These Boots Were Made for (Jay)walking

jaywalking

Puh-lease...

It took me a long time to figure out that being a girl comes with certain powers (and by a “long time” I mean approximately 24.5 years so this is still rather new for me).  Sure, I’ve flirted my way to a drink or two over the years, and I’ve started to accept help with my luggage when I’m traveling but I’ve never been able to talk my way out of a speeding ticket or into a nightclub simply by virtue of my sex.

(Then again I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket but I’m pretty sure you have to be at least “C” cup to talk your way out of a citation.)

Nonetheless, I’ve recently discovered that being a girl—even a flat-chested girl—does enable one to get away with certain things.

Radical things.

Dangerous things.

Extreme things.

Thing such as jaywalking.

I may not have cleavage but I do have legs and this time of year, they’re out in full force.  When walking into Center City, I used to stop at every corner and wait my turn to cross the street but about a month ago I realized something: a male driver will always stop a wait for a girl to cross the street, even if he has the right of way.

I’ve been testing this theory for the past several weeks and I’m still alive so obviously I’m onto something.

My mom is a total rule follower (and a bit of a wimp about jaywalking) and I keep telling her, “Mom, you’re a woman.  You’re wearing a skirt.  The man driving that car would much rather stop and watch you cross the street in front of him than run you over.  Trust me.”

She always replies, “Yeah, but you’re young and cute.  They don’t want to run you over.”   She then waits dutifully on the corner while I stride brazenly into the street and give the drivers my very best firm-yet-flirtatious “Don’t f*ck with me” look.

It works every time.

Recently, however, my dad relayed a conversation he had with my mom while they were crossing the street.  Evidently they were walking home from Old City when they reached the intersection at about the same time as a car that was making a turn from the opposite direction.  My dad is a master jaywalker, and my mom is getting better, so they decided to go for it.  The driver (a female) gave them a nasty look, which prompted the following discussion on street crossing etiquette.

My dad: She should have let us cross first.

My mom: Yes.

My dad: We’re the pedestrians.  We had the right of way.

My mom: Yes, but if you were driving would you have let us cross?

(My dad is notorious for California stops whenever he reaches an intersection and his driving habits inspire frequent… discussions in the Richter household.)

My dad went on to explain that his willingness to stop depends on the pedestrian.

“If it’s raining, if they’re old, if they’re pushing a baby carriage or if it’s a couple walking together, I stop.  If not, they can wait.”

They can wait?

This puts a bit of a damper on my “girls in skirts can jaywalk whenever they want” theory because I’m neither old nor pushing a baby carriage nor am I currently part of a couple.  In fact, if I do end up getting run over, it will probably be by my own dad (unless of course it’s raining, in which case I might live to tell.)

So ladies (and gents), for today’s question: What have you managed to get away with over the years thanks to your sex and/or good looks?  (If I do indeed survive the summer, I’d like to branch off from jaywalking so I’m looking for something to which I can aspire.)

16 Responses to “These Boots Were Made for (Jay)walking”

  1. Zak

    “I may not have cleavage but I do have legs and this time of year, they’re out in full force.”

    To borrow something you said yesterday, “I knew I liked you.” Not every guy is focused on cleavage, and if I was a cop writing you a ticket, you should know legs would get you out of that citation.

    You dad may have run down his list, but I’d be willing to bet he’d stop if someone such as himself walked into the street. I frequently jaywalk and I’ve learned it’s all about confidence. If you look like you own that stretch of road, no matter what, someone will stop for you (unless they’re more Alpha-dog, then run!).

    I’ll have to think more about what you aspire to. Right now the thought of a leggy woman crossing the street has me a little flumoxed.

    Reply
  2. Zak

    Clearly my lack of English skills is evident, thus making my point…

    Reply
  3. Amanda

    Back in December 2001 (which is relevent because it was barely 3 months after 9/11), my friend Angie and I talked our way onto a Navy base at about 3am. We were driving a couple of cute sailors home from the bar and the guys were about to get out of the car to walk from the entrance gate back to their barracks (or whatever, I’m not military). They were half out of the car but I grabbed them and said, “just watch.” Angie was blond and beautiful and southern and just kept talking to the guard until they let us through. Our sailors were rather surprised it worked. Post 9/11, the bases were pretty much locked down but no man could resist Angie’s southern charm.

    Reply
    • Zak

      I was once in Seattle with two coworkers – one was Ms. Pink (http://slowdownson.wordpress.com/tag/ms-pink/) actually. Both were very attractive. We went to Pike’s Market and started walking around. Everything was fun until we got back and the car was missing. Or rather, towed. So, we called the place and they said they had our vehicle, it was a short walk away.

      On the way there, I said something like you know what you have to do, right?, and both girls started unbuttoning their shirts, making sure their make-up was good, etc. They were ready to flirt us out of a towing ticket. Except, it was an old hag who was PISSED behind the counter. The girls both turned to me with sad faces and said sorry.

      Reply
  4. Debbie

    Me…nothing that I am aware of… But my friend Shyla (who can look her worst and men still flock to her…) once got a VERY expensive tire just by flirting. I was like watching a master at work… I should have taken notes – such as “when going to buy an expensive tire, wear a push up bra, low cut shirt, kitten heels, and short skirt”. I have a feeling that even if I did do all of that I would feel so awkward that it wouldn’t work. Some people have just got “it”!

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Haha, I will admit that I totally changed into a short skirt and heels when I had to get my check engine light looked at last week 🙂

      Reply
  5. Katie

    Sigh. I have a “C” cup. That did not stop me from getting a speeding ticket. On a military installation. While driving a government vehicle. I even had to take a class.

    Sigh.

    Reply
  6. mydatingprescription

    Back when I was your age and in tremendous shape, I got stopped for driving 95 mph on I-90 through Moses Lake, WA. Back then, I was 5′-10″, blonde, 150 lbs, and yes, a C cup, who liked to wear 6 pack-baring sport tops. It also happened to be my birthday. I should have been carted off to jail for reckless driving, but the trooper wrote me a ticket for 10 over and wished me a “Happy Birthday.”

    Reply
  7. jennywintersconsulting

    Last year on my 40th birthday, I was stopped by a cop for talking on my cell phone. I was close to a Size 4 then, 32D, and I have blue eyes that I can bat at will. My blouse was pretty low cut that day.

    So dude comes up to me and goes to write me a ticket. I gazed at him, explaining that it was my BIRTHday and maybe he could PLEASE reconsider?

    A minute later, he hands me the ticket saying, “Next time, remember to wear your seat belt” (a much lesser charge).

    And then he pauses.

    I wait.

    The cop smiles shyly. “And can I be your birthday present?”

    Reply
  8. sarahnsh

    Yeah, cup size is not an issue but I still got my first ticket and didn’t turn on the flirt… I was so ticked off and even more so when he asked me for my license. I told him I never had a ticket and it still didn’t work, so I don’t know how to flirt myself out of bad situations. But, I do walk whenever I want to and that car is going to stop for me.

    Reply
  9. Lost in France

    Unless you have to get out of the car to recieve a speeding ticket, your legs may not work.

    but for crossing the road they are a real asset, however as has been mentioned, us males are not all about the up size.

    Reply
  10. Landlord

    nada, I got nothin’, but then, again I am the rule follower 😉

    Reply
  11. Fiercely Yours

    Mind control. It’s really just my charm and cobra like stare, but I can talk people into doing absurd things just for fun. Like stripping naked, running into a busy restaurant and stealing their biggest plant for body coverage. Unleash your power.

    Reply

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