was weird.
I already have a drawer at his house. And a shelf in the bathroom. And toiletries—even embarrassing things like tampons and one of my three Nettipots. I have PJs, slippers and underwear, which TWD actually washes and folds for me. I also have cans of tomato juice in the kitchen cabinet and the only reason why I don’t have my own designated almond milk in the fridge is because TWD has started drinking the stuff himself. He actually prefers it.
But still: I don’t have a desk. And the minute I thought “You know what? I should have a desk at his house,” I thought, “Whoa… a whole desk? That’s a lot. That’s kind of a big deal. That’s weird.”
A few minutes later, I had the same reaction to my old curtains.
I’m a bit eclectic when it comes to my curtains, by which I mean I have three windows and a different treatment for each of them. I keep thinking that I ought to redecorate within the confines of a comprehensive design scheme but every time I get all fired up to head over to Ikea and buy coordinated accessories, I get equally fired up about moving out, so I can never justify the expense of redecorating.
Hence the three different curtains.
I had an old set of sheers in my trunk so I decided to replace the heavy, off white drapes that I bought to block out the street lights at night but never actually remember to close. As I took them down, I found myself thinking, “Hmmm… these aren’t too girlie-looking. I bet they’d look nice at TWD’s house.”
He doesn’t do curtains. He does blinds. And although I hate the fact that curtains have to be cleaned and ironed and kept from collecting too much dust, I do think they’re kind of nice, in moderation. In fact, I think they’d be kind of nice in TWD’s house, especially as the only non-bachelor décor he has was put there by his mother.
But it’s not my house.
They’re not my windows to decorate.
And yet, a small part of me kind of wishes they were.
Anyone else ever felt this way?