All posts tagged: One-night stand

My Blog Boyfriend Talks Sex

Rather than bore you all with the details of this year’s Congress on Research in Dance Conference (or the fact that the paper I’m meant to deliver tomorrow morning remains little more than a pile of notes and slides) I’ve decided to ask Zak, my “blog boyfriend” to fill in for me today.  You may know Zak from his blog, Slow Down Son, or from his regular comments on my love life; turns out he was quite the serial dater himself back in the day, so grab yourself a cup of coffee (I’ll probably be on my fourth by the time you read this) and enjoy a little dose of (male) perspective! I was asked by Kat to write a guest post about relationships and sex, with a focus on serial dating and one-night stands.  At first I thought “I don’t have any experience regarding one-night stands, and do I really qualify to talk about serial dating?” As it turns out: I do, and yes.  And they’re related. Prior to my adventures in the online dating world, …

The One Night Stand

According to Kate Bollick, the Mosuo people of southwest China never get married.  One night stands are perfectly acceptable, brothers assume paternal responsibility for their sisters’ children and everyone is totally okay with this. In All the Single Ladies, Bollick explains, Sexual relations are kept separate from family. At night, a Mosuo woman invites her lover to visit her babahuago (flower room); the assignation is called sese (walking). If she’d prefer he not sleep over, he’ll retire to an outer building (never home to his sisters). She can take another lover that night, or a different one the next, or sleep every single night with the same man for the rest of her life—there are no expectations or rules. As Cai Hua, a Chinese anthropologist, explains, these relationships, which are known as açia, are founded on each individual’s autonomy, and last only as long as each person is in the other’s company. Every goodbye is taken to be the end of the açia relationship, even if it resumes the following night. “There is no concept …