The difference between a man and a manuscript…
Very hard. The answer to yesterday’s question, for those of you still interested, is very hard. To break through the sarcasm I’ve adopted in order to chronicle this “experiment,” to ignore all of the “empirical data” I’ve collected over the past ten months, to let go of the “perfect” sentence in favor of the imperfections that comprise reality, to remember that I’m dealing with a human being here and not a manuscript…
No wonder I spent all afternoon in a funk, guzzling coffee and running through reams of stationary like most people run through toilet paper.
But I did it.
I wrote to Date #7 and attempted to convey plainly and without embellishment exactly what I am feeling, because as a very wise woman once told me, writing is not about perfect sentences, it’s about communicating.
(Okay, I did allow myself a wee bit of embellishment—embellishment is what I do!—but I did start off with something that was very heartfelt and difficult for me to say because as Date #7 himself keeps telling me, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”)
I expect that by this time next week I’ll be either happily married or suicidal. Or swearing off men all together and attempting to become a lesbian. Or maybe I’ll take up knitting and start adopting cats because really, at this point spinsterhood seems to be the only alternative.
(I know, I know… I’m only 25. But my 26th birthday is just around the corner and there is no way in hell I’m putting myself through an experiment of this magnitude ever again. Unless I move back to London at some point in time. Then I’d have to do it, for the sake of cross-cultural comparison. And science. I mean really, it would be for the good of humanity—the advancement of knowledge, if you will. In fact, it would be negligent of me not to continue my “fieldwork” in the UK… unless of course Date #7 was there with me… in which case it might be a bit awkward. But let’s cross that bridge when we get there, shall we?)
In the meantime, I have a problem— a problem even bigger than my inability to write a sincere and coherent letter to the man who may or may not be the love of my life:
I can’t write about dating anymore.
It’s different now; it’s real now—not that the others weren’t real (Remember He Might Be a Sugar Daddy? You couldn’t make that shit up!)—but I’ve reached a point where I’m getting uncomfortable posting the details of my personal life on the internet.
And I don’t know what else to write about.
I don’t like to cook. I don’t have funny co-workers or a bitchy boss. I don’t hate my job. I don’t have any great travel plans for the summer because I’ll be working on the show I’m co-producing for the Fringe from now until September 8th. I don’t even have preschoolers telling me knock-knock jokes this time of year!
I know if I stop writing about dating, my blog will shrivel up and die and when that happens I really will become suicidal but seriously, how many ex-boyfriend stories do you want to hear?
Maybe I should start doing guest posts?
Or travel writing of the armchair variety?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!
I think it’s probably time for another poll…
Fieldwork in Stilettos 
26 Responses to “The difference between a man and a manuscript…”
Girl, your writing style could make anything interesting! You could write about what you ate for breakfast for all I care, and I’m sure I’d still show up at your blog and read every word 🙂 Don’t stress about what to write– just write! I am sure the inspiration will come and the words will flow 🙂
Thanks Hannah– maybe I really SHOULD do a post on bananas and Kashi Go Lean Crunch 🙂
I rather enjoy your Writing Wednesday…maybe you can do themed posts? I write about relationships…just not my own. Maybe that might work for you. I like the way you write. I’m sure you’ll come up with something that lends itself to your style. 🙂
Good to know– I wasn’t sure if anyone aside from me liked Writing Wednesday, so maybe I’ll keep it!
Date #7 has changed your outlook on writing about your dates. YAY, you actually care about a guy enough not to write about him. So exciting.
You could always pick up a job at “the shop” again…to further your Anthropological research.
Chauffeur said the same thing– perish the thought!
Okay, nowhere — and I mean nowhere on your blog have you advertised it as strictly a dating blog. In fact, your tagline names life and literature before love, and since the word love is also tied in with “The City of Brotherly,” you don’t even explicitly say you’ll talk about dating at all.
I agree with the others — you can write about whatever you want. Sure, readers like hearing the dating stuff because it’s dramatic and usually makes for interesting stories, but it’s like others have said — I’m sure you could make your morning breakfast interesting if you want. Philly sounds like such an interesting city, so write more about that! You say you live at home at 25, and that has to make for some interesting stories (based on the assumptions people must automatically make).
Also, you can write about relationships without going into the specifics of your own. For example, when I was picking fights with Justin for no reason, rather than go into all that on my blog, I wrote that piece for Simply Solo about Cinderella being jaded and people throwing rocks into their placid relationship lakes. Or something like that. As Dennis would like to say, it’s the “Carrie Bradshaw Approach.” You take something happening in your own life and turn it into a type of editorial piece that still protects those with whom you’re close. We readers still get our drama and insight, and your friends and great loves still get their privacy. Everybody wins! 😉
Right… Carrie Bradshaw. Yes. Better get myself a Mac and some skimpy tops 🙂
Why not do something like you started before: write about relationships on specific days, but other things (single male friends, life, etc) on other days?
I think you could keep it interesting, pull it off, etc easily.
I would love to see the woman you will be in 10 years… i think you will be much more complicated… you are critical of yourself in strange ways currently and you’ve got plenty of time to grow…
90% of my subscribers and readers are single females… i have been gathering ideas and data from their reactions to dating and how they manage themselves after the events start to unfold… being a statistician has it’s perks… i have been trending comments, other blogs, chronicals of single females who are dating, for quite some time… You are a fun girl…you have a lot to offer…i do, however think you’re a bit too tough on yourself…
Maybe it’s time to just relax and breathe a bit…don’t analyze….just enjoy hanging with people….develop frendships wih guys and see if those friendships can blossom instead of looking at men for the end-game.
Just a couple of ideas to throw at you….
T.
Relax? Haha– that word isn’t quite part of my vocabulary but I’ll take this into advisement 🙂
Publish your novel in handy installments and then leave us in suspense so we buy the book!
Maybe you could do a book blog. You clearly love them and know them and there are many, many successful book blogs out there with legions of faithful followers. They run the gamut from the Bookish Librarian and Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Even for a short period of time or at intervals I’ll bet there’s quite a few of your readers who would follow you.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking a bit about this actually– but then I’d have to… you know… actually read books!
You know what I remember most about you, Kat? It was when you ran straight into the center of the Gay Pride Parade in Philly and started hugging people. You Love People. You interact with people. You wrote about your experiences with a mutual friend in one of your posts and I loved it…and that wasn’t romantic. You are a keen observer.
You love people, and their quirks and their lumps.
Write about them?
Wow Jenny– I had completely forgotten about that! You know I never really thought of myself a much of a “people person” but I’m starting to think there are different ways to be a people person… speaking of people, can’t wait to see your wedding photos!
Why do you think I only (tend to) write about stuff that happened to me in the past?
Well I was hoping for blogs from the lesbian knitting circle you could set up to fill in your spare time. LOL
Not that you actually seem to have any.
I think it’s time for Tech Support to start doing some field work . . . 😉
LOVE THIS 😉
This so needs a “LIKE” button!
You’ll never run out of things to talk about if you focus just on relationships. Foibles, difficulties, compromises, lessons learned, etc.
You are too funny. Who are you kidding? You MUST write – if not about dating, then about skunks or something. Face it, you have no choice 🙂
This, Jess, is the only thing in life of which I am absolutely certain 🙂
[…] few minutes last week (and no I’m no exaggerating) and oh yeah—that minor love letter, plus the literary masterpiece I attempted to compose in response, but I hadn’t actually heard his voice for […]