My 50th Date (and an Extremely Urgent Lesson)

Tokyo Sushi (this time without the Norwegian)

Right.  About that 50th date.  This would be the point where, if I was writing a book, I’d go all philosophical and launch into some bittersweet, Hallmark movie explanation about how I’d embarked upon a journey to find love but (cue sappy music) found myself instead.

But I’m not writing a book.

Not about dating.

At least not yet.  I do have some delusions of grandeur (and writing the great American novel) to maintain.

I did, however, learn something very important on my 50th date.  Something crucial—something that will be of great use to all you singletons out there and will make the happily coupled amongst you wonder how you even managed to snag yourself a soul mate without the knowledge I’m about lay down.

(Yeah, I’m all about layin’ down the knowledge after Saturday’s photo shoot.  Who knew an exposed brick wall, a BCBG dress and an appropriately gangta pose could make me look like such a bad*ss?)

Anyway, get out your notebooks because this is going to change your life.

Ready?

A life lesson from Kat’s Hard Knocks Skool of Dating (and yes, that’s “skool” with a “k.”  I’m gangsta now).

My first cafe mocha of the day...

If you’re meeting a man for sushi and order wine with your meal, do not proceed to then “grab a coffee” and “head to Rittenhouse Square” without first availing yourself of the restroom.

Especially if you’ve been “pre-gaming” at Good Karma in the Gayborhood (by which I mean enjoying your first of several café mochas).

Why not?

Well, because you’ll find yourself sitting in Rittenhouse Square thinking What a lovely day, and that was a rather lovely California roll and—oh my God, I have to pee!

Rittenhouse Square

You’ll try to concentrate on other things such as Hmmm… he has rather nice eyes.  I wonder if those are contact lenses or… is there a restroom in this park?

This is not the first time I’ve found myself thus, er, distressed in Rittenhouse.

Rittenhouse has come to comprise the epicenter of my dating career.

In fact, I’ve put together a little map for the geographically minded amongst you which I hope you’ll appreciate because it took me 45 minutes to figure out how to plot my Center City dates on Google maps (yes, it’s interactive):

Having dined north, east and west of the Square, you would think I’d have learned by now.  After all, a girl who’s gone on 50 dates should know that when it comes to coffee, you need to pre-game or post-game, not both.

(“Should” being the operative word here.)

I did my best to hold it and spent the next hour crossed legged in the Square thinking, Well now, won’t my readers be proud of me?  My 50th date is just barely taller-than-me-in-heels, he’s an entire month younger than me and he’s neither a Pre-Raphaelite nor an Impressionist.  How’s that for breaking the mold? 

I’m branching out!

I’m learning from past mistakes!

I’m dating someone normal.  I’m—holy sh*t, if I don’t make it home within the next ten minutes, my bladder is going to explode.

And so it was that I found myself basically sprinting the thirty blocks that lie between my parent’s place and Rittenhouse Square.  Clearly my Hallmark moment is still a long way off.

18 Responses to “My 50th Date (and an Extremely Urgent Lesson)”

  1. Zak

    Now I have a desire to go map out my dates… shoot.

    So, is there a second date in the works? A 51st?

    Reply
  2. mairedubhtx

    A good piece of advice–if you think maybe you should go even if you don’t have to, GO. You will never regret it and you will enjoy things more. Sounds like the date was good, though. Congratulations.

    Reply
  3. Ted

    Its always hard to find a bathroom in the Rittenhouse square area.

    How was the 50th? Sounds good so far.

    Reply
  4. sarahnsh

    I’m just like you, I never excuse myself to the bathroom. I hate to break the moment! Whatever moment that may be… so, I’ve been in that position before, you just cross your legs and start running once you get out of their sight!

    Reply
  5. shoutabyss

    I think you make a very important point. You should have put in more pre-game planning regarding rest stops. And remember once you get to the line of scrimmage you can audible if needed.

    Me? No worries. I can go days without worries.

    Coffee may not be as bad as people seem to think, but it is a slightly more effective diuretic than plain water, so factor that in!

    I’m assuming it’s not the best sign that you didn’t mention if you had a good time or not. But your description of the fellow sounds encouraging!

    Reply
  6. Kate Ferguson Writes

    Ah, you are a strategic blogger, storing up that 50th date story for another post and diverting us indtead with amusing anecdotes on the subject of laxitives 🙂 Very much enjoyed!!

    Reply
  7. Kate Ferguson Writes

    Ah, you are a strategic blogger, storing up that 50th date story for another post and diverting us indtead with amusing anecdotes on the subject of laxitives 🙂 Very much enjoyed!!

    Reply
  8. Landlord

    Depending on the time of day, there are several possible WC’s nearby: Comcast bldg, Liberty Place, OUR gym, and there are always the hospitals, the galleria, Reading Mkt, a little farther a field, but better than all the way back home…and you can fake your way into the Continental, Metropolitan, etc., they’re nicer than most bars–LOL, this usually happens to ME!

    Reply
  9. Lalilights

    I like to think that the need to pee, is not the worst part, sometimes it becomes a bit of an adventure being stuck somewhere and saying: I have to use the restroom. Then you both wander around and look for one, or -worse case scenerio- you are so sick of the guy and you need a moment to think: how do I get out of this?

    So I enjoy, those moments when my bladder needs me, it helps me think if this is going somewhere or not.

    In my eyes, restroom equals MUST!

    I may not have a boyfriend, but I have plenty of funny -and some not so funny- stories to tell.

    XD

    Reply
  10. Emma

    Am I the only who is more concerned about you running into your old dates rather than using the bathroom? I mean…you could be walking through that square and bump into 5 guys! Classy.

    Reply

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