ceiling

Above Average

The average American male, upon finding himself in the kitchen of a woman he’s just met on the morning after their second date, would probably skedaddle when faced with the prospect of meeting said woman’s father. But he doesn’t skedaddle. In fact, when my dad arrives, 8 minutes ahead of schedule, he simply says hello…

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The 12 Hour Marathon Date

You know those people who go on first dates that last like for 12 hours? With men they meet on the internet? Those people confound me. Especially because those 12 hours are followed (depending on the severity) by at least 48 hours of “Oh my God, he’s THE ONE! He really is this time, I…

toe

The De-Stringing

So where were we? Right. The street corner, Starbucks in hand, him asking to see me again and me saying yes. The only problem is that this is late November, which means we’re coming up on what I like to refer to as my Ultimate B*tch Period, courtesy of The Lady Hoofers and our annual…

3day

Quite Possibly My Last First Date

As the bus crawls towards Rittenhouse, it dawns on me: this might possibly be my last first date. Not because of anything in particular in his profile or the messages we’ve been exchanging (although I do like him quite a bit on paper) but because of me. I finally have my sh*t together. I’m wearing…

elr ey

The Story Begins

Okay, okay, I shall stop teasing you all. Here at last is the story of the flowers behind my front door, but we must start, as all good stories start, at the beginning. It was today. Exactly one year ago. When my world (or so I thought) cracked in two. It was today that a…

agratr

Continued Misadventures in Garter Belt-Wearing

My pre-departure shopping list includes, amongst other things, pepper spray and thigh high stockings. (Go ahead. Before we get to the funny part of this story, you can insert your witty but ultimately misogynistic comment—something along the lines of “Tsssk, tsssk. You wouldn’t need the former if you wouldn’t wear the latter”— but then remember…

waitingatairport

Of Course, Of Course

The European has gone back to Europe. Not for good, but for a few weeks, and when you’ve got plaster ceilings falling down around you and your entire life in boxes, a few weeks seems like a very long time. Still, it’s just as well. Now I’ll have no excuse not to work on my…