Writing left handed

The Countdown Begins

luggageA week from today, I’ll be off to Pittsburgh and on my way to spend the weekend with Date #7.  This means that between now and then, I need to start laundering my extensive collection of Victoria Secret undergarments (all two of them) and finish correcting my tan (remember when I fried myself to a crisp in Miami this past winter?  Well my derrière is still a luminescent white in comparison to rest of me and this irks me to no end as I have a sneaking suspicion that it glows in the dark.)

Of course, I have no idea if Date #7 and I will even reach the point where the color (or lack of color) on my backside will become evident, and something tells me that if we do, he probably won’t give a flying f*ck about it, but its August and I’m 25 years old.  I want to be tan.

(Within the confines of proper UV protection, of course.)

It’s been ages since I’ve spent the weekend with a man.  I almost don’t remember how to do it.  There’s so much to pack, so many minor vanities to take care of and conceal as best one can.  Fortunately Date #7 lives alone so there won’t be any roommates to contend with but still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a wee bit nervous.

Fortunately, my Stickiest Situations Sweepstakes came with a free stick of Mitchum’s new Advanced Control 48 Hour Strength and Protection for Yours Truly so at least I’ll be covered in the deodorant department.  And although I’m not required (or paid) to say this, I’m actually quite impressed with it so far.  I’ve always been self conscious about how much I sweat—when my co-producer and I debuted our duet at the Philly Tap Challenge back in June, I had to take a shower after performing one three-minute routine.  I go sleeveless on the majority of my dates because I cannot tolerate pit stains (even typing the word “pit” make me shudder).  But now that’s less of a concern, thanks to my trusty new deodorant, which means my wardrobe options for my weekend in Pittisburgh are greatly expanded…


In truth, I hate packing.  I’m always afraid I’m going to forget something essential and even though I’m just going to Pittsburgh (which is neither out of the country nor even out of the state) I’m already constructing a rather lengthy mental checklist.

A few years ago, I read a magazine article that said when you’re going out for the evening you should always bring a tooth brush and a clean pair of underwear, just in case you don’t quite make it back home.  (Clean underwear, the magazine advised, would make the inevitable wall of shame much less shameful.)

This seemed a sensible enough premise so when I went to Norway for a conference when I was in grad school , I brought my new black clutch specifically because it had a zippered pocket on the inside that was the perfect size to conceal a toothbrush and  a pair of undies.

Did I remember to bring them with me on my first night out in Trondheim?

Of course not.

Did I remember to bring them with me on my second night out in Trondheim?

Of course not.

Did I remember to bring them with me on my third night out in Trondheim?


And of course it was this night—the one night that I was prepared—that I was left to spend the night in the youth hostel with my all-female classmates.  (Fortunately I’ve forgiven the bachelor responsible for my disappointment, although he’s never quite forgiven himself, a fact that satisfies me to no end.)

In any event, I’ve decided that preparation is actually the kiss of death, which goes hand in hand with my theory that the time one spends getting ready for a date is actually inversely proportional to the amount of enjoyment one will experience.

So I’m thinking about packing.  But not too much— which is why I need your help: anything I should be sure to bring with me for my weekend in Pittsburgh?  You know, aside from like 27 pairs of shoes and 18 shades of lipstick?

(Note: I don’t actually own 18 shades of lipstick.  I’m down to three actually, but you get the picture.)

Love Thy PitsHave you survived a sticky situation of your own?  If so, share your story for a chance to win one of two $150 gift certificates to a department store of YOUR CHOICE, courtesy of Mitchum and their new Love Thy Pits campaign!  To enter, simply comment here on my blog or here on my Facebook page between now and August 10th– no purchase necessary.  Winners will be announced on August 11th.

6 Responses to “The Countdown Begins”

  1. Zak

    “I have a sneaking suspicion that it glows in the dark” – ironically, I heard this about a slightly different body part over the weekend. They didn’t glow in the dark. I didn’t mind. I would’ve been impressed if they did, actually.

    As to things to bring: you, your good attitude, one really nice dress and pair of heels/shoes, a couple pairs of jeans/shorts/whatever you like to wear and some comfortable shirts, sneakers, etc. A pair of cute sleeping shorts and a t-shirt are the most you should ever need, should you be spending the evening in bed with a gentleman.

    Add a toothbrush, always one more pair of underwear than you planned, your deodorant, favorite perfume, toothbrush, hairbrush, make-up if you like wearing make-up, phone, charger, wallet/purse, lip balm (ladies seem to love this shit), sunglasses… and that’s about it. Really! Anything else is flourish and he either has it, you won’t need it, or it won’t matter in the end.

  2. Philly Tap Teaser

    My weekends alone with a man are also few and far between. Said man has also never cared what I wear, so I’m definitely the wrong person to ask about what to bring for a weekend excursion with a new romantic interest. I am a fan of packing super-light in the clothing department. If I absolutely need something that I didn’t bring, I just see it as an excuse to go shopping! In fact, I bought the most amazing shoes in Pittsburgh, when my friend got married there a few years ago: black, pointy-toed, patent-leather Steve Madden stiilettos. I wore them to the ground! So, all if all else fails, go shoe shopping.

  3. aka gringita

    Sorry. I have no idea what one packs, or how one prepares, for a weekend with a guy. You say you “almost forget how” and I’m hoping you’ll write the primer for us before you go. You know… in the interest of (m)anthropology.

  4. Jill

    Interestingly, I am packing for two separate two-nights-away trips. Alone. ALONE. I have not been away overnight without either a child or the man responsible for the child(ren) since June of 2005. I am completely at a loss. Oh, and you want to bring a camera & laptop, because if we have to go 72 hours without a post of any kind there’s going to be trouble. (only partly kidding)

  5. sarahnsh

    Don’t pack too much, guys never seem to care what you’re wearing and can be impressed with anything as long as you’re in the clothes, it generally works for them. So, don’t get too crazy with what to bring and definitely have a toothbrush, hairbrush, PJs, all that jazz.

  6. Lincoln

    I kind of have to agree with Sarahnsh… at least from the guys perspective, if I’m having a good time what you’re wearing/not wearing have taned/not taned will probably not be noticed, much less make an impression. Now if I’m not “in the moment” chances are I will remember more about the tangibles…but…

    Speaking of pits, have fun in PIT [airport code; most locals seem to use PGH, which I’ve never understood]. I’m a bit more partial to Philadelphia, but PIT is pretty nice. I say that despite the fact that living in Cleveland I am legally obligated to hate Pittsburgh, and hate Pittsburgh with a passion. I’m going to stop myself before i go on a I ❤ Cleveland tangent.


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