Absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart grow nitpicky. It’s been eleven days since I last saw The Wedding Date and even though I have very little to complain about, there’s one tiny little detail that’s been bothering me for the past… well, several months actually.
And we’ve talked about it, and I’ve assured The Wedding Date that I’m okay with it, but I’m not, not anymore.
It all began several weeks ago when we were snuggled up on his couch about to watch Modern Family.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Not yet,” I replied, “I want to ask you something first.”
And so began my State of the Union address.
“The thing is,” I explained, “I write a blog. You can read about what’s going on in my love life on the internet every morning. But you… you don’t write a blog. I don’t know what’s going on with you.”
“Finally!” he exclaimed.
“Yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that. Most girls—most girls would never make it this many months without asking that. My friends keep asking me if we’ve had ‘the talk’ and I keep telling them, ‘No! You won’t believe it! This girl is so chill…’”
I don’t know that a man’s ever described me as “chill” before, except for my first boyfriend, who used to call me his “ice queen” but I suspect that had more to do with my refusal to engage in below-the-waist activities than anything else.
“Well, it is only our fourth date,” I replied. “I’m not going to demand that you stop seeing other people, I just want to know if you are.”
“Seeing other people?”
Well then. Frankly, this came as a bit of a surprise.
On that note, I decided to press on.
“And how do you feel about me seeing other people? I’m thinking of making a trip to Pittsburgh over the holidays to visit that guy I told you about. But I don’t want to mess things up between us.”
[Note: this conversation took place before I came to my senses.]
“Well, I’ll tell you what I’ve been telling my friends,” he replied. “I knew what I was getting into with you. You told me all about your blog, and your ‘experiment’ and I don’t love it, but I’m okay with it. For the time being. As long as when you’re with me, you’re actually with me, not thinking about someone else the whole time.”
“Of course,” I assured him.
“Good. Anything else?”
“Yes, actually. One more thing: why aren’t we Facebook friends? Is it… is it because of your family or is it because of your co-workers?”
Ordinarily I wouldn’t care about endowing our relationship with the official Zuckerberg stamp of approval (and I’m certainly not angling for the change in status that my friend Meghan wrote about yesterday) but I’d like to be able to… you know… go through his pictures so I can submit them to one of those websites where they tell you what your children are going to look like.
Or convince him to start using that Four Square app so I’ll know where he is every MOMENT of every DAY.
Or send out nasty, hate messages to any and all female co-workers/ex-girlfriends who dare to post on his wall.
Or send friend requests to his parents, cousins and college roommates, complete with a friendly little note of introduction written in both English and my piss-poor Spanish.
Or maybe, just maybe, level the playing field a bit.
He does, after all, have full access to just about every thought that tumbles out of my head. And yet I can’t even muster up a single photograph to show my BFF when she asks about my date for New Year’s Eve.
Evidently, it is in fact because of his co-workers, in particular the co-worker whose date he was at the wedding where we met back in July. She doesn’t know about me, and from what I understand, she was none too pleased about my attempts to “steal” her date in the first place, even though we only danced once and didn’t even exchange numbers until weeks later.
Am I making too big a deal of this? Probably. I like the way things are going between us, and I don’t want to get all bent out of shape over a damn friend request, but nor do I want to turn a blind eye to what might potentially constitute a red flag.
(Especially as I’ve done little else for the past few months and we all know where that got me.)
- Crossing The Rubicon: Navigating the Facebook Relationship Status (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)
- How to Get a Girl to Stay the Night (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)
- Do You Swing? (katrichterwrites.wordpress.com)