As an educator (and founder of the Kat Richter Institute of Distance Learning for Problem Customers), I’m starting to get depressed. I’m getting no where in my crusade for zip code education. (If you’re sitting at your computer wondering what the heck I’m talking about, it’s probably because you’re new to the Institute and not because I’m losing my mind, if that’s what you were thinking. Refer back to “Shopping 101” for a brief orientation).
This afternoon, I was up at Reggie #1 when two women in their early thirties stepped into line. The first was in the middle of a very interesting phone call and because Friday afternoons tend to be pretty boring at The Shop, I couldn’t help but tune in.
[Warning: the “F bomb” will be dropped in the course of this entry. And not by me, but by a customer. As a journalist, however, I feel compelled to report the full story. Truthfully. Because that’s what journalists do, right?]
“I don’t care why you were with her!” she shrieked into the phone. Her friend nodded enthusiastically as she slammed her basket on the counter. “I don’t care when you slept with her. Or whether it was before or after me. Don’t ever call me again!”
With that, she dropped the phone into her pocketbook and forced a smile. “What do you need? My zip code? Sure. It’s two-one-five…”
She paused, suddenly realizing that she had given me her area code and not her zip code. We’ve been through this before, students.
“Sorry,” she apologized.
“It’s okay,” I replied. After all, she was clearly distressed.
Taking a deep breath, she recited, “One-nine-one-four—What a f*cking bastard!— seven.”
Well now. That was one for the books. Perhaps she’d be willing to give a guest lecture at the Kat Richter Institute of Distance Learning for Problem Customers. In the meantime: I’ve decided that the time has come for your first homework assignment— yes folks, we’re going interactive. Please scroll down, click “Leave a Reply” and respond to today’s lesson with your most creative, humorous or downright obnoxious answer to that oh-so-infuriating question, “May I have your zip code?”
The winner will get a gold star. And possibly a shout out. And you’ll earn the rest of your class a reprieve in my zip code diatribes. I’ll start writing about something really interesting instead… something like Britain’s new coaltion government or—ooh! I know! Shopping bags. How cool is that? Stay tuned. And do your homework.