Single on the Superbowl- Thank Goodness!

I was planning to post the final installment of my Valentine’s Day horror stories today but on account of yesterday having been the sporting event of the year, I felt I ought to hold off and attempt to write something about the Superbowl.

Unfortunately I know absolutely nothing about football.  I don’t understand the appeal, I don’t understand the scoring and I certainly don’t understand why the players seem to spend the majority of the game rolling around on the ground.

I’d hoped to find myself in possession of a football-loving boyfriend by now—not because I’m overly anxious to develop an actual understanding of the game (I’ve already been through this with European football) but because I’ve been dying to try my hand at a few of Rachel Ray’s tailgate recipes and a Superbowl party would provide the perfect motivation.

Nonetheless, there’s something to be said for being single on the Superbowl.  Ten somethings, actually.

1)      You don’t have to pretend that you care about the score, nor do you have to squander valuable brain cells on remembering which two teams are actually playing in the Superbowl.

2)      You can pay more attention to the commercials than the game.  (Wasn’t the one with pug and the Doritos fantastic?)

3)      You can concentrate on giving yourself a manicure without worrying about missing the action.

4)      You can pour yourself a martini once your nails are dry.

5)      You can drink martinis without feeling stupid for not drinking beer.

6)      You can spend game day bonding with your dad.

7)      You can further bond with your dad by asking all sorts of important questions about the game (such as “Why are they wearing those stupid looking loincloth things between their legs?” and “Who’s been drinking my Godiva liquor?”)

8)      You can pretend to be a sportscaster without the risk of embarrassing your boyfriend in front of his friends.

9)      You don’t have to place bets on the outcome of the game.  (The last time I placed a bet on the outcome of the Superbowl, I lost.  The conditions were such that I had to give my then-boyfriend a full body massage complete with an ocean wave soundtrack of his choosing playing in the background.  I don’t mind giving massages but the ocean CD made me want to slit my wrists.)

10)   You can work out until it’s time for the Halftime Show.  Not that I did—I was too busy drinking martinis and painting my nails to bother with my usual round of crunches—but I could have, had I wanted to, and if that’s not a good enough reason to hope I’ll be single for next year’s Superbowl too, I don’t know what is.

4 Responses to “Single on the Superbowl- Thank Goodness!”

  1. chauffeur

    I imagine your Dad enjoyed watching the game with you, despite questions, (how did his kids miss the “sports gene”), and even thought you did not make any of Rachel Ray’s recipes.
    There is always next year and next year’s recipes too. Plus the best thing about the superbowl if your team is not in it…… Spring training is only 3 weeks away!

  2. Your Landlord

    We are too busy preparing for the Oscars to worry about the super bowl festivities. That said, the half time show was not one of the best—and it went entirely too long, having to stay up until midnight to watch Glee…The only reason why I know a bit more about the sport than you do, is because in my high school you HAD to watch the games or there was absolutely NOTHING to do on the weekends if you weren’t old enough to have your license. Last year was more fun too because of the New Orleans Saints, this year it just wasn’t as dramatic for me.

  3. Whitney

    Haha! Those are great reason to be single for the Superbowl. In my family, I’m actually the one who loves football, and my husband couldn’t possibly care any less =) Very cute blog!


  4. Canti

    Yes! Spring Training is soooooooooooo soon! Pitchers & catches start as early as the thirteenth!

    Just the thought of spring training warms the cockles of my icy heart 🙂


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