Him? I’ve Never Seen Him Before in My Life!

Upon reading that the Free Library of Philadelphia is offering a slew of free speed dating events between now and Valentine’s Day, I might possibly have suggested to The Wedding Date that we try it— not in order to find ourselves new dates for the big day (perish the thought!), but in order to “accidently” find each other, like Phil and Claire Dunphy did on Modern Family.

If you haven’t seen last year’s Valentine’s Day episode, I won’t spoil it for you but know this: it does not end well.

Nonetheless, I figured we could give a try: you know, head on over to the library for one of the Events for Singles ages 25 to 35 (separately, of course) and pretend we’d never met before in our lives.

The Wedding Date, being the diabolical genius that he is, suggested we hit up one of the Events for Single Latinos ages 25 to 35 too (“in order to double our chances”) at which point we would tell the library folks, “My goodness, we’ve only just met but it feels like we’ve known each for months!”

They’d be impressed by just how much we know about each other—especially if I was to rattle off a few especially unbelievable facts about The Wedding Date—and they’d be so amazed that they’d give us front row tickets to see Anne Rice.  And probably invite us to some sort of VIP banquet beforehand like they at the Oxford Union when important people come to speak.

But Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about romance.  Not rigging the system to win free tickets to an author discussion at the library.

Nonetheless, I’ve suddenly come to understand why all you happily married folk have been reading this blog for the past year (and why the phrase “living vicariously” comes up over and over again in your comments): watching people date is fun!

And even though I can’t think of anyone with whom I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day, I am awfully intrigued by the prospect of speed dating at the library.  So intrigued, in fact, that I’m trying to convince one of my single writer friends to go and report back.

(What do you say, CaseSpace?)

Now, if you and your significant other have any Phil/Claire stories of your own, do tell.

5 Responses to “Him? I’ve Never Seen Him Before in My Life!”

  1. Katie

    Screw that — I think that’s where so many people go wrong. We get married and think it’s time to settle down and stop having fun. I call BS! You two should go DO it! Go to one of the speed date nights, pretend you don’t know each other, and win yourselves the chance to meet a famous author. Otherwise, the prize will likely go to a) 2 people who are so awkward about not knowing each other that they won’t even appreciate meeting Anne Rice, or b) a couple who actually carried through with this plan.

    Don’t be the couple who ends up living vicariously all of the time — be the couple who lives. (Besides, the whole idea sounds pretty dang romantic to me!)

    Reply
  2. Landlord

    ooooh, this could be one of the new themes, undercover dating schemes, or crazy things to do on a date?

    Reply
  3. Kat Richter

    Oh snap– you guys are bad influences! I’m such a rule follower. I’ve literally been sitting here all night (thanks to having caught the plague from of my preschoolers) thinking, “Well, we could go. But it wouldn’t really be fair. And what if we got caught???” I have an irrational fear of library cops after Oxford and with my overdue fines being what they are, I’d hate to get in more trouble than I’m in already!

    Reply
  4. canti

    One Christmas, a very good friend gave Kim and I an interesting gift … she booked us a “room package” for Valentine’s weekend at a casino in Atlantic City. That whole weekend was a comedy riot with all the ways we got into trouble … I should write it all down one of these days (just remember, growing older doesn’t mean you have to “grow up”), but I’ll just impart the one that was probably the most evil … of me.

    Our package included a fancy dinner at one of the restaurants in the Showboat casino … I forget the name, but it was some kind of steak house, and it was wonderful. Dinner was accompanied by a complimentary carafe of wine, which Kim didn’t care for, but (of course!) I couldn’t let it go to waste, so I was buzzing pleasantly when we got onto the elevator to go back to our room. There were a half dozen people already on the elevator when we all smiled pleasantly at each other as the doors closed. I’d taken off my heels because they were pinching my toes, and Kim took them (mostly because he was such a gentleman) and held my hand with his free hand. Unfortunately for him, I was feeling a little devilish, so I got on my tiptoes to give my husband a little kiss on the chin … “sooooooooooooo,” I said, in a voice that was a little above a whisper, “Where does your wife think you are tonight?” I could tell without looking that every eye in the elevator turned to my love, and I could see him blushing right to the tips of his ears … something that NEVER happened. Just then, the door opened to our floor, and we got out, the doors closing behind us. EVENTUALLY, he admitted it was funny, but he swore he could feel every single eye on that elevator boring into him like laser beams.

    From then on, anytime we were on an elevator with a group of people, I’d catch his eye, and more than once, he’d feel the need to say to me, “don’t you DARE!” /snicker

    Reply

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