I have this friend… let’s call her Sherry (if for no other reason than I think I’m going to need a drink after this post).
Sherry needs some advice, and since you all seem to have plenty of it, I figured I’d allow her to hijack my blog for the day. And just so we’re clear, I’m not complaining. I like your advice. In fact, sometimes I wish I followed it more often. But getting back to Sherry: she’s been dating this guy for the past few months and she really likes him. He’s kind, spontaneous and although most of his pick up lines are totally lame, he cracks her up.
There’s only one complication— two, to be precise—and they’re not actually “complications.” They’re what made Sherry’s new beau into the man he is today (although he doesn’t always admit this) but she’s kind of nervous about meeting them because… well, they’re alive.
In fact, they’re kids.
Little miniature human beings.
Except they’re not actually all that little, which is too bad because Sherry, like me, has a great rapport with the We’ll-do-anything-for-a-sticker age bracket (i.e. preschoolers).
At any rate, Sherry and her beau decided to wait a while before bringing “dad’s new girlfriend” into the mix but then they went out to dinner and there were tears involved (happy tears, mind you) and wine (an entire flight, actually) and they came to the agreement that it’s been “a while.”
As such, she’s going to be meeting the two not-so-miniature human beings for the first time on Friday.
She’s excited but she’s also terrified.
I mean let’s face it: she’s never dated anyone with kids before and her knowledge of dating-someone-with-kids is limited to Mrs. Doubtfire and Stepmom, neither of which provide particularly reassuring examples.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Robin Williams loses custody of his kids and has to resort to cross dressing to see them. Meanwhile, just when Mom’s new boyfriend starts getting along with the kids, Old Dad (Robin Williams) comes back and smacks him in the head with a lime.
Stepmom: Julia Roberts tries her hardest to get her new fiancé’s kids to like her. Then she tries her hardest to keep them from liking her because they’re starting to like her too much. It takes the imminent death of Old Mom (Susan Sarandon) for everyone to finally get their acts together.
Sherry doesn’t want anyone smacking her in the head with a lime. Nor does she want anybody to die, especially as she doubtful of her abilities to pull off the memory quilt thing that saved poor Julia.
Clearly she needs advice.
So hop to it!