Writing left handed

Man Enough to Say “I Like You”

I’m not trying to kill myself, it’s just that I’ve taught thirteen dance classes over the past 48 hours so when I finally pull my car into the garage on Tuesday night and realize that they’re playing Thelonias Monk on the public radio station, I don’t bother getting out of the driver’s seat.

Instead, I just sit there and listen.

And check my email.

And my Facebook messages.

And my text messages.

Then I re-read my Facebook messages just in case I missed one the first time around because I’m waiting for a response from The Wedding Date.

Eventually, however, it occurs to me that this how people die—sitting in cars inside of closed garages and listening to jazz (or whatever it is that suicidal folks tune their radios to as their bodies slowly succumbing to carbon monoxide poisoning).

I don’t want to kill myself, and even though the thought of climbing the two and a half flights of stairs up to my bedroom is about as appealing as the thought of scaling Mr. Everest after having completing a decathlon, I realize that I need to turn the car off and get out before I too succumb to that silent garage killer.

So I do.  But not before I take one final glance at my cell phone and discover that a tiny blue “F” has popped up in the corner.

It’s The Wedding Date, right on schedule (or rather, several hours ahead of schedule.  I wasn’t expecting to hear from him until the following afternoon).

Before we get to the contents of his message, however (at least those which I’m willing to share) I have a confession to make.  And it requires a bit of explanation.

I’m following quite a few blogs these days and even though I don’t always get the chance to comment, I do enjoy having something to do on the bus ride home from Germantown other than fearing for my life and the wellbeing of my personal belongings.

What I’m not so keen on is the fact that all of my favorite male bloggers have suddenly coupled off.  Every single last one of them.  It’s as though the universe issued some sort of statement: You. Yes, you.   Happily Ever After.  Now.  

Whereas these men were once my allies in all things single, they’ve now got first class tickets on the Valentine’s Day 2012 Express (two tickets mind you) and what’s worse is they’re blogging about it.

At first I found the outpouring of unabashed male sentiment endearing.  “Look at those guys,” I thought, “They’re in love and they’re not afraid to say it!  Good for them.”  I even found myself wishing that I would have the guts to spill my true thoughts about certain individuals who have taken center stage in my life over the past few months… the quiet moments, for example, during Date #7’s brother’s wedding, or the way I felt the first time that The Wedding Date slipped his arms around me… but who wants to spend their lunch break reading about someone else’s sweet nothings?

Not me.

Which is why I-swear-to-God if I have to read ONE MORE post about someone being “thankful” for their newfound “special someone,” my bus rides home from Germantown are going to take an ugly turn.  In fact, I will have no choice but to wrench myself from my seat, dash through the back door and hurl my body beneath the first oncoming vehicle that presents itself because frankly, I can’t take it anymore.

It’s one thing to be single—in fact, I have come to terms with the fact that I’ve spent the last three Thanksgivings without a Plus One and will mostly likely find myself alone on Christmas, New Year’s Valentine’s Day and all foreseeable holidays until I turn 30, get really desperate and decide to give Match.com another shot…

But it’s an entirely different matter pull out my SmartPhone and find myself assaulted, once again, by yet another ode written to some woman I don’t even know by some man I’ve never actually met.

Ostensibly, I could simply stop reading.

(Or throw my SmartPhone beneath the wheels of an oncoming vehicle).

But that wouldn’t fix the problem.  And no, before you ask, the problem is the not that I’m jealous.  The problem is that even I had a boyfriend to wax poetic about, I’d be afraid to do it.

I neglected to mention that I received a text from The Wedding Date on Thanksgiving.  It was sweet (as texts from The Wedding Date generally are), flirtatious and—to be completely honest— just a few characters shy of complete cheesiness.

I won’t tell you exactly what it said but it was a variation upon the usual Thanksgiving theme (“What am I thankful for this year?  Well…”) and because I’m a moron, I felt compelled to share it with my brother.

His reaction wasn’t quite what I’d been hoping for (no surprise there, considering my brother’s relationship advice has never comprised anything more than “Dump his sorry *ss”) but I still thought The Wedding Date’s message was sweet, even if I couldn’t bring myself to admit it.

In a recent conversation with Date #7, it was suggested to me that I don’t feel things emotionally.  Instead (according to Date #7) I try to intellectualize everything and although I disagree with the Man from Pittsburgh on a lot of things, I had to admit there was some truth to his observation.

So, getting back to my near death-by-carbon-monoxide poisoning whilst listening to Thelonias Monk in the garage last night:

I get a Facebook message from The Wedding Date.  He says… well, he says something nice.  Something about the way my messages make him feel when he’s had a rough day and before I can help myself, I’ve messaged him back to tell him the feeling’s mutual.

Perhaps there’s hope for me yet.

PS: I’m planning to change the name of this blog from “After I Quit My Day Job” to “Fieldwork in Stilettos.”  Any objections?

24 Responses to “Man Enough to Say “I Like You””

  1. Zak

    Love the new name suggestion.

    And oh, god, I think I might be one of those guys you mentioned. Shit, when did that happen? Uck.

    Hey, on the bright side, the post I was working on this morning was about hiking and travel, at least one of which (and probably both) you enjoy, right?

  2. Rob Rubin

    I think phones, and not men, are your biggest problem. lol. I do find it amusing how nobody is ever happy. Single women desperate to find a man. Married men desperate to be single again. Sometimes I think we would be better off as rabbits.

    Rob, The Mainland

  3. Katie

    Hmm… I don’t think #7 is 100% right. Yes, you intellectualize things a bit more than the average person, but you’re still a girl — we analyze everything. I’m more concerned that an unacknowledged part of you doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship. The writer part. After all, the most interesting characters are always going through shenanigans. Sailing along lake placid doesn’t make for an exciting read. 😉
    Fortunately, I think you’re talented enough to come up with new topics should you decide to allow yourself to be happy and sappy for a second.
    Don’t change the name… You would no longer be at the top of my reader!

    • Kat Richter

      There you go again with your too-close-for-comfort comments 🙂 I have always had difficultly drawing the line between creating drama in my life and creating drama in my work…

      (In fact, I’m no longer going to give you a “Team Wedding Date” t-shirt– now you’re going to have to wear a “Kick*ss comments” t-shirt, lol!)

  4. Susan macbride

    Wedding date is moving up in the ranks, #7 will be no more than a sounding board. Stay cool. Keep the old name

  5. Amanda

    Perhaps Date #7 wants you to focus on your emotions without being too intellectual because that is the only way you will continue dragging things out with him. (Although MY emotions and intellect would have “dumped his sorry *ss” when he stood me up because he couldn’t find a cell phone charger…).

    Thinking and analyzing our emotions could also be called maturity.

  6. chauffeur

    If you gotta go, at least you would have had a decent soundtrack to slip away to.
    But seriously, Please tell me you know that you can listen to the car radio w/out the engine running. Further, I do no know how long it would need to run to do the job. Biodiesel emits so much less CO, no SOX, and other harmful things. You may still be sitting there waiting….and by now there would probably be something lame on NPR.

  7. Meghan

    In all seriousness, I spent every Thanksgiving up until this one completely, 100% single, and I didn’t really feel a difference. I’m not sure what that says about me, but my delusions of grandeur at being someone’s “plus one” on Thanksgiving left me utterly pensive and unable to enjoy the holiday. This also looks to be the first Christmas I spend in a relationship and quite honestly, I feel so much pressure to make it special and perfect that I’m trying to ignore the holiday completely!

    Damned if you do and and damned if you don’t , I guess.

  8. jlillymoon

    I understand the bigger picture here in wishing for a date for the holiday. I can still remember my first Thanksgiving and Christmas with Brian. BUT- also remembers with that…. comes all the wonderful parts of splitting holidays. Being with your so’s parents may not be that bad but bring into the mix the crazy cousins and so on…. At times I would LOVE not to have to deal with anyone on the holidays…. my own family included.

  9. Jill

    Sometimes things happen faster than you think. I was single for a few years of Christmases, New Years, and Valentines, and even through St Patricks Day (I live in the Boston area, it is a big deal) and then BOOM married by Halloween. I vote for the old name.

  10. Lost in France

    SO to start with you say you were waiting for a message from wedding date. This made it sound as though he should have already sent it. Then when he does send it you say he is ahead of schedule!!
    All the way through that epic blog, beautifully written as always, for you not to tell us what the message was.
    As for the new name, sounds great to me.

    • Kat Richter

      Sorry for the confusion– we generally write to each other on an every-other-day basis so even though he was due for a message, I was kind of hoping he’d written anyway!

    • Kat Richter

      Aww- don’t be scared! I mean, yes, my love life is a hot mess right now but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t enjoyed the past year and a half 🙂 (Most of it, anyway…)

      • Lost in France

        So you are looking for a man who lives for the moment, not an ordered and reliable one?

  11. sarahnsh

    I agree with Kate that we do, as women, tend to analyze every little thing a man says especially when we first start dating them and we are trying to figure out if they like us, and if we like them, and what they mean by everything they’re saying.
    I think that the name sounds really cute, though I do still love your original name. Oh, and I love how the Wedding Date is sounding and I know what you mean by sweet things they send. There’s been many a time I’ve caught myself from going “awww” to really study it and say, “Well, that is sweet, but it’s a bit cheesy…”

    • Mark D. White (@profmdwhite)

      Just want to add that some men analyze every little thing too, especially if anything the woman says is vague or seems off, and so it needs to be interpreted. (Silences or gaps in communication included!) Myself, I’m a guy who usually says everything that’s on his mind (with some discretion, of course–at least, I hope!), so I’m always reading to much into what other people say if I suspect they’re not being as forthright.

  12. Debbie

    As far as intellectualizing goes, I find that I get that way when there aren’t a lot of real and true feelings to back things up. It is a sign that things are not as rosy as we might want them to be. I don’t believe that you are lacking in emotions, but are just waiting for the right person to sweep you off your feet. And believe me…when that happens all forms of intellect go out the window…


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