A week from today, I’ll be off to Pittsburgh and on my way to spend the weekend with Date #7. This means that between now and then, I need to start laundering my extensive collection of Victoria Secret undergarments (all two of them) and finish correcting my tan (remember when I fried myself to a crisp in Miami this past winter? Well my derrière is still a luminescent white in comparison to rest of me and this irks me to no end as I have a sneaking suspicion that it glows in the dark.)
Of course, I have no idea if Date #7 and I will even reach the point where the color (or lack of color) on my backside will become evident, and something tells me that if we do, he probably won’t give a flying f*ck about it, but its August and I’m 25 years old. I want to be tan.
(Within the confines of proper UV protection, of course.)
It’s been ages since I’ve spent the weekend with a man. I almost don’t remember how to do it. There’s so much to pack, so many minor vanities to take care of and conceal as best one can. Fortunately Date #7 lives alone so there won’t be any roommates to contend with but still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a wee bit nervous.
Fortunately, my Stickiest Situations Sweepstakes came with a free stick of Mitchum’s new Advanced Control 48 Hour Strength and Protection for Yours Truly so at least I’ll be covered in the deodorant department. And although I’m not required (or paid) to say this, I’m actually quite impressed with it so far. I’ve always been self conscious about how much I sweat—when my co-producer and I debuted our duet at the Philly Tap Challenge back in June, I had to take a shower after performing one three-minute routine. I go sleeveless on the majority of my dates because I cannot tolerate pit stains (even typing the word “pit” make me shudder). But now that’s less of a concern, thanks to my trusty new deodorant, which means my wardrobe options for my weekend in Pittisburgh are greatly expanded…
In truth, I hate packing. I’m always afraid I’m going to forget something essential and even though I’m just going to Pittsburgh (which is neither out of the country nor even out of the state) I’m already constructing a rather lengthy mental checklist.
A few years ago, I read a magazine article that said when you’re going out for the evening you should always bring a tooth brush and a clean pair of underwear, just in case you don’t quite make it back home. (Clean underwear, the magazine advised, would make the inevitable wall of shame much less shameful.)
This seemed a sensible enough premise so when I went to Norway for a conference when I was in grad school , I brought my new black clutch specifically because it had a zippered pocket on the inside that was the perfect size to conceal a toothbrush and a pair of undies.
Did I remember to bring them with me on my first night out in Trondheim?
Of course not.
Did I remember to bring them with me on my second night out in Trondheim?
Of course not.
Did I remember to bring them with me on my third night out in Trondheim?
And of course it was this night—the one night that I was prepared—that I was left to spend the night in the youth hostel with my all-female classmates. (Fortunately I’ve forgiven the bachelor responsible for my disappointment, although he’s never quite forgiven himself, a fact that satisfies me to no end.)
In any event, I’ve decided that preparation is actually the kiss of death, which goes hand in hand with my theory that the time one spends getting ready for a date is actually inversely proportional to the amount of enjoyment one will experience.
So I’m thinking about packing. But not too much— which is why I need your help: anything I should be sure to bring with me for my weekend in Pittsburgh? You know, aside from like 27 pairs of shoes and 18 shades of lipstick?
(Note: I don’t actually own 18 shades of lipstick. I’m down to three actually, but you get the picture.)
Have you survived a sticky situation of your own? If so, share your story for a chance to win one of two $150 gift certificates to a department store of YOUR CHOICE, courtesy of Mitchum and their new Love Thy Pits campaign! To enter, simply comment here on my blog or here on my Facebook page between now and August 10th– no purchase necessary. Winners will be announced on August 11th.