Writing left handed

And… the Results Are In!

Once upon a time (1978), in a land far, far away (upstate New York) there lived a young princess.  In truth, she was not a real princess, rather, an Alpha Lamda Phi sorority girl, and she was determined to throw the greatest party in SUNY Cobleskill history.

She called her boyfriend to tell him the good news: We’re having a toga party!

But he, being a rather foolish creature, was too busy studying.

But it’s a TOGA party! She insisted.  The best party Alpha Lamda Phi has ever thrown!  Did I mention you get to wear a toga?

Despite his love of Animal House, he remained steadfast in his resolve (something about his physics professor excusing the top three students from their final exams).  He attempted to convince the young sorority girl that by studying for this exam, he could skip the next one, thereby earning himself an extra three days off for the holidays to spend with her.

What he did not take into account was that she was studying horticulture, and that florists are in rather high demand around the Christmas holiday.

I’ll be working, she reminded him, and went off to endure they greatest party in SUNY Cobleskill history without her boyfriend.

She has never let him forget that he missed the Alpha Lamba Phi Toga Party, even though he did indeed score high enough on his exam to be exempt from the final.  I know this because the sorority girl in question was my mother, the studious boyfriend my father, and the story comes up rather a lot in the Richter household.

For example (do you see where I’m going with this?) when I mentioned that Date #17 had declined my invitation to the annual Hooper’s Island Black Friday Martini Bar Soiree, my dad shook his head and asked, “Do you want me to call him up and tell him the toga party story?”

I did not (want my dad to call Date #17 and tell him the toga party story, that is) but the tale of my mother’s woe took on new meaning  for me this past weekend when I was forced to endure martinis and Chesapeake sunsets without a date.

I suppose I could have invited the Man from Marshalls but I have learned from past experience that a bad date is worse than no date at all (and given my knack for entering into heated political “discussions” with the Man from Marshalls, I can only imagine what would have happened when I introduced him to my father).

And so instead, I went for a jog (making it an entire mile and a half before my lungs threatened to collapse), baked ginger snap cookies and made a new place card for our neighbor’s son’s new girlfriend out of regulation Martini Bar Soiree glitter.

To his credit, Date #17 did call me several times over the weekend (not because he was in a particularly chatty mood but because cell phone service is rather temperamental in the middle of nowhere).  He explained that actually, he had to work on Black Friday, which struck me as completely preposterous seeing as he has a respectable job that does not involve catering to the hordes of holiday shoppers desperate to start burning through their credit cards at 4:00am.

But of course there remains the issue of Date #17’s ambition, as manifested in his rather enviable-yet-infuriating dedication to his GMATs— hence my dad’s offer to call him and say, “Dude, trust me on this one.  Come to the party or you’ll never hear the end of it.”

The way I see it, I have three options:

1)      Dump his sorry ass (this is always my brother’s advice, but my brother’s actually met Date #17, and actually likes him, so he’s advised me against my usual M.O. in this particular case) and give up on the prospect of meeting anyone decent here in Philadelphia,

2)      Get over myself, accept that to some people, there are more important things than the annual Hooper’s Island Black Friday Martini Bar Soiree and give Date #17 another chance, or,

3)      Ask Santa for a new subscription to Match.com for Christmas.

11 Responses to “And… the Results Are In!”

    • Kat Richter

      Okay, okay, I will consider giving him one more chance. But only one! Good thing I’m actually a hopeless romantic at heart… 🙂

  1. Julie

    Stumbled across your blog and absolutely love your writing. I also recently started dating someone that is very busy with lots of study time required (med school). I am on the fence here – if he can’t throw caution to the wind and sacrifice some personal time in the beginning/fun/exciting stage of a relationship, will he ever be able too? Just my two cents. Good luck!

    • Kat Richter

      How true! The honeymoon period supposed to be all about fun and spontaneity! I suspect that the next 24 hours will be quite telling… Hang in there with your med student. I dated one early on in my “experiment” and spent a lot of time going “Seriously? You’re going to bed at 9:00pm because you have class in the morning???”

  2. Your Landlord

    It WAS the best party in SUNY Cobleskill history, the photos are in someone’s attic somewhere…I had a great time even without my “boyfriend”! Alas the sorority is no longer, I don’t think they could keep up with the class of ’79. But oh, yeah eyes back to you–not sure what to tell you as at least your father did have a fairly good track record beforehand…not sure about #17’s track record so far?

  3. chauffeur

    follow up for the landlord’s post…. Your father had a fairly good track record up to that point, and an exceptional track record after that famous party that is still talked about. So he learned from his act of omission. I would give no 17 a very brief chance to up his game and learn the same lesson, otherwise…. ask Santa for 3 more mos.

  4. Jill

    2. Check out the Khan Academy for a story of what one spouse of a med student did to avoid being less productive than she. The rest of us are just slackers. But that’s not why he gets another chance.

  5. wordofsoia

    Totally Love your “Landlords” contribution to the comments on your blog 🙂
    Well , the Soiree is over, the exams must be coming to a close.Im hoping he has decided to dedicate some quality time to you over the christmas break.
    Also out of curiousity , sorry to throw another wide ball your way, BUT have you approached the whole do I buy him a gift for christmas? Will he get me one for christmas? What happens if I buy for him and he doesnt buiy for me ? and vice versa. Because that is going to be another blog tale all in itself.

  6. Ashley

    I can’t believe that after this whole time, you still ending up going alone. 😦

    Well, now you won’t feel the pressure to get a date for that event anymore.

    Now you’ll know if you were just putting up with Date #17 or if you actually like him.

    Good luck.

  7. The Edmonton Tourist

    it’s not like he is watching the football game, he is STUDYING for his CAREER! I thought we already established he is a keeper? Does your dad read this blog?
    HEY DAD! Call him and tell him the TOGA STORY! 🙂
    Just trying to be helpful 😉


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