All posts tagged: The Social Network

Neither Girlfriend nor Facebook Friend

I’m sitting at my desk, snacking on raw almonds and thinking “Hmm, these nuts are rather nice without chocolate, actually” when my phone rings.  It’s a text from my friend Marisa: You have a boyfriend??? Marisa lives in LA.  This means that Wednesday’s misunderstanding, as promulgated by my unfortunate use of the word “girlfriend,” has gone bi-coastal. Great, I find myself thinking, just great.  Before I know Date #17 himself will get wind of it, and then there’ll be no convincing him to join me for the annual Hooper’s Island Black Friday Martini Bar Soiree. “Read the rest of the post,” I text back.  You know, the part where I explain that I took artistic liberties with the “girlfriend” portion of Wednesday’s title? As much as I’d like to be Date #17’s girlfriend, and as much as I suspect the feeling’s mutual, we’re so not there yet. In this digital day and age, there are certain things one must do before taking one’s relationship(s) to the next level.  I am referring, of course, to the …

He Doesn’t Like to Snack!

Houston, we have a problem.  Date #17 doesn’t like to snack.  I repeat: he doesn’t like to snack. He’ll eat his edamame and drink his fancy wine but—and this is a direct quote— he’s “not really into snacking.” I don’t know how you can be “not into snacking.”  That’s like saying you’re not into breathing or taking naps on Sunday afternoons.  Of course, I come from a household in which guests are issued a cheese platter before they’re even relieved of their coats—a household in which is it never not happy hour—so it is quite possible that my enthusiasm for snacking is slightly off kilter.  But if there is anything strange about my penchant for mid-day munching (by which I mean mid-morning, mid-afternoon and midnight), then Date #17’s lack thereof is equally bizarre—not to mention devastating. How can I, with my selfless devotion to the Fairtrade chocolate industry, be with a man who doesn’t snack?  Am I supposed to just abandon the co-op farmers who rely on my patronage?  Should I ignore my God-given talent …