Tomorrow is my birthday, which means I get to write WHATEVER I want today and you HAVE to read it because I’m the birthday girl and I said so!  My plans for the evening are top secret but rest assured: it’s going to be a fan-tabulous evening.

I’m really excited because this year, unlike last year, I’m dating a man I actually respect.  This year, unlike last year, I’m dating a man who respects me back.  And this year, unlike last year, I’m going to spend the morning after my birthday eating bagels and cream cheese (vegan, sundried tomato cream cheese if I have my way) instead of driving out to Pittsburgh only to be greeted by a lukewarm Hot Pocket and the sight of another woman’s hair in the shower.

I still don’t know why I put up with that crap for as long as I did, and even though I don’t usually use the word “crap” in my blog, it’s time to call a spade a spade.  I was going through a bout of temporary insanity—that’s the only possible explanation— and I remain eternally grateful to those of you who took the time to point this out, both publically and privately, and who kept pointing it out until I came to my senses.  Thank you for sticking with me.

Now, onto happier subjects.

The Wedding Date is, like he is with most things, extremely methodical about gift giving.  He researches everything—we’re talking product reviews, blogs, podcasts, the works—and he even has a spreadsheet where he keeps a rotating list of gift ideas for family members and friends.  I think he finished his Christmas shopping in July last year (or thereabouts… I do occasionally exaggerate) and I’m pretty sure he already has the 2012 holiday season squared away.

I don’t know if he has me on his spreadsheet.  (I was tempted to check once when I was at his house using his computer but I decided to rearrange his furniture instead…)  Nevertheless, he keeps telling me that he’s not sure when he’ll be arriving to celebrate tomorrow night because he has to “take care of a few things first.”

He also warned me that not everything was finished yet, so I’m not to be disappointed by whatever he does end up giving me tomorrow because there is more on its way.

I have no idea what to expect.

Like literally no idea.

I keep trying to trick him into giving me a hint but he’s a good deal more intelligent than most of the men I’ve dated… plus he set the bar pretty high for himself by giving me a personalized Jane Austen necklace at New Years so there’s really no telling what he has in store.

I’d ask you all to guess but I don’t trust you to restrain yourselves to appropriate responses so instead, tell me your favorite birthday gift ever and whether or not your significant other was actually the person who gave it to you.