one way

What Happened Last Week

I’m sorry for last week—for getting you all excited about my return to “regular” posting only to leaving you hanging with a single, solitary, charming-but-rather-daft post about shower curtains. The thing is I have this friend. And three months ago she met this guy on the internet (Plenty of Fish of all places…) and now…

We look basically like this

The Case of the Broken Sled (or, a Surprise in My Bed)

I wrote but never published the following post as my last relationship was falling apart last winter. A few weeks ago, we got into a fight about going sledding.  (I wanted to go; he refused.) It wasn’t actually a fight per se—we’ve never had a real fight—but it made me realize, for better or worse,…

picnic

On My Team

I’ve spent the better part of my life wondering if love is real or not. On good days, I think it’s a feeling, an emotion, an action, perhaps even a scientifically verifiable state of being if I listen to enough NPR. But on bad days, I think it’s just something we poetic types go on…

roses

The Great Rose Petal Debacle

On our first date, there was, amongst other things, mention of a wedding. It was for an old friend of his from high school and would be held on the day after Christmas in New York. Since there are few greater joys in life than having an excuse to buy a new hat, I started…

elr ey

The Story Begins

Okay, okay, I shall stop teasing you all. Here at last is the story of the flowers behind my front door, but we must start, as all good stories start, at the beginning. It was today. Exactly one year ago. When my world (or so I thought) cracked in two. It was today that a…

Flowers

A Surprise Behind the Door

I suppose it’s time to tell you: I came back to my house yesterday—my house, the one with the thrice scrubbed floors that still feel and look and smell of plaster dust, where every chair I own was drug out for the holidays only to be ensconced once again, as soon as the last guests…

agratr

Continued Misadventures in Garter Belt-Wearing

My pre-departure shopping list includes, amongst other things, pepper spray and thigh high stockings. (Go ahead. Before we get to the funny part of this story, you can insert your witty but ultimately misogynistic comment—something along the lines of “Tsssk, tsssk. You wouldn’t need the former if you wouldn’t wear the latter”— but then remember…

wine and cheese

The Trouble with Older Men

Okay, now that we’ve gotten the real estate out of the way, let’s talk about men. As most of you know, I’ve always gone for older men. When I was in my early twenties, this translated to cars and proper houses and fancy dinners on Valentine’s Day—a reprieve, if you will, from my world of…