Frequently Asked Questions re/ Frequent Online Dates

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I’ve been getting quite a few questions about my little experiment, although seeing as I’m gearing up for my fourteenth first date since the beginning of August, “little” no longer seems like the right word.  Since I’ve have a break for the past two nights (by which I mean I’ve been working instead of dating), I thought I’d take the time to respond to your questions, and maybe figure out what the heck I’m doing in the process.

(Please note that this “experiment” is a work in progress, it’s about as scientific as the “crack” cookie recipe my flat mates and I “invented” during grad school and, above all, it’s meant to be lighthearted.  If you’re looking for a highbrow meditation on modern feminism, I’d be happy to post a few of my old Oxford reading lists but something tells me that if you’re reading this, you’d rather just enjoy your morning cup of coffee with a side of humor.)

Question:  What happens if someone wants a second date?

Answer:  I put them through my Second Date Matrix, of course!  Height, political views, income, and willingness to put up with me are all carefully calculated.  If the date in question scores an 8 or above (on a scale of 10), I say yes; if not, I send them a form email that reads, “Thank you for being a contestant on the Kat Richter Dating Spectacular.  Unfortunately, Kat has moved on and you won’t be moving on with her but please see the hostess on your way out for a lovely parting gift.”

Actually, I don’t do any of that.  Taking the opposite approach to America’s anti-drug campaign, I generally Just Say Yes! Unless of course the man in question is completely undesirable and therefore undeserving of a second date, in which case I find that a polite but direct text message usually does the trick.

Q: Are you worried that you might skip right on past “The One?”

A: Absolutely!  I’m worried about everything in this project, ranging from “Do these shoes look good with this dress?” to “Have I lost my mind?”  I’m having a few moral qualms as well but I think I’ll address these on Sunday since Sundays are when I teach First Day School (which is Quaker Sunday School and no, I’m not kidding) and I’ll be feeling a bit more enlightened over the weekend.

Getting back to your questions, yes, I’m already second guessing myself for the “just friends” email I sent Date #10 yesterday, especially after receiving his reply (“Well, Kat, I already have enough friends.  Good luck in your search”).  What Date #10 doesn’t realize is that I don’t have enough friends, at least not here in Philadelphia, but I do have one small consolation: Date #10 doesn’t like sushi.  How can I hang out with someone who doesn’t like sushi?

Q:  What happened with Date #13?

A: We sat around and gossiped about which of our old classmates have gotten knocked up, arrested and/or kicked out of the Marines.

Q: Is there going to be a Round 2?

A: Eventually, but just as friends.  I’ve yet to ascertain his views on sushi so he’s safe for now.

Q: Date #9 sounds good so far.  Is he going to be your last first date?

A: Nope.  I’m meeting Date #14 tomorrow.  I’d be lying, however, if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that wanted to just give up on #15-30 and concentrate on building an actual relationship with #9.

Q: But if you call it quits, what would you write about?

A: I have no idea!  Something tells me my readership would plummet if I were to, say, re-name my blog “What color nail polish is Kat wearing today?” or “Kat’s complaining about SEPTA… again.”  Blogging about work (yes, I do occasionally take a break from dating to pretend I’m a productive member of society) is also out of the question.  Part of me kind of hoped that Corporate would find my blog when I worked at The Shop, and that I’d get fired over it.  But now that I’m back to teaching several nights a week, I don’t want to get fired because I actually like my job.

Q: How is it possible that a woman of your obvious good looks doesn’t have men at your beck and call?

A: I know, right?  (By the way, this question totally made my day.)  In all seriousness, it has to do with the fact that I don’t get out much, or at least I didn’t until last month, and I’m picky.  On top of that, I’m also kind of shy.  I haven’t been out dancing since returning to the US and I do my best work on the dance floor (just ask my old flat mates… rare indeed was the night I left TigerTiger without a phone number and some hapless bloke begging me to come home with him.  But the men who frequent the nightclubs of Piccadilly Circus are not exactly… well, they’re no Fitzwilliam Darcy’s).

Q: Can second (or third) dates count as a date?  Or does it have to be 30 First Dates?

A: What a great question!  If I were counting all dates, I’d be up to 20 by Sunday!  (A gold star to whoever can recall which three men, in addition, to #9, earned themselves a second date.)  I recently hosted a friend from the UK who brought to my attention that fact that I might reach my goal a little sooner, and with much less effort, if I were to engage in a bit of mathematical finagling.  We shall see.

Q: Do you seriously have world population map above your bed?

A: What, you mean socially conscious cartographic renderings aren’t sexy?  I hope you’re not suggesting that I get rid of its buddy, my full size Mercator Projection, too.

And last but not least:

Q: Wow, Kat, you have such awesome style sense!  I’m so jealous and was wondering if you’ll be conducting bargain basement tours of Philadelphia’s hot spots (and your mother’s wardrobe) any time soon?

A: Okay, so actually no one has asked me that, but the answer would be “Yes!”  I should warn you, however, that the last time I took an out-of-town friend to Jomar’s it turned into an epic three hour adventure, with nary a coffee shop in sight.  Nonetheless, I scored a brand new ball gown for ten bucks.  I’m hoping that someone will give me an occasion to wear it one of these days.

13 Responses to “Frequently Asked Questions re/ Frequent Online Dates”

  1. Kathryn Craft

    Great overview, Kat. Next time you do one of these you should include internal links back to, say, “Date #9.” We’re having as hard a time as you are remembering them by the number! Off to page back through…

  2. Meghan

    OK, the references to TigerTiger and “crack” cookies made my morning. Trust her word folks, she rarely left the depths of central London without one (or maybe even two) London blokes begging for a date.

    I miss the clubbing scene in London. It was so much fun but much less seedy than in the US (as far as dance moves are concerned). If you’re having a hard time in Philly, imagine how weird it’s been for me out in Vegas of all places!

  3. Debbie

    Hey! I loved the Jomar adventure! I was just thinking that we needed to do that again… So what if the two dresses were rejected for my sister’s wedding. I got a nice retail tour of Philadelphia out of the deal. But I agree…next time get the coffee first.
    (I must add that I am super excited to be referenced indirectly in your blog…)

  4. awindram

    “Unless of course the man in question is completely undesirable and therefore undeserving of a second date, in which case I find that a polite but direct text message usually does the trick.”

    Probably best if you send that text at 6am.

  5. beautydeep

    Not going to lie, I feel pretty special having you answer my first two questions. (:

    Also, you should write about the second dates your having too! As for not reading if you stop the project, don’t worry I’ll still read, your writing style is entertaining.

  6. Your Landlord

    Don’t forget to add the Columbus Flea Market to your shopping tour…Debbie, there were fantastic dresses there today–I had to restrain myself. I second the suggestion to adding the multiple date reviews, we are all so curious. (although I realize they may be more personal/private as they go on…LOL)

  7. rozencrantzandguildenstern

    Please wear the ball gown on your next date. Just because. No rationality beyond that. Well, besides the fact that it would be ridiculously hilarious. And if he’s a keeper he won’t care whether you’re wearing a ridiculous ball gown or a little black dress. And the fact that ridiculous things tend to make people’s days.

  8. Wendy

    I subscribe to a handful of blogs, but yours in the only one I actually get excited to see in my inbox. I like the short and sweetness to it, the humor, the whole idea. It’s a fun and easy read. I just hope I don’t get caught sneak-reading it while I am supposed to be typing up memos for work… Thanks for the laughs!

  9. sarahnsh

    I’m having a fun time with your little experiment and you’re definitely a lot more daring than I am. I am a huge extrovert but when it comes to meeting guys I tend to get shy, though as I’ve gotten older I definitely have become more of a loud mouth. I do love your cute little outfits and wish I could wear your shoes, but unfortunately I’m a big baby and can only wear two pair that don’t eat my feet and give me blisters.

  10. Jenn B

    I will still read if you stop the experiment…though i beg you not to! The entire K-town clan loves it! I go home for a weekend and one of the first things brought up is “Did you read Kat’s blog today?!” “What? She updated?! I have to go read it!”

    PS I would ask the last question 🙂

  11. ayogisworld

    “How is it possible that a woman of your obvious good looks doesn’t have men at your beck and call?”
    I don’t know either. Perhaps, extremely creative people simply have less mental “space” and need for (one more) “significant” other. Everything has its price, including beauty, intelligence and creativity…


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