broken heart

Bird Shat and Break Ups

So I’m standing at the bus stop, minding my own business, when my partner in crime alerts me to the fact that I have yogurt stain on my shirt. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a big deal but A) it’s one of my favorite shirts (teal silk, second hand but still…) B) I’m headed into New…

The End of an Era

I’ve taken the plunge: no coffee, no chocolate, no cheese and no alcohol.  Why, you might ask, would I do such a thing?  Why would I willingly deprive myself of the four things that make life worth living?  Well, the answer is quite simple.  It all comes down to skincare.  And since the L’Oreal Sublime Skin…

Sublime Skin (Part 2)

Are you sitting down?  I hope so, because this is going to come as a complete shock: the L’Oreal Paris Body Expertise Sublime Skin Patch does not make your skin sublime.  At least not if you cut the sample patch in half, spend eight hours walking around with the “Concentrated Caffeine Cx Agent” stuck to…

My Quest for “Sublime Skin” (Part 1)

It’s 3:00pm in Philadelphia.  I’m seven hours into my new self-preservation beauty regime, which is just an hour shy of the maximum “recommended usage” for the L’Oreal Paris Body Expertise Sublime Skin Patch.   As of yet, I don’t have sublime skin.  But I’m going to wait the full eight hours because the trial packet only…

Betrayal

I have cellulite.  I’m not quite sure when this happened because I’ve always liked my legs.  At least I’ve liked my legs as much as a dancer who’s spent two decades scrutinizing her appearance in floor-to-ceiling studio mirrors is actually allowed to like her legs (which to say, not very much: my calves are too…