Signs of a Good First Date

Here’s how a first date is supposed to work: Man shows up on time—even a bit early—and politely asks the hostess if it would be possible to get a table now, as opposed to half an hour from now.  (Check.) Man greets woman with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and discreetly-but-not-presumptuously places…

Welcome to Miami

You know those idiots from the Midwest who lose their minds when they go to the beach?  They only have a weekend in Florida so they hit the sand with nary a drop of sunscreen, determined to squeeze as much tanning as possible into a 48-hour period, and then act surprised when they get back…

Miami Bound

So today, I’m heading to Miami.  I’ve never flown to Florida for just a weekend before, and it seems rather decadent.  My guilt over carbon emissions, however, hasn’t kept me from packing six pairs of shoes into my carryon, nor has it kept me from agreeing to fly to Miami in the first place. A…

Something Akin to Cabin Fever

Between snow days and sick days, my bank account’s not looking nearly as healthy as it once did.  Nonetheless, when I brave the snow to deposit this week’s paychecks, the branch manager invites me into his office and urges me to consider upgrading my free checking account. “With your assets, you’re eligible for a Crown…