Twenty Nine Dates

Last night’s dinner with Date #17 brings the grand total up to 29 dates.  And seeing as the Man from Marshalls has already invited me to “hang out” after work, it looks as though I’ll be coming to the end of my official thirty-date experiment in just a few hours.  That said, I feel that an experiment of this magnitude deserves to end on a higher note than whatever the Man from Marshalls manages to conjure up between now and then.  (I doubt, for example, that this “hanging out” will take place anywhere fancy enough to require high heels on my part.)

In the meantime, I think it’s time for me to get back to the hard science of dating.  And by “hard science” I mean numbers.  Proper social scientists always manage to cram a few charts into their reports and so, in the spirit of qualitative research, I offer the following:

Number of times the Man from Marshalls has called me—actually called me, as opposed to text messaging—since the Fairmount Park Incident: 4 (Let the record show that I was in the shower when he called the first time and not, as he suspected, simply ignoring him.)

Number of text messages received from the Man from Marshalls since The Incident: 8 (Or thereabouts… I deleted most of them because I was still pissed off at him.)

Number of text messages received from the Man from Marshalls during my Steven Starr dinner with Date #17: 4

Responses sent during my Steven Starr dinner with Date #17: 0 (Come on now, even serial daters have some class.)

Alcohol units consumed with Date #17: 3 (Entirely too many for a weeknight).

Appetizers consumed with Date #17: 2 (Also entirely too many, considering I also availed myself of the bread, a bite of Date #17’s tuna and an entire entrée of my own).

Desserts consumed with Date #17: Sadly, only half of a dulce de leche crepe with roasted vanilla bean ice cream.

Minutes spent speculating about how to roast ice cream: 5 (Turns out, they roast the beans before turning them into ice cream.  Who knew?)

Times Date #17 offers to pay for my cab: 2 (I know I already mentioned this but I felt it was worth emphasizing since no one since Date #4 has exhibited this much class.)

Times I graciously refuse: 2

Times I find myself thinking, “Gee, I’d like to kiss him:” Several.

Times I do in fact kiss him: 0 (The quick peck whilst haling a cab does not count.)

Minutes into my morning commute before Date #17 sends the requisite post-date text: 10

Minutes before I respond, blaming him, rather flirtatiously, for my hangover: 2 (Maybe.  It might have been less, actually.)

Number of text messages received from the Man from Marshalls during my morning commute: 0 (Are we surprised?  Probably not given the evening’s 4-1 ratio of texts received vs. texts sent.)

Awkward pauses during most recent phone conversation with the Man from Marshalls: Too many to count.  (But to his credit, he did read the blog and did not freak out.  Also to his credit, he asked, very calmly, if I was continuing to see other people.  When I replied that I was, and explained why I hadn’t responded to his text messages the night before, he continued to not-freak-out and issued the invitation to “hang out” on Friday night.  Although now I’m starting to think that if he really liked me, he would freak out?  Or maybe he’s just trying to be supportive of my so-called research?  Maybe he’s read somewhere that women need “space” and he’s trying to show off his new-man, fully evolved tendencies?  Then again, maybe I’m delusional and he’s just not that into me… I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see.)

Certainty that the Man from Marshalls will not like the aforementioned “statistic:” 99%

(I’m banking on the 1% chance that if he reads this, he’ll understand that I can’t just stop writing about my personal life—not until my Match.com subscription runs out at the end of the month.  Or until one of my suitors gives me some sort of ultimatum.  I do hope that eventually someone will ask me to chose between serial dating and going exclusive—or more importantly between blogging about my personal life and actually living it, privately, in an “I’m so in love!” sort of way— but until then, the experiment will continue.)

And so, to conclude today’s scientific reckonings:

Number of dates who had tickets to the very same baseball game earlier this week: 2, possibly 3 (Might have been a bit awkward if they’d run into each other while in line for beers; fortunately there were over 40,000 people at the game so the likelihood of this happening was pretty slim.)

Text messages received, out of the blue, from Date #7 over the past week: 4 (Hmmm.  Thoughts?)

Percentage of Match.com men I’ve now dated that have the same first name: 23% (And no, the Man from Marshalls is not one of them.)

Minutes it took me to calculate the above percentage: 7 (Clearly math is not my thing.)

Speaking of names, the Man from Marshalls has recently informed me that he resent being dubbed the Man from Marshalls, aka Date #16.  He says he would like me to give him a name, but he doesn’t want me to use his real name.  “What would you like me to call you?” I asked.  “You decide,” he replied.

Well folks, I waste enough time coming up with names for my fictional characters; I don’t see why I should have to come up with a name for a real person when I’ve already provided two perfectly good aliases (and when He Whom— evidently— Shall Not be Named, already has a perfectly good name).  If left to my own devices, however, I’ll probably go all Jane Austen on him, insisting upon Willoughby, Fitzwilliam or something equally ridiculous.  So, please, for all of our sakes’, if you have a better idea, leave your comment below.

21 Responses to “Twenty Nine Dates”

  1. Robert

    I enjoyed reading your blog. I have setup sillier experiements in my life and enjoyed watching how you proceeding working through them.

    I teach a class to men called “the mindful man” and used your recent blog during your bowling date as an example of fine behavior by the man from Marshalls.

    Thank you for sharing with the world

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Goodness, I’m flattered 🙂 And intrigued by the prospect of an actual class on manners for men… In any event, thanks for stopping by! I’m sure that the Man from Marshalls will be pleased to know that he’s been referenced as a shining beacon of appropriate male behavior.

      Reply
  2. Rachel

    I love “Man from Marshalls” – it’s easier to remember than a number.

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      I agree, and personally I think he should be pleased by the fact that he’s been the only date to get TWO psuedonyms thus far 🙂

      Reply
  3. micah

    Hi Kat,

    How are you? I like your style. I was wondering if you’d be willing to critique my match profile. You seem like the type of girl I would be interested in and any advice I can get on how to best present myself to said type, would be really appreciated. If interested, please send an email to heelsandhikingshoes@gmail.com. Id be happy to return the favor.

    Enjoy your Friday,
    Micah

    Reply
  4. Debbie

    I agree with the above comments… The Man From Marshalls is already out there. I like it. Call me a creature of habit… Ok, maybe just simply Marshall. But lets not get all Jane Austin. If he had totally swept you off your feet I might allow Darcy, but since he hasn’t lets not go there… That is sacred territory…

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      You’re right, you’re right… Darcy is RESERVED for THE ONE. By the way, I’m still waiting to hear about YOUR man story…

      Reply
  5. Christina V

    Man from Marshalls just flows off the tongue and paints perfectly handsome pictures in the mind… STICK WITH IT. (my humble opinion) OF course I have been known for doing things just to be contrary to the men in my life (so maybe my judgment is not the best to listen to). 😀

    I want to respect the privacy of the Man from Marshalls, but there is something SCREAMING in the back of my mind that asks: WHAT HAPPENED? Am I such a literalist that I didn’t see the innuedo or double meaning behind ANY of your writings to paint a clear picture behind what he did or said or didn’t do, DID I? I have become so invested in this adventure of yours I feel like I missed something. Its like I am reading the book and all of a sudden I am flipping back through the pages looking to see if I turned the page too quickly and checking the page numbers to confirm that pages have not been torn out. Alas, I think I have read all there is to read. So I pose this question knowing there may be no answer.

    But I am going to ask it any way because I am naturally curious and in constant study of the male psyche always trying to better understand them. Since I have found that if I can understand them (even if I don’t agree), I don’t worry as much about the little things.

    As a side note, (from personal experience) I am VERY leary about a man’s motives to just “hang out” instead of date… There is potential for a good friendship, a fun partner in casual conversations, but it can also lead to a host of other less healthy and emotionally scarring things as well.

    So in a nutshell I’m confused… have you kicked him to freind zone or has he just fallen off the pedistal and your just adjusting to him being a normal Guy?

    Reply
    • Kat Richter

      Hi Christina, yours is actually the second note of this nature that I’ve received 🙂 And don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything– I was intentionally vague about “what happened” with the Man from Marshalls, both out of respect for his privacy and because I myself don’t really know. The straw that may or may break the camel’s back occurred last weekend when we went to Fairmount Park but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with your “he’s fallen off the pedestal” comment. Only time will tell whether or not I can handle his “normal guy” behavior!

      Reply
  6. jswesner

    He will always be Man from Marshalls in my mind.
    Plus what has he done to deserve being a Austen character?
    Please don’t stop this experiment. I love reading!

    Reply
  7. Zak

    I love that you provided some stats. I actually (being a math/engineering/science nerd) did a similar thing a few weeks ago here:
    Ten Dates. Time for Stats.

    I fully plan on doing an updated version once I get to date #20, which if all goes to plan should be late next week or the week after. Unfortunately for me, while my stats are looking good, I’m not getting the 2nd, 3rd and 4th dates you are…so you’re obviously doing something right.

    Reply
  8. Laurie Alves

    @ Kat, Very funny stuff. I say keep the title “Man from Marshalls” for sure. Have to say I’m conflicted. I love that I am not in the “dating” world anymore, but sad that I dont get to experience the adventure! Hope you find the happiness you give to others. Laurie @http://thewomanontheroof.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/who-died-and-made-me-emily-post/

    Reply
  9. itsahappyblog

    Marshall would work but isn’t as poetic as Man from Marshalls. My husband now refers to you as the one who ‘blogs about dating cereal’. HA! He has been hard pressed to pull me away from your posts and join him in conversation once I start to read. So funny because I have turned the tables on him. Now he knows how hard it is for me to get him back once he has zones out on whatever it is he’s doing;)

    Reply
  10. Landlord

    Maybe if he reads how cool his name sounds to everyone, he’ll begin to flash on images of the Marlboro Man, or some other studly type of icon. Perhaps you can less discreet once this all is made into a BOOK—it is difficult even for your landlord to suss out, but at least I have some of your history to fill in the blanks. You’ve got us all scratching our heads…but folks, not to worry, knowing her as I do, another drama is sure to be just around the corner 😉

    Reply
  11. Catherine

    I love Man from Marshall’s. Don’t change it 🙂
    And love these stats. Interesting approach to a blog post 🙂

    Reply

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